Castle: Take a chance on me
by bcastletime
Summary: What if Beckett realizes, when hanging off the roof, that she really is in love with Castle but finds out that it might be too late for them... end of season 4. This is my version and I had to add my "castle twist". Thanks for the comments. winks. Ch 28 coming soon...almost finished! smiles.
1. Ch 1- No worries

**"Take a chance on me." This was a challenge writing. my sister challenged me when I went out town for a road trip to help me get out of my writer's block (poetry wise) and she knew that I had never seen the show "Castle." She thought that giving me challenges would help, (did it ever...I got some many ideas for other stories and poems) For this challenge I was to read the script of Castle, 4.23 when I read it, I thought about what was not seen in the episode. (mostly Castle). After that it just took off. **

**This is where my story "Take a chance on me" came from. The parts that are "bold" are from the show episode. (since I have no idea, who translated it from the show, I want to thank any of the translators (is that what you call them?) for their great work!) I added those just to show were in the episode my story, say 'fits'. Any way, enough about that, it takes place towards the middle of the episode (I think) just after the "fight" between Castle and Beckett. (so sad, I cried just reading it. poor Castle).**

**Hope you enjoy my version, please tell me what you think...**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**  
**Dec 7th 2012**

**chapter 1- no more worries**

**CASTLE: Well, I guess there's just nothing I can say, is there? Okay, um Yeah, you're right, Kate, it's your life. You can throw it away if you want, but I'm not gonna stick around and watch you. So this is, uh over. I'm done.**

**Castle leaves her apartment.**

Castle leans against the wall just outside Beckett's apartment door. He puts his face in his hands and begins to cry. He slides down the wall, just letting the tears flow. Then puts his knees against his chest.

New york had always been Castle's home, but now he wasn't sure. He was in love, sure he was before he had been through two divorces but this hurt the most, having his heart torn out of his chest for protecting the woman that he fallen in love with. They had been through it all together. shootings, bombings, russian mobs, drowning in a car even working the CIA but none of that matter. Well, not anymore. Her words today, proved that to him. The words repeated in his mind. "This is my life...mine...you have no right to..."

He sniffed. "Then why am I here?" Castle blinked away his tears. "Not anymore." He made the decision right then and there that he would start moving tomorrow. "Tomorrow" that word, made more tears flow. That was their special word. The word that gave him hope. He wiped his eyes with the back of hand and gets to his feet.

"How can she do this to me after...I thouhgt I meant more to her, I guess not. After all..." he swallows. "She was...I guess I was a damn fool in believing that we had something special. I thought she was different. I should go and never look back." He takes one last look at her door, which didn't open back up. "Bye forever," He walks away. He pushes over a trashcan in the hallway spilling trash all in someone's way. A can rolls towards his feet.

He decides to kick it down the hall some. "That's what she did to me, just kicked me to the curb, for protecting her life. Oh well." He sighs. "Her lose. I guess I'll see her picture under the headlines on the front page of the paper tomorrow." He punches the wall, at his own comment. He winces in the pain that shot up his arm. He shook his hand. "Damn you Kate Beckett. Damn you. Damn what you did to me... Damn you for playing with my emotions like that." He winced again in the pain not only in his hand but his heart.

He kicks over another trashcan over in the lobby. "This is not like me but...I better get out of here before I break something, other then my hand." He looks down a his hurting, swelling hand. He sighs. "You knew how I felt and you didn't care. I...so much for our friendship ever meaning anything." He pushes open the door to the outside. "You don't have to worry about me ever again." He walks into the night.

_**to be continued...**_

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_**oh by the way, I got all 4 seasons of "Castle" for Christmas and I got one richard Castle comic.- they tried to get me the other RC books but they couldn't find them...so I guess I'll have to wait for those. But for now, I really happy. I will soon be able to catch up. but for now, I hope that you like my story. It was way longer than I thought it was going to be.**_


	2. Ch 2-The call

**Sorry so late in getting up dates up. When I let my sister read the finished story she told me I didn't have enough Beckett so I rewrote chapter 2 and then well, the rest didn't flow so I ended up rewriting a few chapters. Anyway, here's chapter 2. Also,**

**The parts that are "bold" are from the show episode. (since I have no idea, who translated it from the show, I want to thank any of the translators (is that what you call them?) for their great work!) I added those just to show were in the episode my story, say 'fits'.**

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**Take a chance on me****  
****by BeCastle**

**Chapter 2- the call**

Beckett's apartment (inside)

Beckett stood there, frozen in shock, watching him walk out. Not just her apartment but her life. It took her a few seconds to process his final words. _"This is over….I'm done…."_

Still not quite realizing what just happened to her, she blinks.

"How could he do?.." Tears began to invade her eyes, swallowing she spun around away from the door trying to free the images in her mind, "How could he do this me after…"

She sniffed tears flowing down her cheeks. She was able to get one of her feet to move again. She had a flash back of Montgomery at the hanger. _"Sometimes we have to make a stand and Kate this one's mine."_

_"You don't have to do this, I…" _Then the shot rang out. The shots that started all of this. Running, her running. She saw his limp crumbled body, laying there on the floor of the hanger.

"All of this stays between our internal family," she sniffs now….she blinks hard…_our little family_…she swipes her hand down her face. _Her family_. She considers Castle part of that family, her family, but...now...her little family was breaking up right before her eyes.

At Montgomery's funeral she talked about him and how he was taking a stand in his journey. _"Sometimes we are lucky to have someone to stand with us on our journey…_" her mind flashes back to Castle smiling, the smile that held her heart, standing there beside her then he spoke his final words_.."I'm done, this is over…."_

"Is this our last stand? Fighting with each other this way?"

More tears flooded her eyes, "Castle wait….I…." she turns back around stepping towards the closed door. She reaches out for the door knob…"it can't end like this for…" she thought for a second. "What us…there is and was no us… He was just… a partner," her mind reminded her. "Someone who…" she sniffs trying to stay in control of her tears. Like that was helping. "Who stabbed me in the back, from the one guy that I thought I trusted. The one man I…." she shook her head. she turned away from the door. "How could someone do….then blame…"

She sniffs, _"Cause I love you Kate, always have…I've been here right here for 4 years." his smoothing voice, rang out in her mind. which made her heart ache more._

She leans against the still closed door. "What has happened to me…us …" she slumps to the sit on the floor. "What have I done? How do I fix this…? I…" she reaches in her pocket flips her phone open pushes a number in.

Lanie recognizes that something is wrong without Beckett saying a word. Between sobs Beckett tells Lanie that Castle's gone for good.

"I'm on my way girl. Don't move."

Beckett grabs Lanie as soon as she arrives. "Sweetie it's ok."

"He's gone?" She sniffs.

"Who's gone…" Laine knew who, she just wanted Beckett to say his name.

"Cas…Castle." She sobbed…"he's gone for good."

"You don't know that."

"I do…and….."

"He's left before," Thinking back to the time that he took off for the Hampton's for three months and how sad Beckett had become. How she…got on without him…..Lanie swallowed,_ "I don't want that Beckett back." _She took a deep breath, _"He has a hold on her heart even though she doesn't know it, I can't go through that again, no one can."_

"This is different…I…we had a fight I…he…" Beckett tried to tell her but the words they didn't fit together.

"Here," Lanie handed her friend a tissue from a box she found on the table in her den. Beckett blew her nose, Laine hugs her friend again trying to comfort her the best that she knew how right now till she knew the whole story. There was more than just a fight something else went on.

"Let's sit." Lanie suggests to her friend slowly walking her to the couch. The one that held so many secrets of its own.

"You didn't …" Beckett tries between her words but the tears keep flowing. "see… how." Beckett lowered her eyes not wanting Lanie to see her cry, but Lanie already knew everything from day one. The day that Beckett's life…their lives changed, having to take care of Castle…..

"He loves you, you know." Beckett rolls her eyes. She knew that he was in love with her, he always had been.

"I know but…"

"But nothing girl. One fight isn't going to end…."

"It never started."

"It did four years ago, you're just starting to see it clearly now."

"Lanie I…don't."

"You needed a friend, a sister, to talk to. So start talking."

Castle's loft

**[Castle walks dejectedly into his living room. He sees Alexis's graduation cap and gown and fingers the tassel on the hat.]**

**ALEXIS: Everything okay?****  
****CASTLE :Yeah. Fine. How's your speech coming?**  
**ALEXIS: I have watched or read every graduation address ever written and compiled all the best advice into one speech, and then I read it out loud. (he smiles) And guess what I sounded like? A pompous ass. I m eighteen years old. What the hell do I know?**

**[Castle hugs Alexis.]**

**CASTLE: Hey, look, everything you know, everything you will know is is what's true for you.****  
****ALEXIS: All I know is, everything's changing. Everything's going to be different, and I'm so scared.**  
**CASTLE: Of what?**  
**ALEXIS: Moving on.**  
**ALEXIS: gives him a sad look.**  
**CASTLE: Write about that. He nods. (he gives her a kiss on her forehead and pulls her back into a hug) That feels true.**

Alexis sits on the couch writing what she thinks is meant by the truth, about moving on and notices something is different about the way her dad was acting. He was grumbling under his breath as he washes his hand under the water in the sink in the kitchen. She saw the look on his face. Pain, and lots of it. She suspected not just the pain in his hand was upsetting him. What happened to him today? Something happened. He shook his hand, still grumbling something that to her, sounded like Beckett's name and a few not so nice words.

"Dad?"

"Yes," Castle faces his daughter, trying to hide his emotions, from her but he never could.

"What happened to your hand?" she walks over to him and takes his hand gently in hers.

"I hurt," he swallowed, Alexis watches his eyes. She would know if he was lying. "I hurt it at work. Um...I kinda slammed it into a wall."

"How...Why?" He goes to the fridge.

"I don't want to talk about it." He grabs a beer, and shuts the fridge. Alexis changes the subject.

"Is Detective Beck..." He shivers, a cold sharp pain went through him. He shook his head. Odd Alexis thought. "coming tomorrow?"

"I don't think so sweetie. I..."

"You guys had another fight?" He sighs, as he sits down on the couch, not looking at his daughter anymore.

"That would be a yes," She stood in front of him, which made him look at her. "Dad, how could you...you knew this meant a lot to me." She turns and walks out of the room leaving him all alone.

"Great, now my daughter hates me too. Not a good day." He leans his head back against the couch's back. He shuts his eyes thinking that he might finally get some peace from all the questions. That was short-lived.

"Richard dear," he could hear his mother, call from another room. He was in no mood to talk to her. But he knew if he didn't answer her back she would be closer to him then he wanted.

"Yes mother." his tone unhappy. Why can't he just be left alone, to what...grieve?

"Just making sure you had everything ready for to..." He cut her off.

"It will..." He goes back to the fridge and pulls out another drink. one is not going to be enough to ease his pain.

He picks up his phone. while waiting for someone to pick up he slides his hands down his face. _Why me?_

into the phone:

"Good, as soon as you can the kitchen, my bedroom and my office but leave the furniture, I'll get that stuff later on."

**to be continued...**


	3. Ch 3-The talk

**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**  
**  
**

**chapter 3- the talk**

Castle's loft

His daughter who, had been coming back down the stairs, to check on her dad cause she felt a little guilty of how she left things with him, heard the last words.

"Who was on the phone?" He was always asking her so she thought she would ask him, hoping that it was detective Beckett. She knew from the tears in his eyes it wasn't good.

"No one.. um...I just..." He goes to his daughter and hugs her. "My baby's graduating." he sniffs, "She's growing up. Leaving me."

"Oh, dad." she pulls away and looks up at him. "I'll come back to visit. I know it's hard. It's going to be hard on me too but..."

"I knew this day would come, but I wasn't ready. Just not yet." He smiles, the frist one that she had seen on his face since he got back from work.

He didn't tell her, that this along with Beckett being..._what was she never caring for me_, was why he was leaving his home. He wanted to get out of out of there as soon as the party was over. For, everyone he gave a rats ass about was moving on in their lives. He was left alone with nothing. Well, nothing that meant meaning in his life.

He just wasted 4 years of his life, here and for what? He could have taken his daughter anywhere in the world to go to school and Alexis would have been just as happy. But he stayed here, hoping that the city would be kind to him. Hoping that fate kept him here for a reason. What to give him more heartache then before. After Alexis was back up stairs. he starts to think of her again...her smiling face, the one that he put there all because...what...he loved her.

"I can't stand it another minute. Everything reminds me of her."

He took a deep breath. "Her presence fills every room, accept my bedroom. The one room I was hoping that one day she would."

Unable to wonder through his house without reminders of her, of the good times,  
the couch-holding the memory of; holding hands when his mother did her play about his life,  
the bar in the kitchen- held onto her sitting at the bar eating with with the family one morning after saving his life  
the kitchen- held onto the day that she was cooking for him when she stayed over after the bombing destroys her apartment he thought that she might stay forever then. he wanted her too.  
the memories always lingered on but more so now.

The house...his house it felt lifeless and cold as his footsteps echoed on the hard wood floor.

He threw a bottle across the room hitting a lamp, shattering both on impact. "What was that?" Martha yells from her room.  
"Sorry, I dropped something nothing to worry about."

The scent of the bottle rose towards him. Cherries. "I got to get out of here." Castle gets up, grabs his cell phone, why he doesn't know, and leaves. Not like anyone's ever going to call him again.

Beckett's apartment

Lanie watches over Beckett who had curled herself up on the couch, still crying as she retells the story to Lanie. Beckett for the first time was telling her everything. Some Lanie already guessed but other things she had no clue about. Beckett was holding nothing back, it was time to tell her friend everything.

Lanie was shocked in what her friend was telling her, she had no idea how deeply in love with Castle she really was and how his books got her through her mother's death. N_o wonder she was acting the way that she did then and now._

"Why didn't you go after him?" Lanie questions. _That's the first thing I would have done. No questions asks_.

"What?"

"The man's in love with you he would do anything…"

"But,"

"No buts girl…he's trying to protect you can't you see that, that tells me a lot about who he is.."

"Who he is? He's trying to control me."

"No he's not," Lanie shook her head, _if she doesn't see that now, she never will. she sighs softly. how do I get her to see that before it's to late for them_. "There's a difference and you know there is, I've see how others treat you,"

Beckett rolled her eyes at Lanie, she did know. Lanie had been with Beckett through all her boyfriends. She was the one that Beckett went to when things didn't work. Oh the hours of 'girl talk' they went through. Beckett took comfort in that, but this it seemed different. Was she really going to get over Castle, like she did the others or were they all right, that he held her heart a little too much. Was he the one that would hold it forever?

"Look I'm just saying…" Lanie went on glancing over at Beckett, who she thought was in her own little world the way she had that staring look. "You just can't…"

Beckett shook her head. "I…"

"If it was me I would have gone after him."

"He…."

"He opened up your past…sure,"

"The one thing that I told him not to do." Beckett wiped the tears that once again began to fall.

"I know girl and he shouldn't have but…"

She glanced at Lanie "but…but nothing. He should have respected me."

"He was trying to help,"

"Help," she practicality yelled "by….what? cutting me open…."

"Well maybe that but no by taking a risk…" Lanie stood up.

"What? Where are you going? Lanie." Beckett looks around, finally she saw her standing next to the window. Staring out. She could hear her best friend sniffling "for once follow your heart."

"But what if…"

"No what if's…" she faces Beckett, the look in Lanie's eyes told Beckett that she had experiences in that. Beckett would have to ask her about that some day. Maybe even later today. "If you don't, you will wonder for the rest of you life…" Beckett sat back on the couch, with a deep sigh. "He's following his heart at whatever the cost…and you."

"I…." Beckett sighs,_ she's right. I'm giving up, that's not like me. I'm a fighter_. Beckett grabs her friend in another hug, "I can't go through this again." She whispers.

"It's not the same." Lanie could feel Beckett's tears soaking through the material on her shoulder. "I wont…"

"We wont..."

**to be continued...**


	4. Ch 4-my big mouth

**The parts that are "bold" are from the show episode. (since I have no idea, who translated it from the show, I want to thank any of the translators (is that what you call them?) for their great work!) I added those just to show were in the episode my story, say 'fits'.**

**Chapter four is up! Hope everyone enjoys this story, this is how I saw it (never seen season 4-well when this was written-, but last night 1/20 saw some. was watching football too.) This story took on a life of its own, so just be patient with it. winks...**

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**Take a chance on me  
by BeCastle**

**chapter 4-my big mouth**

Last man standing, a bar :

Unsteady on his feet already Castle opens the door to the frist bar he comes to. "The last man standing," that would be me. Castle jokes to himself as he walks in.

Two men eye Castle suspiciously as soon as he passes their booth heading to the long bar in the front.

"That's him," one man points to a photo of a smiling Castle with a gloved finger. "That's the man. That's Richard Castle."

"Are you sure," the frist man nods,

"In the flesh and he looks..."

The younger of the two men snorts, "All right." and gets up and follows Castle. The man's leather boots echoing on the floor. He pats Castle on the back before taking a seat on another stool at the bar. Castle doesn't even flinch.

"You look like a man who was just dumped."

"Oh, let me tell you." Castle starts talking as he turns to see the man who is siting next to him.

"Drink, sir." The bartender asks eyeing the new man at the bar.

"Sure something to ease my friend's pain," The man pats Castle on the shoulder again. The bartender leaves to fill the drinks. Castle continues to tell this stranger everything about his day.

"Two house specials." the bartender places them down and leaves the two men talking. Castle talks about Detective Beckett and what happened between them. Even about him trying to protect her and what she told him. Castle as we went on and on not knowing that his big mouth would get him into bigger trouble. "Keep them coming," Castle calls not realizing what was really happening.

"So she just left you like that,"

"Yeah," Castle takes another gulp of his drink. "I had to break it off with her. I didn't want to."

_Cause I loved her too much. maybe that was my problem to much love but how can one be loved to much...I never...oh well. I never felt that way before with...it's...more than...I can't...how am I going to move on without her...I didn't know loving someone could hurt so bad. I'm never... _

"But things," Castle continues to talk to his new friend, Okay just the man that was sitting next to him but still. "I don't think they will ever be right again between us."

"Maybe they weren't to start off with. I mean it seems like that the two of you come from different ways of life. Am I right?"

"I hear that...but I just thought. That she was the one for me, the one that would finally ground me. Make me..."

"Who you are." the man laughs. "Or a better man." Castle smiles, _that she has...I'm better man because of her. Because of Beckett._..

Castle looks at his drink then at the clock on the wall. "Is that what time it is?" he basically hollered.

"Yeah why?" the bartender responds.

"I'm meeting with the movers tomorrow," he shook his head, "I mean today. I got to go."

"Let me call you a cab," the bartender tries to take Castle's half full glass. Castle pulls it back and drinks the rest in one gulp. He tries to stand and sways some. "Yes, I think a taxi would be good."

The man at the bar is on the phone, he puts his gloved hand up so Castle can't hear. Whispers, "With Castle, well let's just say no more of a problem, Beckett is ours. Let's move in. Go, go, go."

**CEMETERY - (early) MORNING Beckett twirls her mother's ring on her necklace. She's come to the cemetery to visit her mother's grave. It's quiet, Beckett has to brush away her tears as she stands looking for some sort of answer.**

A couple of answers actually. She stares deep in thought. (The grave reads "Johanna Beckett. February 4th 1951- January 9th 1999")

"Help me what am I supposed to do? Is Castle right? If I continue, will I end up here, next to you?" she sighs, "but on the other hand if I don't go after these people I'll never know. The one thing that I want to do is...find the bastard that did this. I know that it will not bring you back," she sniffs. "But it will give me peace and then I can..." tears flood her eyes. "what if I'm to late for that. What if it's too late for me to love again." She feels her heart break more. An image of her at her mother's funeral. "Will I ever know..." She swallows. "What have I done? Mom," she kneels in the grass and hugs her mother's grave. "I need you. Castle's right I can't do this alone." She sniffs. "But right now, I have to be strong. I have to do it for the two of you. I have to do it for the people who I love."

**INT TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN**

**BECKETT walks through on a mission. She joins RYAN and ESPOSITO in the workroom.**

**RYAN: Where's Castle?**

**BECKETT: He's off the team. She drops a folder on the table and RYAN and ESPOSITO share a look over her lack of information about Castle.**

**BECKETT: So what do we got?**

Castle's loft:

A knock..more like a loud bang on the door woke Castle, who drifted off to sleep, on the couch. He rolls onto the floor. _damn. I forgot_...  
Castle opens the door, fake smiling.

"You call Rick," Some of his buddies that he knew stood there, just staring at him.  
Castle pointed over his shoulder, "Start in there."

"You heard the man," he pats Castle on the shoulder as he and his friends enter into the loft. "Let's go boys, we have a lot of work to do today. We have to get everything packed up."

"Except the 2 bedrooms that my daughter and my mother are using."

"You look like a bus ran over you Rick what's going on? Why are you moving and where?"

"Just away from here." Castle ran his hands through his hair trying to comb it. Usually it stayed in place but for some reason today it didn't.

"Oh it's about...that girl that you been following...that detective woman. I told you that she was trouble, Rick." Castle turns his head some. "But you're doing the right thing."

"Richard, darling I heard a knock on the door..it's ..."- Martha noticing all the noise of tape going across the boxes. "What's going on dear?" Castle walks off from his mother and goes to the window.

"I can't do it anymore mother."

"Do what?" she questions following her son.

"Stay here."

"Does this happen to do with your fight with Beckett?"

"Don't use that name around me...ever again!" he yells some.

"Kiddo don't make a rash decision..." Martha staring around the room as men packed his stuff up. She couldn't understand all that was going on.

"I just can't do it." he faces her. "I tried, she's the one thing...that I failed at."

"Richard she's not a thing, she's a person with feelings."

"Feelings,!? What about me?" Martha could see the pain in his eyes. _What happened to them yesterday, everything was going so good that morning. He was so happy that she called and now this._

"You?"

"Well so am I, she knew all along that I loved her and..." Castle turns back to the window. Martha stands there quiet, hoping that he would continue to let it all out.

"And what?" she heard him sniff.

"I told her I loved her when she...I thought she was dying...when I witness her life slipping from mine." His mother walks up behind him, not sure if she should touch him or not.

"I know dear, I remember that day...painful as it was."

"She told me later that she didn't remember it and that somethings just didn't need to remembered." he swallows. "But when she talked to a suspect almost a year later she says that she remembers everything even...the last words I said to her."

"Oh honey," She embraced her son, "I didn't know, that's what you two were fighting about yesterday. I'm...she hurt you."

"We both did," he moves away from her and swallows. "I put my heart out there for the second time and she crushed it."

"Give it time dear."

"I did. I thought..." a pause, "I thought our relationship meant something to her but..."

"You know, in your heart that it did, just cause you..."

"It's over mother, I'm through with her and this place and this." He threw the latest Nikki Heat manuscript, that wasn't finished, in a box but it missed at hit the floor. No one noticed it behind the desk. "That," he shook his head and sighs "That box too."

"So your just going to walk away from her. Walk away from everything." Martha was shock at his decision but respected him. _something else happened between the two of you but what?_

"Yes, I'm." he watches them seal up the last box in his office. "I just need to get away! You can come if you want to."

"You don't have to say any more."

She hugged him. She felt his pain but didn't really understand why he would just leave her like that. Besides having Alexis, Kate Beckett was the best thing that had happened in her son's life. And now he was just going to throw it all away. _There's more to this story._ Martha thought. So m_uch more._

**to be continued...**

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**more to come soon. winks.**


	5. Ch 5- Calling my name

**The parts that are "bold" are from the show episode. (since I have no idea, who translated it from the show, I want to thank any of the translators (is that what you call them?) for their great work!) I added those just to show were in the episode my story, say 'fits'. **

**chapter 5 is up! yeah. clap your hands...now on to the chapter. hope someone finds it entertaining. I know I did when I wrote it, but then again I cried too. I wrote this like this, cause I really thought I saw something in my house the other day. Calling it a "ghost", a shadow or my imagination going wild. I don't know. It got me thinking...and well this is why I wrote something like it in my story. Anyway, hope you like my spin on this episode. **

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**Take a chance on me  
by BeCastle**

**chapter 5- calling his name**

**TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN  
RYAN: Wait, Javier! (ESPOSITO turns back, annoyed) Man, don't let her do this. It's too big of a risk.  
ESPOSITO studies him.  
ESPOSITO: It's all good, bro. We got this.  
He leaves and RYAN is left alone with his bad feeling.**

Castle's loft:

Castle's phone, in his pocket rings. He pulls it out to look. It's a call from the precinct. He takes a second, then silences the ringer.

"Your not going to answer it?" his mother asks him, looking at him suspiciously.

"No," he shakes his head.

"Was it Beckett?" Castle gave his mother the death glare when she mentioned that name again. "Sorry I..."

"No, mother it wasn't." He slid the phone back into his pocket and went back to the window.  
There was nothing that she could do for him but let him be.

**TWELFTH PRECINCT WORK ROOM  
RYAN hangs up the phone and sighs.**

"Castle where are you? We... she needs you. what the hell happened between you two or do I want to know."  
Ryan did the only thing that he knew to do. "Sorry girl someone's got to save you life. It should be you Castle."

Castle's loft:

Castle sits on the couch with his head back against the cushions as his mother and Alexis run around trying to get everything ready for her graduation that afternoon. He breathes in deeply, then for some odd reasons he smells 'her scent'. A cherry smell. He breathes in deeply absorbing the smell that always sent his mind crazy. He shook the thought as he looks at the floor where he threw a bottle at the lamp the night before.

Everything reminds me of her. He balls up his hands and then the pain comes back. He straightens his hands quickly. "I another thing I forgot. But I can't get her out of my head. Those cherry smells, that send me into a sugar high, when does it end. _Or do I want it to end...I mean..._The flashback to the frist time that he smelled the cherries on her, they were so close..._I was so close to...he closed his eyes, he wanted to see that face again at that moment of time. I just wanted to taste her then, to kiss her...lips...just once..._he shook the thought. _That's never going to happen now, not a real kiss, a real breathtaking kiss..._He opens his eyes_, "_I got get out of here, as soon as I leave, it will get better."

**ROSSLYN HOTEL ROOF**

**Beckett takes a run at Maddox but he uses her momentum against her. He flings her away past him, toward the edge of the roof. She rolls a few times, rolling over the edge. She manages to grab on before she falls, but she's hanging off the side of the building.**

**BECKETT: Help! Help!  
BECKETT tries to find footing so she's not supporting herself with her arms but there is none. MADDOX comes to the side of the building and looks down at her.  
MADDOX: "Actually, we know exactly who we re up against." He looks up for a minute, then walks away. He has left her dangling off the side of the building.**

**EXT ROSSLYN HOTEL ROOF  
BECKETT: Help!  
It's hard to hold on to the ledge, but she manages.  
BECKETT: Oh, oh God. No! Not like this. C mon.  
She searches for something, anything, to help her even out her weight and hoist herself back over the ledge and onto the roof.  
BECKETT: C mon, no!  
She's fighting, but it's getting harder and harder to stay calm and keep fighting. Slowly she comes to terms with her situation and glances down. She's at least 10 stories up and it looks like there's nothing she can do.**

Castle's loft

Castle feels a shiver between his shoulder blades and turns around nothing, why...he feels cool air on the back of his neck. He twirls around again. He nearly jumps when he sees her. Hands out stretched, eyes full of fear. He blinks and she is gone. He shook the thought, _It was nothing my mind is playing tricks with me, just effects of last night...means nothing._

**BECKETT : (whispered) Castle.  
One hand slips free from the ledge and the other slides closer to the edge. It looks like this is it.**

**CASTLE: Beckett?  
It sounds like him far away, but it gives her something to hold on for.**

**BECKETT: Castle!**

**CASTLE: Beckett?**

**BECKETT: Castle, I'm here! (her hand slides closer to the edge and she can't stop it) No! Oh, God. Castle!**

**CASTLE: Beckett, hang on!  
She's down to fingertips. She can't.**

**BECKETT: Castle!  
Her hand slips free and she starts to fall.**

**RYAN: Beckett!  
He grabs her hand, stopping her fall. It takes him and 3 other officers to pull her back up and over the edge. When she's up, she looks at RYAN.**

**BECKETT: Castle?  
He shakes his head and she's hurt, but she's back to trying to catch her breath.**

Castle's loft

"Who are you talking to?" His mother asks from the stairs. He couldn't answer cause he didn't know.

"I...I...uh..." He shook his head, "I guess myself." He didn't tell her about seeing Beckett's ghost. He didn't even know what that was, she wasn't dead...was she? _what if...what if I let her die..._He didn't have time to cry right now, but what if it was true? He had to get to a graduation that he promised that he would be at. He really just wanted to be alone.

"Come on mother. We don't want to miss her speech." He whispers to himself, "Or the entire graduation for that matter."

"Coming," Martha comes down the steps. "Richard, are you crying?"

"A little..." _but not why you think._ _what if I did let her die...I would never forgive myself..._

**To be continued...**

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**I know that I left you guys hanging with this one...but please continue to read the rest when it comes up. and please send in comments, I love to read them.**


	6. Ch 6-my tears are fallen

**Chapter 6 is here to save the day (or night).**

**The parts that are "bold" are from the show episode. (since I have no idea, who translated it from the show, I want to thank any of the translators (is that what you call them?) for their great work!) I added those just to show were in the episode my story, say 'fits'. **

**Anyway here is chapter 6...**

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**Take a chance on me  
by BeCastle**

**chapter 6- my tears are fallen**

**INT AUDITORIUM**

**ALEXIS is graduating. CASTLE and MARTHA have made it for her speech.  
ALEXIS: There's a universal truth that we have to face, whether we want to or not. Everything eventually ends. As much as I've looked forward to this day, I've always disliked endings.**

**INT TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN**

**BECKETT is packing her bag. She's including her desk. She makes no secret that she's not coming back as she packs the knickknacks from her desk, including the elephants.**

**ALEXIS (voiceover):**  
**The end of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable.**

**BECKETT starts to walk away. She stops a few feet from her desk, turning back to give one last look to it and the chair beside it. After a second she walks away.**

**ESPOSITO watches her go, headed for the elevator before walking to his own desk and grabbing his jacket.**

**RYAN: Javi? I had to.**

**EPSOSITO doesn't look at RYAN. He doesn't even acknowledge his presence before he walks away.**

**ALEXIS (voiceover):**  
**Leaves fall, we close the book, you say goodbye.**

**RYAN watches ESPOSITO go, throwing a book across the bullpen in his anger.**

**BECKETT enters the elevator and stands against the side.**

**INT AUDITORIUM**

**ALEXIS: Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar. Everything that was comfortable.**

**EXT PLAYGROUND**

**It's raining, but that hasn't stopped BECKETT. She walks to the swings slowly and sits. There's an empty swing next to her that she can't keep her eyes off, can't look away from what's missing.**

**ALEXIS (voiceover):**  
**We're moving on. But just because we're leaving, and that hurts, there are some people who are so much a part of us they'll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground.**

**INT AUDITORIUM**

**ALEXIS: Our north star. And the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us. Always.**

**The audience starts to clap. CASTLE is so proud of his daughter. She gives him a small wave from the podium. He can't erase the pride.**

outside in the playground

The rain continues to pour, Beckett still staring at the empty swing, "what have I done...the one man who can...bring down the walls.." tears flowing down her face are mixed with the rain..."the one man who has been protecting me from it all..." she slides her hands down her face. She starts to have a flashback to the murder investigation about the psychic medium Vivien Marchand, someone who gave, Castle a prediction 8yrs prior to her death about a beautiful woman who is going to walk into his loft and stays forever. _why are those words coming to me, why am I remembering that of all things_. She shook the thought then she remembered, what Vivien's daughter Penny, told her about a dream about she had and that an Alexander was going to save her life...

At that time Beckett didn't believe an any of that psychic blabber. That was until Castle told her that his real middle name was Alexander. Then she thought about it some. All the times that he had saved her life, _more than once that's for sure_, she smiles. _I can count a hundred times._ _Even pulled me from the depths of my soul_. She sighs. Her memory went to what he said about magic, "if you don't believe in even the possibility of magic, you'll never ever find it." _Is that what love is, magic?_

She turns her head up to the sky and lets the rain wash away her tears,_ I...and how did I repay him...I just let him walk away. And what is with it when I was hanging on to dear life all I could think about was him and how..., am I truly in love with him? Was he right about how fate and the universe making things the way they are meant to be? If that was true then why...why all the pain?_ "follow your heart...my dear, it will never lead you wrong."  
"Mom," Beckett turns away for the empty swing, nothing. Beckett closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. The words her friend Lanie came to her, "if you don't you will never know, and that is far worse...then you can imagine."

Castle's loft

He is staring out the window watching the rain fall sees a woman in the rain on the swing that was once was shared by Beckett and him when she returned from being shot. He was mad at her for not calling, maybe pay back from the year before when he didn't call her. But they talked through that. He told her all about how he was still working on her mother's case. She told Castle that she couldn't become the woman that she wanted to be without letting the walls down. They made a packed with each other that they would do that together and that he would do anything for her to get those walls to fall. He sighed, _that's what I was trying to do and you stopped me from that. Why not let me be with you. To help you, that's all I wanted to do...cause I love you and always will._

His daughter sees that he is still upset about the new changes that were coming and wants to comfort him before she goes away. His daughter comes up to where he is standing by the window staring out. She hugs him around the waist, "I'll come home to visit..." she tells him but he doesn't stop staring out the window. He finally blinks.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Alexis said in her worried voice.

"It's because I love you," He grabs her and holds her tight. "I'm gonna miss you sweetie, it's just..."

"Hard I know. Everything's changing."

"Everyone's moving on and nothing's going to be the same without my little girl."

"Dad I know, I'm scared too but home is where we are." She pats him, "Home is where we stay." _Only if she know that I'm leaving home as well. moving on_. Alexis and Martha leave him standing by himself. He tries to put on a smile.

Martha takes Alexis by the arm and moves her away a little.."He's just heartbroken, everyone's leaving him..." she whispers, "Even Beckett."  
now Alexis understood what was going on, Beckett was leaving him too, "but why they were...wait a minute he told her how he felt. How he loved her and she..." Alexis swallows, "They said goodbye." Alexis whispers back to her grandmother. "I didn't know. That's the change that he was talking about not all me. His life too." her grandmother nodded. Alexis felt his pain. She knew how much in love he was with Beckett. She could tell by the way he was acting and that's all he talked about was her. _That's what he meant the other day when he told me that it wasn't about the books, the murders, the adventures...it was all about her. It was always about her. Oh dad. I'm sorry..._

"Are you sure you will be okay." Alexis says in a louder voice as she walks back over to her dad. She hated to leave him when she knew that he needed her to be there with him. To comfort him, in his time of need.

"Yes, pumpkin..." he sniffs, "Have a good time." He looks down at her, "I have all kinds of things to keep me busy. I'll be fine."

Alexis mind_: yeah, right I don't believe that for a minute. But..._

"Well, we better get going." Martha interrupted her thoughts.

"I love you dad." she hugs him one last time before she and Martha leave. "If you need us...me call."

Castle nods at his daughter. He stares back out the window. He could hear the door close. He sighs and was about to turn away from the window when his phone rings. The caller ID says Kate Beckett under her smiling face that lights up his phone's screen. He rejects the call.

_I never want to talk to you again Beckett, so stop calling me_. He pulls his hand back to throw the phone across the room but thinks better of it. Instead he turns and tosses it on the desk, then turns on his touch screen with Beckett's conspiracy file. He moves the file to the trash. He sighs heavily._ I don't want any of this stuff. I don't want anything that reminds me of her._

Thunder rolls as there's a knock at the door.

**to be continued...**

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**Sorry to leave you hanging, please read the story in order of the chapters. Anyway hope you like it so far. Thanks for all the comments winks. Other chapters will also have "hanging" parts, that's what makes them great! Chapter 7 is coming soon, so smile (or cry somemore)-I know that I did. I felt their pain.**


	7. Ch 7- one last kiss

**sorry to leave you guys hanging on the last chapter but...that's me. I trying to put two chapters up a week. Please read them in order. I thought that this story was to be a short one, say 10 chapters at the most and well, let's just say that number has doubled at least. I have finished most of it but rereading just to make sure that it flows correctly. you know dotting all i's and crossing all t's. Anyway hope you like this chapter, wink. **

**Thanks for all the reviews. Good to know that someone (out there) likes it.**

**I wasn't happy with the way the show was so I wrote my version. I did finally see this episode, to me the transcript that I read were better. Anyway here is chapter 7. smiles.**

**The parts that are "bold" are from the show episode. (since I have no idea, who translated it from the show, I want to thanks to all of the translators (is that what you call them?) for their great work!) I added those just to show were in the episode my story, say 'fits'. **

**The in between lines are what I added to it. Mostly what Castle is thinking while this is going on. Remember he is still heart broken. Poor guy. But so is Beckett so, I guess it's fair play. **

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**Take a chance on me  
by BeCastle**

**chapter 7- one last kiss**

Castle hesitates looking at the door, he is in no mood for anyone right now. There is another knock. _I guess that I better get this over with_. another knock this one louder. "I'm coming already." he shouts. _Who could be coming by..._he sighs,_ how come everyone just can't leave me alone, right now. I want to..._

**Castle **swings** open the door **with force** to find a soaking wet BECKETT. There's no joy on his face. Neither say anything.  
**

**CASTLE: Beckett, what **the hell** do you want?  
BECKETT: You.**

_What? _he thinks._ did I just hear her right? I mean...or am I hearing what my heart wants to hear from her...all along. _He blinks the thought away._ But what if I don't want to? _he sighs_. I just..._

**She doesn't hesitate to push her way into his loft. She's reaching for his face and he takes a few steps back, **_I don't know if this is something that I want to be doing but on the other hand..._**. she catches him and kisses him. He's surprised and doesn't know how to respond. **_I...just go with it...you know this is what you wanted as well..._

**She breaks their kiss and leans her forehead on his.**

**BECKETT (whispered): I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry. (she breathes him in for a moment) I'm so sorry.** **She kisses him again until he pushes her back. She's surprised but says nothing, searching his face. He's not looking at her until suddenly he does. **_if this is how it has to be then so it does._

**CASTLE: What happened? **_what changed her mind to come back here, something happened...I wonder..._

**BECKETT: He, **the man that shot me** got away and I didn't care. **_well, I did but I..._ **(she pauses) I almost died and all I could think about was you. **_I was calling out to you and ..._** (low) I just want you. **_and nothing else, I just hope...that you still love me..._

"I...always did...I just," she breaths heavily. "I never realized how much till..." she swallows, "till now." She smiles.

**She moves in again for another kiss. He's still and she senses his hesitation but she doesn't move back. A second later she's pressed back against the door and he's kissing her. It's not exactly sweet, it's like they can't get enough of one another. **_now that she's broken the ice, I don't think that I want to stop._ _I just...he swallows...it's...the way that it has to be...Not the way I wanted but...I can't complain...if she wants...how can I deny her...how can I deny myself the one thing that I've "always" wanted...since day one._

**He continues to kiss her face, her neck, and his hands are all over, holding him to her.**

**He kisses his way down her chest until he reaches the neck of her shirt. He stops and looks at her skin reverently before he unbuttoned the top button to reveal the scar from her bullet wound. She grabs his hand and presses his fingers against the scar, reaching up to cup his face for a sweet kiss. They kiss slowly, sweetly, for a minute before they part. Their faces are still close together and she smiles. Her hand runs down his arm, **sending him into overdrive...wanted her right then and there, **to meet his free hand and she claps their hands together, moving to the side and slipping past him. He follows her movements and head toward the bedroom.**

Oh how he wants this, he takes a deep breath. Taking in her intoxicating scent of those cherries. Giving him once again that sugar high, the one that he came to know. The one that made him want her more and more. Then he stops himself shaking off the feeling. She stops then looks at him. The look in his eyes tells her that something is wrong.

"What?" she asks him, "What is it?" she had never seen his expression so...so what blank. _What changed in the last second...Is it something that I..._

"I..." Castle tries to think of the right words to say but the ones in his mind where making no sense, even to him. _look what she does to me, I just..._he sighs knowing that he has to do this.

"This is what we...I want..." with her hand still in his she starts to rub his fingers. "you," she stares into his eyes, "I thought..."

"I just..." he swallows, lowering his head some.

He closes his eyes, hot tears force their way down his face. _I...what do I do? Follow your heart, what does it say to you? What does it say about you?_

"Yes, come..." she tries to pull him forward towards the bed only inches away from where they are standing.

He doesn't move. They glance at each other, holding the stare. He blinks to break the trance he has fallen under once again.

"You know that I want this..." He chokes out, then swallows.

"Then what's holding you back, Castle?" she asks in her sweet tone.

"I..." he slides his hand down his face more to focus than anything else. He turns his body away from hers.

"Wait, Castle." he walks out of the room letting his fingers slip away from hers. "I have to go."

_I don't want to, I want to stay. I am just...I can't do this, I have to get away...Why does she do this to me, make me feel...this way._

"What?" she follows him back into the den area. "I don't..." she grabs him gently by the arm to make him stop. He looks back and she sees that he is almost in tears. "What's going on... I thought..."

"I do, I really do." he wiggles free from her grasp. "but ..."

He shakes his head, the one thing that his heart wants to forget about was back. Was this a good thing or a bad thing? He wasn't sure he just knew that his heart was still hurting, still breaking. Could he just forgive her, just like that. Oh he wanted to. He wanted to pick her up in his arms and make love to her all night. He waited for this moment for so long...but now...

The woman on his dreams was right there for the taken all he had to do was reach out to her, just like she okay her ghosts did..._but what if...my heart's not ready. If she's the one for me than I have to be sure._

He stood there, hesitating. Beckett snakes her arms around his waist. He could feel her body heat against him. He reaches down places his hands over hers. The touch, the heat that he so desperately wanted to feel all over his body was burning him, all of him. "Not now Kate..." he swallows not really wanting to let her go but...he unlatches her hands from his waist.

"I have a plane to catch." He walks towards the door, knowing that this might be the last time that he ever sees her. His Nikki Heat. The one that held his heart and broke it too.

"wha?" Then Beckett notices the almost empty loft.

Castle picks up a small bag with his laptop and walks out. Out of the loft and out of her life... again. He had to, to many memories to much for him to handle. _Bye my love..._

She follows, watching him, hoping that this was some kind of nightmare. Then he turns back to face her, she sees that look in his eyes that determined look. She thinks he has had a change of heart and that he was coming back to her. He comes closer, _yes come closer so I can hold you again and never let you go. Castle I...I love you._ The words were on her tongue, all she had do was say it.

"Oh, um...Shut the door when you leave." he says walking away.

**to be continued...**

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**see another "hanging" part. I hope that people don't hate me for this chapter...I know that it's sad but it gets better...anyway keep the reviews coming. This is not the final chapter there is more, lots more...**


	8. Ch 8- Oh my Heat

**Chapter 8 (is here)****, so you can celebrate but don't stay up to late...(reading it). anyways...hope you enjoy. someone asked if I would write longer chapters these are not those, so I put up three chapters. The bold things are what is written on paper. **

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**Take a chance on me  
by BeCastle**

**chapter 8-oh my heat**

Castle's loft

The blood drained from Beckett's head so suddenly. She went dizzy. One minute he was there and then the next he was gone. She didn't understand that. She barely made it back inside his loft, before she collapses. Beckett still in shock makes her way to the edge of Castle's desk, where she leans to balance herself. The news that Castle would just get up and leave everything was too much for her.

"What did I do I..." a tear slides down her face as she realizes that because of her earlier actions he was leaving everything...his family...his home...everything that he cared about and it was all her fault. "It is my fault...I" she looks over at the door way. "Castle I'm sorry...when am I going to learn just to trust my heart," She swallows. "I just..." she notices a plastic covered paper on the floor, by the desk. "What the?" she goes to pick it up.

**_"oh my heat"_**  
**_by Richard Castle_**

"What? He wrote another Nikki Heat novel? When was this..." she sits in the desk chair. She shoves a strand of wet hair out of her face and starts to read some on it.

**_Things were rocky between the favorite detective and the journalist but that was what made them great together. or so he thought but now he wasn't sure that they would get past this...the one thing that he fear the most. Having to say goodbye. Forever..._**

She shivered not only cause of her still in wet cloths but the way his words echoed in her mind**. **"Forever" She lowered her head and took in a few deep breaths trying to hold her tears back. Something that she learned to do before but now...after meeting Castle is wasn't so easily done.

Is this our life?...I mean it's based on me...is this how it ends?...with us saying goodbye forever...she closes her eyes in remorse, _I caused this,_ she breathes in slowly to calm herself. _All because I didn't...trust._ she sniffs, _and now...I lost..._

She hears what she thinks if footsteps coming. She slides the paper down her shirt. "Castle?"

"No," comes a familiar voice. "It's Gina," she says as she rounds the corner to Castle's former office. "Hey you're detective Nikki Heat."

Beckett smiles, even though she hates being call that. She wanted to be her right now, so that she could change the ending to the story.

"I saw Richard's door open...I was just stopping by to see if he had the newest manuscript. The one that he told me that he was finishing up last night. He told me that this one would be his last book. I didn't believe him." She shook her head. "One. He'd never give up Nikki Heat, that was his baby, she meant to much to him. He even told me that he had ideas to have them, the characters get married. I just laughed that one off. Why would he marry off his characters, who knows, anyway that was something I didn't get. Unless he really was in love." She glances over at Beckett wondering if he was really in love with his muse, more then he knew.

"And two. He never had one done that quick before. In less than two weeks, yeah right, I don't think so but it was worth seeing him again." she smiles. "Any excuse to see him, after what happened last time we got together." Beckett didn't need to know all that. But she couldn't help thinking about why he would have his characters get married if this was supposed to be based on her. Is that how he felt his life was going with her. Did he think of his books as his real life? He had been married before and look what happened to him. _Maybe he hasn't found the right woman before and now he has..._

Gina looks around confused, "Where's all his stuff,?"

"um..." Beckett didn't want to say it cause she herself didn't want to believe it. "He's left."

"What...like for the day, looks more like moved out."

"Yeah," Beckett shook her head trying to remain clam and not let on too much that she was crying over him. "I was just closing up for him."

Gina leaves to another room and is on her phone calling him, "Damn Rick pick your phone,." A few second it seems, Gina comes back in the same room is Beckett. _I thought she left. I just want to be alone, to think of my next move. which is what? I can't just follow him? but why not. what would my character do? Lanie's voice enters her head, __"she would go after him and find out what was really going on. He's in love you for crying out loud." Lanie..._

"I can't get him to answer his phone. Do you happen to know where he took off to?" Gina asks.

"He just left, who knows where," she hated to lie, no she didn't. _If Gina wanted to find Castle then she would have to do the work. I have to get this to him. He may not want her to see it or even know about it, who's to know if Gina is telling me the truth. This is his ex we're talking about and we all know they lie. This was too important for him just to leave out for anyone to find it. although maybe it was...na._ she shook her head.

_I have to find him, where to start?  
__Y__ou are a detective Kate Beckett start where you always do.  
But I'm not. not anymore.  
Come, I'll lead you and this time trust me, _her heart told her.

In the hallway after she closes Castle's door, Beckett got on the phone.

PRECINCT bullpen

"Ryan," he answers his phone on the frist ring.

"Is Gates there?" Ryan looks around, "Beckett it's good to hear from you, no Gates is, who knows where. Why?"

"Will you run a number for me no questions asked?"

"Sure anything, whatever you need." Beckett calls the numbers out to him and Ryan recognizes the number immediately.

"That's..."

"Please just run it...I need a location."

"Sure on it." Ryan waits for the computer to finish finding it. _Castle maybe off the team but he's not out of her heart. He never will be as hard as she tries._ "Is he in trouble," Ryan just had to ask. Castle was his friend too. When there was no answer to his question, he repeated what his screen was telling him. "It's telling me his phone is moving towards..."

"The airport," Beckett finished his sentence. _So she can do that to me too, or did she already know that?_

"Yes, but why?" then there was the click. "Hello?" Ryan shook his head, "she just hung up on me."

"Who did?" Gates questions coming towards him. He quickly changes his screen, "Um...wrong number I guess." He places the phone down and sighs. _What's going on Beckett? Why is Castle going to the airport? What hell happened between you two that would cause that?_ _He thought of the worst thing besides murder, that could have happened. Oh no..._The phone rang again. He swallows before answering, "Ryan,"

"Sorry that I hung up on you I shouldn't have." Beckett's voice, to him was full of guilt. Ryan cups his hand over the phone and whispers to her

"Find him, Beckett." _find him for all of us._

"Bye Ryan,"

Parking lot:

Beckett leans against her car door, not knowing that someone was in the shadows was watching her every move.

"So he really is leaving, but why this late?"

**to be continued...**


	9. Ch 9- Coming

**chapter 9 is up. remember this is just a story that I wrote some of the things I really...what's the right words...um say some of the things the characters might not do but then again makes for good readings, (i think). anyway enjoy the story.**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**

**chapter 9- coming wait for me**

parking lot:

Beckett sighs, slowly opening her car door and slides in the driver's seat. She immediately glances over at the passenger's seat like she always did, this time though there was no smiling face to greet her. She swallows, trying not to cry once again. How can she be so effected by the little things that they shared with each other. How he could affect her when he wasn't even there.

"I could love you without even trying," the words came to her. She turns away from the seat.  
He could love her that easily but he was now leaving her, just like...

"All the other men, who walk into my life but they only thought of my job as less important then their's. They wanting me to give up what  
I wanted in life but Castle..." she blinks "He was different, he didn't want me to change it. He encouraged me actually. He was still willing to work with me to help me, to make me a better person at any cost.

"Any cost..." she sniffed, "even if that meant..." she wiped the tears from her eyes. "risking his own, was Laine right about him?"

"He would take me the way that I was and I..." she sniffed looking back to the passenger's seat where he always sat, smiling at her on her bad days to make her feel better. She didn't have to pretend around him, he had seen it all.

She loved him for that. She love him period. But now...

She had never admitted it to him or even herself that after only a few hours without him she felt as if an important part of her was missing. He filled a void. The void that was in her heart. He had manged to slip through her defences right from the start. But did she need to protect herself anymore? To protect her heart anymore?

He simply wanted her to be part of his life, a bigger apart and she had. To him she was much more. They were both part of each others lives, a little too much. The one question reverberated through her head. Did she want her predictable safe routine or did she want to try something daring. Taking chances that was not her thing, she wanted to be the one that was in control. But now could she change...could she give up some of the control?

_If I don't change a little then..._she didn't want to think about that. She shook her head trying to get rid of those thoughts but it was no use. The turmoil still raged through her, from her head to her toes.

At the red light she glances over at the paper she "steals" from Castle's loft. She picks it up to read some more of his words, the words that always stayed with her.

**_my bed was empty and a gaping hole in my heart_**  
**_as I sat and drank the last of my beer _**  
**_nothing was going to ease my pain  
_****_I decided that it was time _**  
**_time to leave  
time to cut my lose  
_**_**and move on**_  
**_to find a place where my heart can heal._**  
**_with my soul crushed,  
I am leaving behind the footsteps of my old life._**

"Castle wait I'm coming..." She screamed at the light to change so that she could get going again. She was hoping that she would get there to stop him in time.

She got to the airport, hoping that she wouldn't be to late...she couldn't...she just couldn't. Not seeing him anywhere she runs up to the ticket window skipping the lines of people.

"Detective Kate Beckett," she shows her old id since she 'threw' the other one at Gates when she quiet her job.

"That plane's...on the runway, you just can't go out there."

"Police business, I need to stop that plane." It really wasn't police business but... they didn't need to know that.

She was stopped by airport security.

"You don't understand I have to get on that plane." she was waving her hands about. But nothing was working. She had no idea where he was going just that he was on that plane and she needed to be with him.

"Sorry ma'am. "

"This is police..."

"Kate?" she twirls around to see...Will Sorenson. A friend, a boyfriend, that she didn't want to see again, from the FBI.

"Will, I need to get on that plane." She begs thinking that he would be the one that would get her on that plane.

"No what you need is a change of cloths, you're all wet." He takes her by the hand and drags her into a hug. He places his newly taken off jacket around her. "That should work for now."

"I'll take it from here." He smiles at the other officers, who were coming up to them.

"My stuff..."

"Kate stuff can be replaced..." _not this kind of stuff._

"You don't understand it's not like that. it's..." She swallows missing her one chance. She watches the plane take off with out her. She struggles to get out of Sorenson's arms.

"Kate wait I didn't mean..."

"You should have let me get on that plane." She yells as she walks away from him. What she really wanted to do was slap him and hard.

"What was so important that was on that plane...the only thing that I can think of, it has to be...oh no..." He shook his head. _Not that. _He walks in front of her, "not a man. And definitely not that writer guy. You wouldn't risk that. Or would you."

"It has nothing to do with him, now just go." Her body language was telling him, that she was upset, more then upset. More like a woman that had been scorned, _no they didn't. she wouldn't..."_Kate look at me." when she didn't, he places his hand under her chin forcing her to. "I didn't mean..." he pulls her into another hug. "Kate I missed you."

"I..." she didn't need this right now, to see the man that she once thought might have stayed in her life. He wanted her to leave her job in New York and join him but she refused to.

"All security, inside we have a situation with the crowds." Came a voice over a loud-speaker.  
Both Will and Kate, being cops race inside to see what kind. Beckett stands there watching as the crowd is now becoming unruly. Like they were a crowd at a concert or something, waiting for someone to show up. "This is not a real emergency, I wouldn't think." She takes a seat down staring at the crowd watching, waiting for what, she didn't know. "I'm too late, I..." tears started up again. "Now I'll never know."

**to be continued...**


	10. Ch 10- Second chances

**chapter 10 is now up! cheers. Hope you all enjoy this one. Tell me what you think, more coming soon. Life kind of gets in the way. Also if you see anything wrong with it let me know, I did use a spell check but you know how that goes...anyway on to the chapter.**

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**Take a chance on me  
by BeCastle**

**chapter 10-second chances**

inside airport:

"What could I have done differently, I just...how could have I just let him walk away from me, now he thinks...what does he think? I mean what really is going through his head right now, does he think that I'm giving up on him...us, wait there was never a us...but there could have been...I mean if I just...what am I doing here? I..."

Beckett turns her head and thinks that she recognizes a man with a gun just standing there in the shadows just out of sight._ na, it can't be._ She blinks then tries to focus but the shadow is gone. _Kate, no one is following you, well the FBI was, no they just happen to be here but that was kind of strange, did Ryan? If he did, I would have to kill him._ Just then the crowd starts cheering and shouting...

The crowd starts chanting Rick Castle's name.

"What?" she looks up just in time to see flashes going off.

"Over here Rick," a flash.

"What's going on..." more flashes going off. She then saw the lines split and Rick Castle smiling, in black pants, red shirt and sunglasses as he walks through the crowd.

His phone jingles, "one second folks," pulls out his phone snapping it open.  
"Rick Castle here," his smiling face changes to a frown. "what the hell do you want?"

"Where the hell are you?" Gina questions through the phone. She can hear all the people chanting, "What's gong on?"

"That's none of your, damn business," he whispers in the phone.

"I'm your publisher."

"Not any...this is not a good time, I need to go sign some more books." He was about to hang up on her, when she said that detective Nikki Heat was still in his loft when she stop by earlier.

"What, why were you there?"

"The manuscript." Oh he had forgot all about that, and it wasn't finished anyway. He didn't want to think about that right now. Right now he wanted to do the only other thing that he liked to do.

"Oh that thing's packed away somewhere." he swallows, "Did she tell you where I was?"

"Who Detective hottie? No she didn't know or she says that anyway. Kind of hard to believe that though, with how close you to come with each other. I mean Rick come on, she's not you type and you know it. She won't make you happy."

That's when he had enough, he hangs up on her and more flashes go off, blinding him even through his sunglasses. _Beckett does make me happy well, she use to... _he sighed_, she still can if you let her._

Will sees Beckett sitting waiting. _What is she doing here? What is she waiting for?_ He walks up to her.

Castle strips off his sunglasses and stares streight at the crowd. He loves all the attention, but his plan was not working at all. All that he could think about was...her...was he making the biggest mistake of his life by just walking away. He lowers his head. _What am I doing here..._He sighs,

_flashback?_

_for my fans..._He smiles to the crowd again._ I just wish that she was here to see me...to hold me...to kiss me._

He reaches up to touch his face. He could still feel her touch on his face, like he was burned. He thinks that he saw her..._that ghost again. _He shook his head._ J__ust ignore it, walk to the plane and never turn around but what if..._  
He takes one more look to to make sure he wasn't seeing things. All he sees a cop talking to this woman he thinks is Beckett, holding her hand. _not a ghost just my imagination working overtime._

Will is holding Beckett's hand, "I'll drive you home," but then he get's called away. "Wait for me, you promise," Beckett just smiles that was good enough for him.

Castle stands there for another few moments, Staring, hoping..._Kate I guess this is goodbye forever. I still do love you._ Castle waves to the crowd as he steps through the door and out off sight.

As soon as Beckett sees him leave, she goes to the window and watches as Castle boards the plane. Tears flood her eyes, _not this time._

_This is my second chance, nothing is going to screw it up._ She was going to follow the one that she truely loved along.  
"How am I?" she left her eyebrows, "Same way as before." she flashes her id badge again, this time without any problems. No one was there to stop her. She goes right on through and boards the plane. She doesn't know where she's going but she doesn't care she just wants to follow him where that might lead. She was tired of running away. She takes a seat in the back.

The plane starts to fill up, most people look like business, working people, easy enough for her to blend in with. No one would know that she didn't belong here. After seeing her target get seated, she steps closer and closer moving in for the kill.

**to be continued...**


	11. Ch 11- Do you see me?

**Chapter 11 is now up. Remember this is just a story that I made up, could this really happen, I don't know? anyway, Hope you enjoy this one. I did spell check ect...but I'm not an expert in English/grammar (that was my worst subject in school and still, till this day is) so if something is wrong just try to ignore it. (now if you see something that say destroys the meaning , please say something-I will not be offended). also, I like to hear what people think of the story. I would have posted a few days ago but my internet was sketchy at best. Now on to chapter 11, chapter 12 will also be posted soon.**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**

**Chapter 11- Do you see me?**

Inside airport:

"Kate?" Will looks around when the crowd settles back down some. "Where did she get to. Damn," he balls up his hands in frustration. "Don't tell me that she went after, that guy, damn. Damn you Castle,"

Will grabs his phone, "yes, now." and then hangs up. "Two can play this game."

Kate sighs, _what do I tell him when I...I mean he just walked out without caring, is this the right thing to do, going after him. I mean what if he really doesn't want to see me anymore. I...I don't think that I can take another rejection from him_. _Should I just leave and..._she sits back in the padded blue seat. _Where the hell am I going?_ She was about to leave when she notices the that flight attendant was stopping at all the seat, _A check list...oh no..._

The flight attendant checks the list of people to be on the plane. "Rick Castle,"

"Trixie? I uh..." When seeing her in that uniform he loves so much he couldn't help but stare.

"Good to see you again." she winks as she pats him on the shoulder. She bends down, "if you get lonely, call me." She writes her number on the top of the sheet of paper he had in his hand.

She stops at Beckett. Beckett swallows she hoping not that she didn't get caught. The last thing that she needs is to get thrown off this plane and then what. Gets arrested from the FBI and with her well, quieting her job, that wasn't good. She breathes in deeply thinking of a lie to tell the flight attendant. _How am I? I'm not that good at lying, but wait, I've done it before_.

The man next to her saw her in the airport and knew that she wasn't suppose to be on this flight.

"My wife, Daniella Carter." he said and Trixie bought it, walking back up the aisle, after checking them off her list.

"Thanks," Beckett whispers.

"I saw you at the airport, trying to get on earlier flight. So was I, trying to follow my son..." he held out his hand. "Us marshal, Jay Carter by the way."

"Detective Kate Beckett," she shakes his.

"A detective, um...what do I have the pleasure of sitting by you?"

"New York, Homicide,"

"Where's the body?" Jay asks trying to be serious as he looks at all the people in their seats.

"Not one yet." she jokes as she stares down the aisle. "Hopefully there won't any."

"I hope not too." he swallows.

Just knowing that Castle was safely on the plane was enough for her for now. Even though she was only three seats behind him, she wanted to get closer. To see what he was typing on his computer, like it was any of her business.

_When has that stopped you. _Her inner voice said,_ He's always into your stuff, now it's your turn to get __into __his.  
But how do I get closer without getting caught. um..._

"I want a window seat," another passenger was complaining as he made his way towards the back.

"Sorry sir, we only have so many." the flight attendant calls in response, "unless..."

"Here take mine," Castle offers, "It doesn't matter, I'll sit farther back." Beckett swallows and turns to face the window as the men switch places.

_I did get what I wanted but..._  
_you will be fine and who cares if he does see you...that's what you want isn't it?_  
_I just...  
say it...you're only talking to me you know...no one else can hear you..._

Castle now sitting right in front of her, plugs in his ear plugs and reopens his lap top. He was thinking that they were almost ready to take off and he would get to be alone, just him and his thoughts.

The US marshal gets a call and walks up the aisle, leaving Beckett alone. _Now I can see what he's up to._ Beckett leans forward, she smiles seeing that he still has a picture of her and him on his computer. _I thought he..._

He starts to type some, then slides his hand down his face shaking his head. Castle gets the feeling that someone watching him, so he turns around. Beckett ducks just in time. Castle just shakes his head turning back around. _I'm just paranoid there's no one there._ He goes back to typing.

_That was close_ Beckett thinks, _now how am I?_ She sees that the man that's next to Castle has a wig in his bag, that he, is going through. The man places the bag in his seat as he gets up.

"Sorry sir," Beckett has to duck again when Castle lets the man out. _Only if I can reach._ Beckett slowly reaches for the bag, lifts it and pulls it over the top of the seat. This time Castle continues to type, not paying attention to anything. _Must have had some major ideas for him not to look again._ Beckett goes through the bag finding some dry cloths to go with the wig. _Must be an actor. Now to change cloths._ She changes into dry cloths and puts the wig on just in time to see Will Sorenson enter the plane. _Great just what I need another confrontation with him. Why can't he just drop it? And why would he care if I'm...what am I really doing anyway? Am I casing something that may never be?_

She holds her breath as Will looks straight at her and Castle. "Nope, she's not here. Castle is, no Beckett." He relays in his walkie. _Damn Kate where are you, I know you are here somewhere. I just know._

"Beckett?" _Did I just hear that guy right or was this another one of my imagination thoughts_ ...I_ better check just in case but then again I was wrong earlier, oh what the heck, it couldn't hurt. _Castle looks up taking his ear plus out of his ear to better hear what was going on.

"Castle, have you see Beckett?" Will asks as calm as he could, he hated Castle. He thought the guy was a spoiled son of...He couldn't let his anger for the guy get in his way of finding Beckett, not now.

"Not since," Castle lets out a deep sigh, "Not since I left her in my loft."

"What?" Will questions confused about what he was talking about. _what was she doing at his loft and what was he...no they didn't. Did they? if they were then why was he leaving..._more anger rose in his mind. _If you did anything to her...I will...kill you, right here, right now. and I will be able to get away with it. so..._

"She was there, I told her that I was leaving. I just assumed that she went back to precinct."

_You just left her there...you what kind of bastard are you..._ "So you haven't seen her here?" Will swallows.

_what is really going on and were the two of them up to something._  
_Don't think that,_  
_how can I not...she's_  
_then find her and not worry about this guy_  
_his..._  
_no his no threat...do what you have to do and then..._  
_you're right his not worth the time when I have to find her..._

"No," Castle wasn't lying, he thinks that maybe he did see her in the airport but wasn't really 100% sure, and what was he going to tell Will that he saw a ghost.  
_Stop with the ghost thing already, there are no such things  
but what if there are...that would mean that she...na she's just hiding somewhere._

"Are you lying to me?" Will glares at Castle.

"Why would I do that? I trying to..." he swallows, "I tying to get away from her. "

_What?_ Beckett could feel the tears starting up again, _how can he say that...I..._

Castle takes a deep breath. "I just need time...away..."  
_away to what?_  
_sort things out...you know_  
_you mean hide from your feelings...I know that she hurt you...but you still love her and..._  
_I forget this..._he tried to think of something else but couldn't.

_Time? _Beckett thinks,_ so I might still have a chance?_ she smiles, _this trip to, who knows where, is that chance...my chance. A chance to what?_

"I thought you were moving. Well that's the word on the street, short of speak," Will continues.

_Gina._ Castle wrinkles his face, now he is really pissed at her. _How could she just tell everyone that, spreading that kind of knowledge around...Gina...if I get my hands... she did that to get back at me. Great it will be all over the papers by tomorrow._ "It might be true, I haven't really decided yet."

"If you see her, call me." Will hands Castle his card, with his personal number on the back. "Please it's important, we can't find her."

_Can't find her? so is she?_ Castle swallows. _That's not good. Why should I care though.  
because you still love her and you know it...you will always love her...no matter what you do..._

A frustrated Will heads back up the aisle. "You're good to go. No sign of her. Maybe she just went home." He starts down the stairs to exit the plane, but stops.

_But I doubt that. Something isn't right here, but what it is I don't know. Damn you Kate where are you? You have to be somewhere,_ Will scans the faces of the people on the plane, one last time, seeing nothing that pops out at him. _But I will find you. Then what?_ he sighs, _I'll just keep you safe from..._he stares directly at Castle _that..._ he points in his mind. _That...thing. H_e shakes his head as he walks off the plane.

Castle was thinking about walking off the plane himself but something stops him. What it was he wasn't sure. Call it a gut a feeling of some short, telling him that Beckett was safe that she's just hiding from Will and her team._ She needs this time alone too. I know in my gut she's just fine, wherever she happens to be. _He smiles at the woman, who is Beckett, behind him. She smiles back, hoping that she hasn't blown her cover.

Castle starts to type again, _now where was I...um... now that I'm on my flight to get away, I can only think of her...__Thanks Will for putting that kind of image of her in my head...on where she is missing..._he starts to type really fast. _But that gives me another idea for my...next book...next book? There is no next book or is there?_ He saves his work and then glances at the picture of the two of them on his screen. He closes his eyes, _no matter where you go, you will never get over her...she is in your heart forever._

**to be continue...**


	12. Ch 12- Safe (for now)

**Chapter 12 is here. All bold things are what is written on Castle's computer. I think that you can figure that one out. also The poems that are in bold are written by me in 2012. Hope you enjoy this new chapter. I hope that I didn't have to many errors in this one. If you haven't figured it out yet the characters talk to themselves a lot. I can see them doing this. anyway hope you like it so far, more to come.**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**

**chapter 12-safe (for now)**

_Finally, _Beckett takes off the wig,_ this is not me, no more pretending and it's not like anyone knows that I'm here. Well, not yet...that will have to be later. So, _she tosses the wig in the seat next to her_, now I can relax and what wait..._Beckett thought. _Not something that I do to well, but...at least I can rest without any worries... _She sighs and leans her head back on the blue patted headrest listening to the soft typing of keys in front of her. _what could possibly go wrong now.? I'm here and he's typing away._ Then suddenly the typing stops, _Why did he just stop..._she wonders. _should I? Why not what's the worst thing that could happen. I mean we are already in the air to, who knows where..._she leans forward to read what he wrote. The only words that she saw on his page was a one liner.

**how can I ever get over her, I mean all I ever wanted was her to love me back. and well that... **

_Was this his own words or the words of his characters, I...if he thinks that he is living out a fantasy in his books then that would be me...he..._she swallows...sitting back in her seat. _how do I fix this,  
let him know.  
and how do I do that? I thought that I was doing that when I went to his loft. I was telling him that I...  
but you never said the words that he wanted you to say...the ones that he said to you, about a year ago. The ones that you told him you didn't remember...  
_she starts to have the flashback of that day, the day that he changed her life, in more ways than one._ I have to...why did I even keep that from him? I mean I...I was falling for him back then...Actually I don't know when the...yes I do...that day was...the day that he opened my heart..._

Castle: H_ow is moving going to make me forget about her? All I can think about is her...she is haunting me even here. and what do they mean that she is missing? where are you Beckett and what are you up to? um...if Will thinks that she somehow got on a plane too? if she's not on this one, where did you go? was she coming after me?_ he shook the thought. _that would be too easy, but what if...but how will I know, I mean..._he swallows,_ what if she's in danger...what if those men _He has a flashback to the day that he was standing next to her and she got shot...shot in the heart, he could feel his heart breaking more._ what if they come back for her and...  
don't say it... _He slides his fingers over his eyes lids to whip away the tears._  
but what if... I'm not there to help her. I...  
don't think that, either... she's fine...what does you gut tell you,  
that she's okay but I don't always...listen to my gut..  
maybe you should..._he has a flashback to the time that she didn't believe in a physic but she did her gut...  
_so I should do that? Well my gut is still telling me that she is fine and that I have nothing to worry about. so why is it that I can't write more than what I have here...  
it seems to me that you still care, and that you have lost your words...maybe a nap will help get her out of your system, then you can think more or at least...try_

_I can't take a nap, cause if I do...then I will only have more fancies of her...but on the other hand that might not be a bad idea, anything that will...  
__what mend your heart, she will always be in your heart and on your mind. __You can run for her but you can't hide your love. It runs too deep.  
H_e sighs_, that's true...,_He leans over and looks out the window _watching the clouds go floating by. I can run all I want to...but I'll never forget. I will never forget the love in her eyes. The love that I feel in my heart for her...I just wish...  
__She loved you back.  
_Castle shut his eyes._ What do I do?_  
_Write what your heart is thinking._  
_What my heart is thinking, it's thinking of her and how..._  
_you love her I know. S__o write what your heart says for no words can be wrong if they are done out of your love  
_Castle begins to type and then once again stops._ if I had just let it happen...what if I had just let things go the way they were meant to be...will I ever know..._

Even though Castle's not facing Beckett she could read his expression the way that he stopped to think of the right words to type.

_wait he...is that what's he's thinking, that I...that I don't love him? how could he...I mean...I...wait a minute if he is writing this then that means he's still thinking about me... is this what happens a lot to him? He thinks of me and then he can't write, I mean when he talks sometimes he...loses his words. is that what I have become to him...a distraction._ she swallows, she remembers that at times he pauses slightly before coming up with the right words. She thought it was kind of cute, his little thing, _but wait he get flustered when talking to me._ _I...na, he just...but I can't explain that one. _

That thought made her both happy and sad. She wanted to sit by him. To help him. Then what...distract him more. _but what if he doesn't want me? I mean, the way that he's there in my life and then not. pulling me forward, then pushing me away, I'm sick and tired of it. M__ake up your mind already, either you want to be with me or not. Maybe this is just some kind of game to him._

She has flashbacks to the frist time that they met, standing after the case was over. She was mad at him for risking his life just for _what...so he could be the hero...or was that just to impress me, the whole time? And then when he asked me out after the guy was in my cop car was that... I didn't want to be one of his conquest but isn't that what we have became, each other's conquests? Well, that's how it feels...I mean...look at all that we've been through with each other...all the..._

She smiles, _maybe that's what we are, but if that's true when does it end?_ She sighs, _I should have just...I started all of this by the comment, "you have no idea," but I didn't think that he would take it seriously...I mean he was acting like a spoiled little brat just getting kicks out of annoying me but was there more to that then...was there more to him back then...more then I thought. I mean I guess I over judged him, but I'm kind of glad that he did take it seriously cause I got to know how the other side lives..._ she leans up some. _but now_,

She sniffs..._no I'm not going to let it end this way_. She closes her eyes, _but what if it already has...he's right I have been hiding to long, I just..._she forces the tears back,_ wanted to be happy. I was once and that was taken away from me, I can't go through that pain again...but I'm going through it now..._she swallows. She takes a deep breath. _What if I had just be honest with him and especially with myself...none of this would have happened...what would have happened to us...I mean would there have even been an us...as partners or would the heart ache like this have happened years ago, I just..._  
_why are you thinking about this?_  
_I can't help it...I just_  
_focus on what you want to happen now, not about what didn't..._  
_You're right I..._she smiles,_ really what would it be like... to make love to Castle? To have him..._

Beckett wondered_. I mean..._She remembered the teasing pleasure of his lips against hers earlier. His breath against her skin, how the heat was rising off the both of them. She took a deep breath. She remembered his deep voice that murmured straight into her soul when he spoke close to her ear, more than once. Oh how she shivered. She yearned to explore him without reserve. And yet, she knew she'd better not, that it might be the death of her yet.

Because after making love to him, nothing would be the same between them. She would have to live with the consequences. But who cares about the consequences right now, all she wanted to do was...she would deal with all that other stuff later on. Oh how she was getting turned on just thinking about this man. She decides peer over the seat just to see what he was up to. She could hear him softly snoring. _Asleep I see, must be dreaming good to still have a smile on his lips. oh those lips...Must be one of his fantasy about...I wonder does he dream of me as much as I dream of him? _

Then she glances at the words that were on his computer.

**All day I can smell the scent of you**  
**I touch my fingers to my moistened lips**  
**I remember just yesterday**  
**how your lips parted**  
**as though there was some secret**  
**that you had been holding**  
**one that you were finally go to share**  
**for my mind ****flashing pictures inside my skull**  
**and there is no detail that is missing**

**so I sit here today like a drunk**  
**trying to act sober**  
**my heart's bricks finally crumbling down**  
**then my eyes flood with tears.**  
**now here on the threshold of my mind  
I stand safe and alone  
where my dreams are of  
you and me living together**

**I imagine the magic**  
**the sparks here and there**  
**and everywhere I go**  
**with all the time in the world**  
**just for us to love each other**

**with your slow gentle hands holding onto me**  
**your patient fingers exploring**  
**with wonder and discovery**  
**that sends a heat burning in my heart**  
**and setting my soul on fire**  
**defenseless I'm till the morning shines...**

**my heat you have once again set me on fire.. now I'm...so so happy...****as I once fall into a deep sleep, where I know I want to be.**  
**At least I know, in my dreams I can still ****be me...**

he's cursor continues to blink. _he wrote that before he drifted off to sleep... I..._She smiles_. So I do consume his sleep as well...now he can once again invade mine._

Beckett drifts off to sleep herself. Thinking about what her hands could be doing to him...

**to be continued...**

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**the poem that is in bold was written by me, earlier last year 2012. It never got a title. I just thought that it fit here so I added it. If someone wants to give me title for it, that would be cool. anyway chapter 13 and 14 will be posted sometime next week. **


	13. Ch 13 heat flashes

**sorry about the last "hanging" as you guys call it. I just put two chapters up at a time, I don't look at it as stopping at any point. anyway chapters 13/14 are being posted today, cause well (feb, 24th) is my birthday and I thought I give my followers/fans a gift. smile. hope that everyone likes the story. I really don't know where this came from so...my characters might seem out of say "character" but that's how I saw them. It's more about what the characters are going through then the story it's self (that will makes sense later on). Anyway, don't get mad...just follow the story. Tell me what you think...**

**one other thing, the italicized words are what the characters think to themselves (they do seem to fight with say their inter soul, mind or heart.**

**if that's even possible, I don't know. I guess). anyway enjoy this new chapter and tell me what you think of it. It's a different kind of story and some might not like it, but oh well. I had fun writing it so...**

**on to "Heat flashes," ( I thought the title fit...)**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**

**chapter 13- Heat flashes**

Beckett was awaken by the announcement that all passengers need to prepare for the landing.

_What already? I was just settling in. oh well, now the hard part comes, getting off this flight without being seen. _She looks over at the wig that is next to her. B_ut I don't want to keep pretending that I'm something...someone that I'm not. I just want...S_he decides to put the wig on for a few minutes just so she can start to follow Castle. _Then what hide behind this all the time. no I don't think so. _she tosses the wig down. _I think that I will risk it. If...and I do mean if...there is a chance between us...I want it to honest...I want to be honest not only to him, but to myself. Castle's right I've been hiding too long, I can't keep running. I have to..._

She thinks that she sees a person with a suspicious looking coat. _Not everyone is who you think they are_. Castle's words echo in her mind. _That's not. I have to stop thinking about those people...  
but if you do then...  
no I will not live in fear!  
just keep it there, _ She shook the thought. _where am I? How long were we traveling?_

She looks out the window _oh no not another crowd of people... I just...what was I expecting...of course there would be a red carpet welcome flying with Castle. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe I can blend in..._

She could hear Castle stir in front of her.

"You have a good sleep Ricky?" Trixie made her way up to him.

"Somewhat, I..." he yawns.

"You must have needed it. Anyway, staying at the same place?"

"Yeah, I have a limo waiting." _must be nice to have people at your beckin call wherever you go._

"And a crowd I see..." Trixie points to the window. "You can't go anywhere to get away." _She's right, I can't but..._he swallows_..It's not the same as it was before and it never will be again. _He stretches. _Let's go and get this over with. Then I can...  
and what move on, I hate to tell you this but it does work like that...and you know it...  
we'll see...  
we will...trust me I know how this end and it's...  
go away...  
I'm just saying...  
shut up...and let me have some peace...  
like that's going to happen...  
_

Flashes go off, as soon as Castle steps out into the bright sun. He pulls out his sunglasses, and smiles. _Why are there so many people here? How did they know? It's not like I told anyone where I was going...except...oh no Gina what did you do? She wouldn't...  
oh yes she would...especially if she thought...  
thought what? _

Beckett, standing a few people behind Castle, lets out a sigh when she sees the crowd of people gathering closer. "Here we go again." She calls under her breath, not looking forward to getting past all the people. "Is this what I want...to be part of...of all of this?"

Castle makes he's way down the steps.  
_The faster I get out of here the faster my new life begins_  
_And how is that going so far...?_  
_I...I don't know I..._  
_All you did on this flight was dream about what might have been_  
_What should I have done...just..._  
_I...would have but then again your..._  
_Am what? In love...was in love_  
_Yes, I know but sometimes you have to take a chance...and you had one...you just ignored it._  
_But I..._  
_You may never get another one..._

Castle takes a deep breath, _was that true?...__did I miss the one chance I had with Beckett all because I ...wait should I have just let it play out. what if I...I don't know what to do?  
a little late deciding that now...it will come to you...now...go...  
right...why am I talking to myself. I have to get out of here before I go crazy.  
maybe to late for that too...we anin't going anywhere...  
_

Castle waves at the crowd. Maybe seeing some of his fans will get his mind off of her and...  
_this is not going to work and you know it...the only thing..._  
_go away and leave me alone,_ he shook his head. _I need a drink_  
_oh yeah that's the way to go get drunk and then see where that lands you_  
_it's better than having to deal with you right now..._

"Just like Castle, everything's about his fans," Beckett comments as the flashes continue.

"Nikki Heat over here," someone in the crowd yells.

"Nikki Heat?" _What?_ _Beckett? Where?_ Castle tries to turn his head to look behind him. _I don't buy it, there is no way that she's here? but then again...she is missing...na no way._. Not paying attention to what he was doing, he misses a step and starts to stumble. All she wanted to do was be there to catch him. But he is able to regain his balance. More flashes go off. _Great now that's going to make the papers. I can read the headlines now._

"Nikki a few more shots,"

"What the," Beckett, who is still being blinded by the flashes, does not see where the Castle went off too. She can hardly descend the stairs with the crowd getting closer to her. _why?_

"Smile, Nikki," she could hear one person say.

"It's the muse herself..." another one calls, between flashes going off.

_why am I getting all the attention? and how did they know that I was on this flight...oh no you didn't. S_he thought about Gina_...she didn't do this to me...did she? she knew that I...she alearted all the press and the like that I was coming. I wonder if I could kill her. for I could get away with it..._she smiles at the thought_...that would just cruel...but Gina just watch your back...if you make me lose him you will never hear the end of it...  
where did that thought come from...I've never thought of myself is being the jealous type..._She has a flashback to her highschool days when her friend and her liked the same guy..._that didn't end to well, for either one of us. But maybe after working with Castle..._she tried to push the thoughts from her head._ I just...  
you want what you heart wants  
what?_

Beckett's thoughts were interrupted by a cameraman voice, something that she was grateful for. He walks up turning on his camera, and sticking a microphone in front of him. "We saw Richard Castle get into the limo over there. We, were all told, that he was bring his muse with him when he wrote the newest Nikki Heat book,"

"Newest book?" Beckett was now confused..._I thought that he...did he really tell the press that I was coming...but_

"Yeah, his publisher told us that his muse was with him this time. We just assumed that it was you...you fit the bill cause well your hot, and that the limo door over there." The man points to a limo with the one of its doors still open. "Is still waiting..."

_Still waiting...what? _she thought..._did Castle have anything to do with this or was this all Gina...knowing very little about Gina but how she was acting earlier it was all her doing. but why would the limo still be...no way..._

Beckett only smiles, she was thinking about why that the limo was still waiting, not about what the crowd was thinking. "So are you her," the man interrupts her thoughts again. "It is her." he yells , "It is the hot, Nikki Heat."

"No wait I..." Beckett starts to protest.

"Can I get an autograph, please." One person holds out one of Castle's books and gives her puppy-eyes.

Castle can't figure out why the crowd is still around the limo preventing it to moving. "What is going on here? Why can't we get by? I know my fans can get restless at times but this is different. They don't seem to be moving out of the away."

"That's because it is different, something about a Nikki Heat...who ever that is..." The limo driver says,

"Nikki Heat? what? where?" Castle steps from the limo but sees nothing out of the ordinary. He thinks that this is just one of Gina's publicity stunt. _but why would she do that? _Frustrated Castle climbs back in the limo._ How could she do this to me?_

_maybe she's just playing with you Rick don't trust this..._  
_you're right there is no way that Beckett was on that flight, I would have seen her...right? I mean..._  
_are you sure that she wasn't..._ He's heart adds to the fight.

"Your publisher told us she, this Nikki Heat, was on the flight. I just assumed.." the driver continues to talk.

_But what if it was true, that she was on that flight...and..._

Castle looks through the back glass of the limo, looking for any signs of her... _nothing I see nothing. Unless she's in that crowd...then I'll never find her...I just..._He turns to face the driver, sighs and leans his head against the seat.

"The crowds are starting to leave sir." the driver looks at Castle who has his eyes shut. "Shall we?

"Yes, that will be fine." he says in a frustrating tone.  
_how could you...how could you Gina _  
_...she must..._  
_what if Beckett really was there and now..._ Castle swallows as he stares out the window. _Beckett...she might be out there alone and...I need.._.

"The same place," Castle sighs, continuing to stare out the side window. The driver, taking the silence as being a yes, starts to pull the limo out going extra slow just in case he happens to see her._ Who is this Nikki Heat and why would Castle be...what is he waiting for her to just appear? or is there something else going on? he just doesn't seem like himself this time...what could possible be wrong...oh no not a break up...I hate that kind of...but he's not like all my other...what are we friends...I mean...I wish that I could do something for him...but I just don't know what._

Becket is still standing, signing books.

_I don't have to guess what it feels like, I'm in the middle of this. Gina did all of this, just to...what ...to distract me... to stop me._

More people hand her books. _Hey this could be fun...but right now I have to follow..._she looks around, this time not seeing the limo. _what the? where did they go?_

"Thanks Nikki Heat, we love you." some people call to her.

_Now what am I going to do, this is your fault Gina, you wanted me to miss the him in the crowd. damn...you. _Then she notices that the airport has taxi's, _I guess that's better than nothing but how to get one._

"Nikki Heat is getting a taxi, follow her." The crowd starts to follow her. _Castle... help me...you wouldn't leave me hanging. _"Where are you going Nikki your fans want to know."

"My fans..." she sakes her head. "I don't..."

"Nikki Heat?" a man standing holding a taxi door open yells. "You need a taxi,"

"Yes, yes I do," she runs past the crowds.

"Here take mine, I do anything for my Nikki," _Now that's disturbing but I can't complain, cause right now I need to hurry._

"Thanks I think..." She climbs in, the man shuts the door for her.

"Where to ma'am." says the cab driver as he turns around.

"Follow that limo,"

"That one," the driver points to a limo that is making its way into the streets.

"Yes that one, I think."

"You think, it 's the only one that is out here today. who's in there?"

"No questions just follow that limo. This is police business," Beckett leans forward flashing her id badge at him.

"Sure thing." he turns to face the front. "Wow police business huh. What kind?"

"Hurry before we lose that limo,"

"We won't, not with this traffic." the cabbie fixes his mirrors and follows the limo. "Look at it."

_He's right it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. What is it rush hour?_

"I know what you are thinking. It's just..." the cabbie gets one of his feelings, looking closely in his mirror. He sees a man in a black SUV holding a gun. _what have you got me into lady? I don't need a gun fight in here. T_he cab makes a turn to the right, onto an alley street. Beckett can't believe it, _what's he doing the limo went that way. where is he taking me now..._she swallows, _was this a good idea...or did I just set myself up for...  
don't think that,  
but was Castle's words right about people not being who they said they were...oh..._she thought. _stay calm, _she tried slow breathing to keep her thoughts in check_. I don't know anything,  
maybe something has happened...  
no I will not think that...  
_

"Where are you going? You're losing them. They didn't go this way." Beckett thinks if she talks then she will get her mind off what she knew might be taking place.

The SUV follows the taxi. _Just as I thought, we are being followed._

"Someone's following us." the cabbie says looking back at her.

"What," her worst fears are coming true and now she's in a new place, without her gun, and nowhere to hide. Beckett swallows trying not to let her emotions show, she had to think of a way to get out of here safe. "How do you know it's not just?"

"We cabbies know these things. We are paid to pay attention, a little to much at times." Beckett turns around to see who it might be. Sure enough she sees the SUV. _not now. not when I..._

"Just hang on," the cabbie yells, the tires screech as the cabbie swerves the car to the left down another alleyway, "we are making a detour."

"I..." Beckett starts.

"Trust me." the car took another right. Bullets slicing the air, then exploding trash cans just a few feet away. The cabbie hears the dings against the car's trunk, "Duck, and stay down." Beckett just did as the back window of her taxi was shot out, shattering glass everywhere.

**to be continued...**


	14. Ch 14- I'm following my heart

**Chapter 14 is now up. This is my birthday "gift" to all my followers/fans (of my story). Hope that you like. Anything in "italicize" is what that character is thinking, (they seem to fight with their inner soul/heart/mind/gut -(if that's even possible, I don't know. I guess)). but I think that you already know that.**

** Anyway here is the next chapter. Also I made all of this stuff up, could it really happen, I don't know, but for my story it could. Tell me what you think of it. It's a different kind of story and some might not like it, but oh well. I had fun writing it so...**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**

**chapter 14-I'm following my heart**

With her ears still ringing, Beckett peers her eyes over the seat like a child hiding behind a couch. More shots ring out. _Great just what I need a gun battle and me without my gun. How am I going to get out of this one? And if they are after me, are they after Castle too? Thinking about Castle how..._she didn't want to think about him, she just wanted to be with him. In his arms,... were she knew that she would be safe.  
_in his arms...  
yes, that's where you want to be... that's where you should be...always...safe...safe in his arms...and..._

The cabbie speeds into a garage that holds all the city's taxi's.

He could hear that the SUV coming to a screeching halt just outside the doors. He was waiting for the SUV to come in following them, but it just stood there. _That was not a good sign,_ the cabbie thought _once I try to get her out my car, they will shoot at her again. And this time they might kill her. Lady what are you running from?_ The cabbie takes a long, deep breath. "Police lady," the cabbie looks at Beckett, who was laying down in the back across the seat. "We have to switch cars."

"Switch cars and then what? Have them follow me again?" Beckett couldn't believe what was happening, who could be coming after her?  
I_t couldn't be that same guy from the roof could it...and how...where they following me...did I just led them here? Where ever here is?_

The cabbie opens his door with caution, after hearing the SUV spin-off, interrupting her thoughts.  
"Not if you take one in the front of the building. It's a different kind of Taxi, our green party taxi's ."

"Are they bullet proof?" Beckett knew that cars weren't but saying that might calm her nerves.

"No cars are, but if you want to get to Jewel-mont hotel that your...man is at then I suggest you take it."  
_My what?... did he just say... my man...  
yes your man  
but he's...  
could be...take the deal and find him...take the chance...if you...  
you know I'm..._

He goes around the Taxi, opens her door and helps Beckett to her feet, "Are you hurt?"

"No but..." She glances at the bullet holes that are in the trunk and then thinks about the glass being shattered.  
_These guys mean business who ever they were...that could be my body full of holes...with blood...dripping..._  
_stop thinking that way Kate Beckett, you're safe_  
_for now then what? what if they come back...to... _

She swallows, trying to forces the thoughts from her head.

"Don't worry about the car, it can be replaced but people can't."

_That's for sure, but why are these gunmen after me? was it the ones that where hanging me off the roof in New York? If they were how did they...they were following me this whole time?...is that why the US marshal was on that flight, did the FBI know something that I didn't? Is that why Will was looking for me, did he know that I was in danger and not..._  
_what? he didn't know that you were there...  
what have I got myself or _she swallows the lump that was in her throat._ Castle into...I mean if they are after me on the plane, then what's stopping them from going after Castle. _Beckett blinks, holding back tears,

_Castle... _She sniffs_. what if...__that means that Castle is in trouble too. The cabbie's right, I have to get to him before...they find him. but if I go to him, _she swallows_, then I will lead them right to him. _She slides her hands down her face._ Castle what do I do? If I come after you, then we might both be dead...but if I don't...and you...I'll...how could I put you in danger like that? I didn't mean to. I..._

"What happened to your car bro," another cabbie comes up to see why a car speeded into the shop.

"We got shot at...I need you to take that police lady." he points to Beckett, who is standing, looking lost. "over there..." he hands a paper to the younger cabbie. "To this address."

"That's..."

"Yeah, I promised her that I would get her there to meet her lover."

"Well, she is hot so..." the other cabbie was looking Beckett up and down smiling.

"Just take her there and don't hit on her. She's a cop and I wouldn't mess with a New York cop."

"Oh, a New York cop, one of the finest, in more ways than one." he laughs. "Yeah, I drop her off."

"Thanks," the older cabbie pats the other cabbie on the back. "Cause after a brush with death, I'm going home,"

"Cop Lady, from New York." Beckett turns."I'm here to take you to the hotel that you looking for."

"You know where?"

"Well, that's why we're the best." Beckett hesitates at the new taxi, "Are you coming?" She opens the door, still not feeling at all safe. "It's only a few blocks from here, you could just walk. I mean, I'll walk with you."

"I..."

"Or I could drop you at one of the stores next to the hotel and you can wait for a while, just to make sure that you aren't being followed."

_That would work I suppose, I mean what other choices do I have? I can't walk, I would quickly be seen and I can't put any other people in danger. _She puts her hands by her side and lets out a sigh,_ I wish that I had my gun. We haven't been followed in here but once I step out there again then..._she sighs, lowering her head, _Castle I...I have to...I got us into this mess and I have to find away to get us out of it._

"That would be the better of the two choices but I..." Beckett finally says, thinking at the last second that maybe she should just turn around. _If I stay right here I'm safe but..._  
_then don't do it...do what feels right to you._  
_what is right anymore...I don't know  
following your heart, it is what's right...what does that tell you?  
that I'm...  
besides that...I already know  
to go after him...  
then do it._

"Climb in and I will get you there...safely." the cabbie says still waiting for Beckett to make up her mind. Beckett does so, hoping that she was making the right choice. The cabbie pulls up to the corner with no one following them. Beckett gets out of the car stepping to the front of the cab. She leans in window,

"Thanks for getting me here safely." She tries to pay the cabbie.

"I can't take that." he shakes his head. "I...I won't." he smiles. "I just hope that you find the man who you are looking for and that things go well for the two of you."

"What?"

"Look this hotel, the Jewel-mont, is one of the best in the city. When someone is that determined to follow someone there, you are either a stalker or a lover. And since you said that you are a cop then he has to be your lover." He winks then pulls out into the street.

Beckett walks into the Lingerie store, one that was next to the hotel, for a minute just to make sure that no one was following her. _Lovers me and Castle, I don't see that happening but I can wish...There's always a shot I suppose. But after what's happened between us...I just don't know. I... _She unfolds the paper that the cabbie gave her with the name of the hotel on it_. Jewel-mont, what kind of name is that? _Shaking off the thought,_ right now I have to find out if he's even in this place, where the cabbie says he went to...I just hope that they were right...I mean I don't know how, but what ever works. _Seeing that no one has shot at her, she thinks it's safe to try this hotel.

Beckett stands in front of the Jewel-mont hotel. Being the tallest building on the block, it looks well out-of-place. She walks through the spinning doors. _Wow the cabbie was right look at this place._ She stands there just taking in the high ceilings, the ornate pillars and the well-polished floor easily reflecting to her a legendary palace-like feel. _The guy was right, this is not like any ordinary place, it's...I don't know...something about it just makes it special. Not like most hotels I've been in...to expensive for my taste but...we are talking...Castle. _She closes her eyes for a moment before moving. Her high heels echoing as she walks towards the front desk.

The manager glances up from his computer, holding up a finger, telling her that he would be right with her. She flashes her id badge to make him hurry up. "Can you please hold sir. " He places the phone down. _I see that this badge does just as good as the real one..._  
_you are who is real not the badge...believe in yourself Kate._

"What can I do for you officer?"

"I'm looking for some information on a guest of yours, a Richard Castle."

"We respect the privacy of our guess we can't give out such info."

"Well then can you at least tell me if you have seen this man?" She places a picture of Castle down on the counter in front of him.

"Once again, ma'am we don't give out that info, not without a warrant."

"I'm the police you are hindering my investigation." _what investigation would that be... one of the heart..._

"Well, then you will need to show me a warrant. Then I'll tell you everything," he picks the phone back up and continues where he left off ignoring Beckett.

A room server, who was walking by, over hears Beckett and her request.

"The man who you are looking for..." he whispers.

"Have you seen him?" she whispers back showing him the picture. He nods his head towards his left. Beckett glances that way seeing what she thinks looks like a bar area. "Figures, his at a bar." The man winks, she thanks him.

"13th floor..." the man adds as he walks off, not looking back.

Beckett relaxes now that she knew that she had the right place. _but why would he be down here if his room is on the 13th floor? Why not just get room service up there? And what is so special about the 13th floor? Castle why would you take the top floor?_

"This is our list of items, ma'am." The same man comes back around . "The whole floor, it's the most private place that we have. Usually for weddings, no one but that one person and room service are allowed up to that floor. but since you are a cop," he whispers and hands her a menu, "Here's the code to the elevator." he smiles, hoping that he was truly not going to get caught doing this for her. "If you need anything on the menu just ask, we serve anything 24 hrs a day." he said, in a regular voice, noticing that the manager at the front desk was watching him.

"Good thing to know, thanks for the info." Beckett smiles. She was glade that someone was willing to help her out, to give her the info that she needs. She takes out her phone and pretending to use it.

"I told you..." the manager behind the desk, waves her off. "Shoo...now."

"Just leaving," she snaps her phone shut."Thank you for your time. I'll be back."

"I'm sure you will." he snorts.

Beckett turns, looking into the bar. She sees that Castle, who was indeed in there with his laptop typing away. She was happy to see that she had the right place and that he looks to be safe.  
_I'll be back all right, grandee it. You just wont know who I'm.  
and neither will he...  
I...  
you're right you have to protect him...but for how long?  
what's that suppose to mean...  
when are you just going to tell him that you are here...you can see that he's still heart broken...do something about it...  
I...  
now is the time...and without...  
not yet...  
_

Beckett walks towards the spinning door, then stops,_ you're right I have to do something, just not what you are thinking.  
here we go again..._her mind says,_ I just hope that you know what you are doing.  
yeah, me too..._

**to be continued...**


	15. Ch 15 shall we

**Chapter 15 is here! I'm sorry to leave you "hanging" on the last chapter, but it makes you want more...anyway I'm glad I did, I added parts to this chapter to make it say flow (I added some characters that you will see later in the story). I hope that you have enjoyed my story. I know that I have enjoyed writing it. Remember any "italicized" words are what the characters are thinking to themselves they are still fighting with their soul/mind/heart/gut. (if that's even possible, I don't know. I guess). Could this really happening in real life, I guess so...anyway enjoy this new chapter and tell me what you think of it. It's a different kind of story and some might not like it, but oh well. so...**

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**Take a chance on me****  
****chapter 15- shall we?**

**Street corner near the Jewel-mont hotel:**

On the street corner a heavy-set man stood by a street lamp on the phone watching people as they pass.

"Is the job done?" A deep voice on the phone asks.

"Uh," Vinny sighs and shakes his head, "no."

Vinny holds the phone away while the man on the other line shouts "no!" Vinny swallows placing the phone back to his ear.

"She just...well gone."

"What do you mean that she's gone?"

"She took a taxi... we followed... her shot at her... then her taxi went into this building at high speeds after that... we went in she was gone I don't know, it was like she just vanished."

"People don't just vanish." Vinny had to think about that one, _people vanish every day. One minute you are here the next...you're gone. That's what happens in my business. It's just a part of life._

"She did. She couldn't have gone too far, though... I mean...she wouldn't stupid enough to take another taxi would she?" Vinny after making the comment, thought about how dumb did that sounded.

A laugh, on the other line, "You know I wouldn't put it past her. She's stupid enough to follow that writer boy."

"What writer boy?"

"Castle, something another. They are always together."

"I think he was on the plane too. Earlier, but we lost track of him at the airport," he let out a sigh, "That...he wasn't the target."

"So they are both here?"

"I guess, what do you want us to do?"

"Check everywhere find that cop I want her dead by tonight."

Vinny swallows, "You got it boss," Now only if we could find that Bitch.

"And Vinny this time don't miss."

"We won't I guarantee it."

"You better not, and if she's with anyone especially that writer guy take him out to."

"No worries, out here. We will kill them both."

"Leave no witnesses behind. Anyone that gets in the way, just whack them. Now do your job, and kill her!" click

**Man at his desk in the shadows:**

Scatters papers from Beckett's file and stabs a picture of Castle's smiling face with a knife. "When I find you, you too will be a dead man. Mark my words...no one messes with me."

**Street corner near the Jewel-mont hotel:**

A scrawny man walks up spitting, tilting his head. "Was that the boss?"

"Yeah, where were you?"

"I had to take a leak."

"No time for that, we have to find those two and now...,"

"Two, when did it become two..."

"That 'writer boy' that was on the plane, boss wants him dead too."

"Writer boy," Manny pauses to spit again. "Oh yeah pretty boy, I remember him." Looking around, trying to think of where to go next, Manny sees a green taxi. _It can't possibly be ones from the building._ He pats his partner and points.

"A Lingerie store, you have got to be kidding," Vinny glares at the store. "We are not window shopping here; we are looking for the cop and her boy toy. That bitch is not going to get away this time. I will bit my life on it."

"No, not the store itself... look it's one of those green taxi's maybe."

"Same ones in the garage. No freaken way! "Go go,"

Manny runs across the street causing cars to honk. "Look out," one screams.  
He slams the picture of Beckett down on top of the counter. "Seen this woman." The young woman behind the counter swallows, looking up nervously.

"Sure..." she stammers "She...was in here," shaking her head trying to think."Say about...I don't 30 minutes ago, something like that. I just know that is was less than an hour ago. I mean she stood around like she was waiting on someone to follow her. No one ever showed up, so she left."

"Did she leave by foot?"

"Yes, yes she did. Well, I think she did, she didn't look like she was from around here." _Good that will be easier to find her._ The man said under his breath.

"Is she in trouble officer?"

"No I was just looking for her. I heard about a shoot out and was just making sure she was safe. Anything else you can tell me to find her."

"Yeah, I overheard her talking to herself about the Jewel mont. It's the hotel next door to us, very high class. You might want to try there."

"Thanks," Manny races out to tell Vinny that he know where they needed to go.

"How did you?"

"The clerk was very chatty. Told me exactly where to go."

"Did you kill her?"

"No was I?"

"Forget it; she's not worth our time, now anyone you do talk to..."

"That could be hundreds and then the cops."

"Yeah, they would be on us fast...and we hit our targets...just keep down low okay."

"So anyway the clerk said that she was in there less than an hour ago and that she was headed Jewel-mont on foot."

"Where's that?"

Manny points. "Welcome to the Jewel-mont hotel." The two men walk in swinging doors. "I just hope that she's still here."

"Now how do we find her in here?" Vinny asks looking around.

"Why can't we just ask?"

"They will not tell you, that's just a stupid idea. and why would they, look at you couldn't be more obvious."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Hello, you are holding your gun, put it away." Manny slides the gun behind his back and places it in his waist band. "So we just go knock on every door?"

"That's the plan now; let's just get this over with."

"There are over 1000 doors, in this place."

"Well, then we better get to going then. You take odd floors while I'll take even. Remember to kill her this time and anyone in the way."

"Let's go and collect our payday."

_**Inside the Jewel-mont hotel lobby area:**_

Beckett steps out of the lady's room with the wig on the one that she kept from the plane.

_(Beckett's mind:)_

_Don't lead him on too much or you might..._  
_it's not going to be like that...__  
__let's hope not..._  
_look I'm going to be the one in control._  
_Yeah well, ...the more that you lie to him... the more that he won't_  
_he won't find out_  
_what...he will and then..._  
_I'll take that chance...I_  
_You are in love with him...just he doesn't know it...why don't you just tell him...and stop all this running from him...from your heart...yeah I know that you were hurt before but...he's_  
_you're right he is...that's why_  
_why you have lied to him all this time...for the past what four years..._Beckett lets out a sigh, knowing that all that was true. She couldn't hide it from herself.  
_you're right I have...I just_  
_you don't need to any more...you know that he loves you and would do anything...and I mean anything for you...I have see it first hand and I know that you have too._

She heads to the bar thinking that this is the only way to get to see Castle right now, where she could just watch him for a distance. She sits down at one of the tables, trying not to make a scene. Then Beckett sees Trixie standing in the lobby doorway.

_(Beckett's mind:)_

_Great, just want I needed. I thought that we would be alone._  
_this is a bar, you should know_  
_but I didn't think..._  
_well, get closer...sit at the bar if you are so worried..._  
_worried...I..._  
_I know what you feel remember...we both are one..._

Beckett steps up to the bar and sits next Castle, when he turns ordering another drink. She glances over at some of his papers.

_(Beckett's mind:)_

_It's good to see him writing...what does that say?_  
_read it...it's probably about you...most of what he writes is..._  
_how..._  
_it's how he feels, and remember what...what was her name...anyway the one that was playing you for the Nikki Heat movie said about his work, that it was his fantasies all about you.__  
__Yeah but..._  
_just read it..._

**I stood in the doorway****  
****for the longest time**  
**after you left**  
**looking out at the night**  
**listening**  
**listening to the stars**  
**who I saw smiling**  
**smiling down at me**  
**feeling the cold**  
**cold wind blowing**  
**against the warmth of my body**  
**feeling your sweet touch**  
**still tingling through me**  
**ragging setting my body of fire**  
**it would have been too easy**  
**to welcome you inside me**  
**right at this moment**  
**for it feels so right**  
**but I hold back**  
**for I will never know**  
**who is on the other side**  
**of your skin**

**(This poem was written by me called "inner skin" (11/11/12))**

_When did he start writing poetry_Beckett thought._  
__He's writing whatever he is thinking and it tells me something about him and how_  
_and how what..._  
_think Kate...reread his words and you will know...it's how he feels...about..._  
_but I..._  
_just read..._  
_is that..._  
_only you will know the answer..._  
_but I..._she reread the poem in her mind. The words sent heat skittering all through her body. _More words that will haunt me..._  
_they will till you..._  
_till I what?_

Trixie watches Castle sitting alone in the empty bar, drinking.

_(Trixie's mind:)_

_Drinking already. That's__not a good sign something must be wrong with him._ _Then again that is Ricky for you, last time that he was drinking this much though was when he was having trouble writing his book._ She saw that he did have papers with him. _I wonder..._ She walks closer to him and reads the title of his paper over his shoulder. _That's the books that I like...the Nikki Heat series. What's with the title though "heat is gone". Why would he write a title like that if_...she heard him softly sigh.

"Drinking alone stranger?" Castle recognizes the voice and glances up. He semi smiles at Trixie.

_(Trixie's mind:)_

_He must really be drowning his sorrows today. The look in his eyes, they are what... empty. I've never seen him like this. What happened to him? It's like he has lost his soul. Lost the spark...for living...He must have been faking it earlier, I mean one doesn't just lose everything in say a few hours. He looks heart-broken, maybe I can get him to open up and talk to me about it._

"I just...want to be alone right now. I..." Trixie ignores his comment and sat down next to him anyway.

_You don't need to be alone and you know it._ She heard him sigh again. She waves off the bartender that tries to bring her a drink. Castle didn't want to talk to anyone.

_(Castle's mind:)_

_Why can't I just at get away by myself and think._ _But all I can think about is...__  
__she's not going to leave my mind._  
_I just can't..._He takes a sip on his beer.

"Writing again," Trixie points to his papers. "I like the title," He smiles, then takes another sip of his beer letting the alcohol run down his throat. He swirls on the stool to look out towards the lobby doors.

_(Trixie's mind:)___

_Is he waiting for someone to walk in? Or did I just offend him in some way about his book? Something tells me there's more than just the book that he doesn't want to talk about but I..._

"I couldn't do it?" Castle states, which made Trixie happy, _so he does want to talk to someone, see I did know more about him then he thought._

"Do what? What couldn't you do?" Trixie was hoping that he would continue to open up to her about what was on his mind.

"Have sex with her."

_(Trixie's mind:)__  
__What? did he just say that out loud, why would he... now that's a story to be could explain a lot if he...this could be an interesting talk, maybe that's why he..._

"Why?" Trixie didn't ask who, if Ricky wanted to tell her he would. But this was odd that he would tell her something like this, just after they broke things off two months ago. Castle shook his head and then glances her direction.

"Why am I telling you this, of all people." he turns to face the other direction.

"Look Ricky," she takes his hand. "Just cause it didn't work out with us doesn't mean that we can't be friends, and it seems that's what you need now. A female friend, one that's not going to judge you."

"A what?" Trixie thought he sounded confused, but then again he was drinking.

"I don't judge, I've been there... so tell me why?"  
He takes a deep breath, _she's right I do need someone to talk to. Someone I think I know. I think that I can trust that she won't tell anyone this._

"Who am I going to tell," she points up and scoffs. "The birds," she tries to joke and she sees him smile. "That's the smile that I want to see,"

"I'm," he runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm..." he swallows.

"What? You lost for words?" he sits there with the thinking look on his face, the one that told her that he couldn't think of the words he wanted to use. "You...how can you be lost for words. You were always so chatty. That 's what I liked about you. But now..." Trixie pauses to think. "She must..."

"I'm in love with her." He blurts out, closing his eyes. Hoping that he wasn't making another mistake talking to her about this. _Really Rick what could be the worst that can happen she run off. She doesn't even know who you are talking about. And who cares if she does._

"What?" she questions, shocked at his words, sure she knew that he was in love before but something in his eyes was telling her that this time it was different, a deeper kind of love. One that he didn't know was there. He was silent again. "And did you tell her this?"

"Yes," he lowers his head, now looking down at the floor.

"And?" Trixie tosses her hands up in a suggestion.

"She crushed my heart again."

"But," Trixie didn't know what to say to him, if this woman didn't feel the same way about him than. "Wait you said, again?"

"I told her a year ago when she was dying, or at least I thought she was...and then again when." he had a flashback of the fight that they had that made him want to leave out there. "After I told her the second time, I left her place, then she shows up the next day."

"And what happened that day? Did you tell her then again?"

"Not exactly, I was and still am heart-broken." he swallows, glancing back up at her. "I...I just couldn't pull the trigger sort of speak. I mean..."

"And why is that, you're you...I've never..."

"I couldn't do it...I just... I couldn't...not like..." he took another sip of his drink, hoping that the alcohol would ease his pain.

"You must really be in love with her to have changed. She must be special for you not to..."

"What, take her like that right then, yes." he felt that someone was listen to him talk so he lowers his voice, "I mean...I wanted to but I just...it wasn't right. I don't want guilty sex..."

"And you think it would have been that with her?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind, cause that kind of sex it's...well great, always has been with my ex. but..." he sighs. "I don't want that, I don't want another one night stand..."

"You want more and you think that you found it in her?"

"I was hoping so...but now..."

"But your heart sill loves her. I see it in your eyes."

"Yes, that's why," he asks for another drink pushing his empty glass across the bar towards the bartender.

"Coming right up." the bartender calls. Trixie raised her eyebrows, but didn't say a word as she watches the bartender takes the glass and refills it.

"That's why I had to walk away." the bartender lays down a fresh napkin in front of Castle, then set his drink on top of it. Castle takes the glass and gulps some down.

"Whoa, there not the whole thing at once." Trixie takes his drink, and gets a dirty look. She places the glass down next to him. He blinks, and lets out a long slow breath. "That's why I'm here..."

Beckett's mind, _well that's comforting to know._

"Beckett, she means more to me than.." Castle sniffs "She's..."

"She's your dream girl." He glances up at Trixie as she continues. "The one..." she places her arm around Castle. Which Beckett doesn't like but can understand that she is just comforting him. Or was the intent more than that.

_(Beckett's mind:)_

_you should be the one that is doing that, not her_  
_but I..._  
_you just find out why he...tell him...tell him now__  
__I can't... not after..._  
_what? Learning that he wants more then...that's twice that he said...the same thing..._

Her thoughts were interrupted by Castle's voice still talking.

"Even more than that...I just...I never..." he sniffs again and wipes his eyes. "I never felt this way...not with...I don't think, I will again." Trixie turns his stool some so she can give him a hug. "Ricky," she whispers, "You will...and you will know when the time is right...trust me...trust in yourself...that kind of love it doesn't go away." she winks then she kisses him on the cheek.

"Trixie we got to go," another flight attendant calls from behind her.

"Now don't drink too much more." she pats him on the shoulder.

"It's not like I'm driving, I'm up stairs, how much trouble can I get into?" Castle chuckles. _Really what kind of trouble can I get into it's not like..._

"Plenty," Trixie leaves. Castle turns around, looking at the small crowd now forming in the bar . _I see that I'm not alone any more._ "Cheers everyone, next rounds on me." He nods to the woman next to him, "To the new me..." and taps glasses with hers. Slower music begins to play. Castle stands.

"Shall we..." he held out his hand. "Or should I say may I?" he bows, "Have a dance... with a beautiful woman be for I retire for the night."

**To be continued...**


	16. Ch 16- dance the night away

**Chapter 16 is now here. Could any of this really happen? I don't know but in my story it did. Hope you enjoy...I know that my (okay not mine) characters (Beckett and Castle-that is) don't talk to one another but they will...they are talking with their hearts...loving with their hearts...sometimes actions are better than words...I know! Also you (might) have to read between the thoughts to understand what is going on.**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**

**Chapter 16- dance the night away**

**Bar in the Jewel-mont hotel (location unknown)**

_What?_ Beckett thought, _why does he want to dance with me,__  
__he doesn't know yet...or maybe he does, take the chance? This is your chance._ Her mind argues with her._  
__But what if,_  
_take the chance..._her heart also tells her. _If you don't...__  
__I know...I'll..._  
_have no regrets...don't wonder if only..._  
_I want what I want and you know that. You have known that like forever...I want to finally heal..._her heart says

Beckett hesitates but for a second, making sure Castle didn't recognize it was her. He didn't seem to or if he did he wasn't letting her know. Then she reaches out putting her hand in his. _A perfect fit, just like this dance will be...perfect._ She smiles, _I just hope..._  
_Just go with it and have no worries._

The touch of his hand, made her feel alive. Her hand felt like it was pulsing in his throwing off sparks. Sparks that she couldn't control, but not as much as what he said to her,

"You look very sexy and mysterious, your eyes they are..." Beckett has flashback to the first time that he mention her eyes, how he could read her like one of his books and yet she still couldn't read him, after all this time. Nerves, amusement and something else fought for control of her body. Something that she had never felt before, something magical. Was this were she would just let go and believe?

(_Beckett's mind:)_  
_I..._  
_let go and follow where it leads you...__  
__I can do this,_ she sighs_, I...__  
__remember you are not giving up all control, you're sharing it..._  
_sharing it...yes...yes I'm._

She was being to feel that safe-ness again_._Her hand tightens on his arm.  
_  
__He picked a slow dance...why?_  
_So he could..._  
_do you think that this...was on purpose? Is it fate?_  
_I can't answer that, call it whatever you want but who really cares...you are in his arms and right at this moment that's all that matters__  
__that's true enough...I just got to let go some_  
_that's what we've tried you to tell you all these years, everyone has...even him._  
_What...when..._  
_he has let go...to be with you...and now..._  
_I should do the same..._  
_that's what love is...real love..._

Castle drew her closer...but not too close. He wants nothing more than to snuggle with a woman, this woman up against him and to drape his body all over hers but he didn't.

_This was just...what_ he thought._An undercover thing._His mind flashes back to the time that Beckett and he danced together to find out if an inside man were involved in jewelry theft..._oh how she looked in that dress...how..._then his mother showed up ruining the perfect night with her.

_(Castle's mind:)_  
_Why was everyone doing that to me, every time that I got close to Beckett something came up...something that would destroy the moment. That special moment...our special moment..._  
_and what happened the last time?_  
_I did it...I was the one that caused the moment to be ruined...maybe_  
_don't go there , you know that you two are bound for each other...if you weren't , you wouldn't feel this way in your heart._  
_What do I feel? I'm dancing with...my heart it feels...I don't know. Different..._  
_a good feeling...this is...I know...I can feel it too..._

The faint smells of cherries, the scent that he was trying to get away from, drifts into his nostrils and his heartbeat picks up. The woman in his arms seems to move with him smoothly, easily. With one hand on his shoulder, and the other clasps warmly in his, they seem to be made for one another.

_(Castle's mind):__  
__this is too perfect...I_  
_let it go and see..._  
_but I..._  
_no just trust..._  
_in?_  
_Me...you...all..._

"You're good at this." Castle, makes the comment, trying to get his mind to focus. Only did he know, that he was dancing with the woman of his dreams.

"I..." Beckett didn't know how to respond to that one.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__so he thinks that..._  
_talk to him, like you just met him_  
_but I know him._  
_and you want to deeper don't you_  
_well yeah, I mean...I have fallen in love with him...I just_  
_then this is your second chance, a fresh start short of speak..._  
_you're right...I just have to..._

"Had a lot of practice I bet," he smiles, "Being as..."

"I..Um..." Castle could tell that she was lost for words, just like he got being around Beckett.

"You're a natural at this...like it was meant to be..." she glances into his eyes, that spark was there, the one that she got so use to. The spark that told her that things were going to be okay, if she just trusted...then his words reached her brain.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__"Like it was meant to be..."_  
_of course it was meant to be...__  
__I..._  
_you want this...just make it last_  
_how..._  
_tells him...that you love him we all know it..._

Castle lets out a sigh, blinking.

_(Castle's mind:)__  
__is this how it's suppose to be for me, in the arms of someone else...Beckett I..._  
_focus Ricky don't think..._  
_don't call me that...you have no right..._  
_but I do...now focus on her...the one..._

"I mean look at you...you're so good at this...It's like..."

_Complaint the man already._ Her mind screams, _he told you in not so many words that you are what he needs so..._

"And you..." was the only thing that Beckett could come up with for the heat that she was feeling was distracting her. All of her.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__was he saying that this is what he needs someone to...dance with in more ways than one...someone he wants in his arms...someone like me? but he doesn't know...or does he? I wish that I could read his mind..._  
_your heart it already does...your heart already knows...more than you think...trust it...trust me..._

"I did some in boarding school for a couple of years till I got tossed out." Castle responds.  
A spurt of laughter escapes her. Castle once told her that he got kicked out of lots of places, "So you were a trouble maker?"

"I wouldn't say that," he put a grin on his face.

"Oh," she matches his grin.

"I actually didn't make all trouble but I did manage to find it rather often."

_(Castle's mind:)__  
__More than a little often_. His mind told him. _I can count lots of times, but you seem to know how to get out of it and say blame someone or something else.__  
__that maybe true, I remember times...good times...getting into jams...thinking about jams..._  
_not now...that's say for later...but I can think of more fun things then jam...say..._  
_don't..._

He spun her around, trying not to think about what he really wanted to do with this woman.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__I beg to differ on that one, I can see him just getting into all that trouble._ Beckett starts to have flashbacks to how much trouble that he got into from day one...  
_was that what I am suppose to do, keep him under control...keep him safe...and out of trouble?__  
__It seems like_ _he too kept you safe...and to..._  
_what? What?_  
_Never mind..._  
_you can't leave it at that..._  
_then think...what do you think?_  
_I..._  
_exactly...you don't need to...just...enjoy_

It was harder for her to pay attention to his steps... her steps. Harder for her to not to pull him closer to her and never let go. Then she remembered they weren't alone, they were...in a bar of all places.

Floating of from the speakers now was the slow dreamy sound of Elvis. Beckett couldn't tell what song was just beginning.  
Then she recognizes it as "love me tender." something that she knew Castle could do if she would just...let him...

The simple melody was smoothing the night away.

Castle's arms tightened slightly in spite of all his resolves he couldn't help himself. For this woman made him.

(_Castle's mind:)_  
_She makes me...feel__  
__what complete?_  
_I don't know it feels...like...she..._  
_you_ _want this feeling to last, I hear you on that one...this is where you belong...in the arms_...  
he wouldn't let his mind finish the sentence. He closes his eyes, but Beckett's smiling image came back to him.  
_Stop right there, I don't_  
_yes you do...you want this..._  
_I just..._  
_go with the feeling, it will not let you down, trust...trust...trust..._  
he blinks, _my mind's right I have to let her go..._he swallows the lump in his throat,_if I..._he squeezes his eyes tight to hold back the tears that he knew would come if he let them.._But I was happy._He reminded himself_...and if I...Beckett come back to me...you're the only that can save me...from myself...help me...my..._

And she took that gesture as a sign it was okay to drift closer against him. Her steps start to slow as she leans closer into his sweet, pliant, welcoming arms. Not that she was tightly up against him. No she was just close enough that her body could keep control and reel her back, if need be. Not that she want it to...she drank in his scent, drank in the moment. Their feet shifting in marking out the low throbbing rhythm of whatever song was playing, for they lost track of that and time. He had to stop this before it got too far.

(_Castle's mind:)_  
_go to far, it's just a dance..._  
_a dance that I can't handle..._  
_can't handle come on...stay with me, I want..._  
_but I don't...you know what I want..._  
_yes her...the woman in your arms..._  
_her...what? wait...I__  
__just remember...trust...follow...me...follow your heart..._

"One more thing," he tries to speak lightly, but his voice betrays him, turning husky. "I want to make special request,"

(_Castle's mind:)_  
_This is the way that I have to end this nonsense...__  
__nonsense, you think that this is all nonsense...then I have taught you nothing... and this ends... what with a kiss? You know...that might not be..._  
_stop, that's what got me in trouble in the first place... my mouth. I spoke what I was thinking and look where it got me._  
_Where it got you...you got to feel something you never had before...well in a really...really... really long time..._

_Castle starts to have a flashback to the last dance he had with Kyra, his first true love, before she walked out of his life, for good._

_The one that got away...I remember...I...__  
__and you didn't trust me then...and now..._  
_I..._  
_this it doesn't come around that often...a..._  
_I..._  
_We both know...we both...felt it...so trust me you don't want it to end...not like this...just...trust for once...and take a chance..._

"And that would be?" Beckett swallows not knowing what he might do next or what she might do, in response.

_**To be continued...**_

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	17. Ch 17- I rather not

**Chapter 17 is here. I wrote this story but have no idea where they are. I never gave (thought of) a location, I made it up-somewhere in the middle of the country, but are in the US. Remember they are on the run, no one knows where they are. Castle didn't want to be found but well, Beckett does find him. Anyway, on to the story. Please read through till the end of this story. What happens in these chapters, well let's just say some might not like them. But this is how I saw my (okay not mine) characters grow. Sorry so late had some problems, hopefully my internet will stay on long enough to enter more than this one chapter, if not more coming soon. anyway hope you enjoy and remember not to give up on this one, hint. hint. **

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**Take a chance on me****  
****chapter 17- I rather not**

**Jewel-mont hotel (location unknown):**

_(Beckett's mind:) He's going to kiss me isn't he? _Beckett thought._  
__Count on it girl_  
_and that will be the end of me, you know that..._  
_yes and this time let it go...you will be safe...trust_

She tilts her head back, looking up at him, waiting for him to make the next move.

He tries to keep his mind focused on kissing her lips, but he got lost looking deeply into her eyes. He saw welcome and warmth and something more. Something that he hadn't seen before. Some kind of spark or was it a spell. Either way it was something that he couldn't quiet place but it was making his chest tighten and his head go light. This made his own lips turn up in a smile to match hers. Now with both his hands around her waist, he was savoring the moment. This moment. Their moment, letting the delicate smell of hers tease his nostrils and burn its way into his brain as inhales slowly. He lets his mind drift off not knowing if it would come back.

_(Castle's mind:) ____where have I...it smells just like..._he takes in another long breath inhaling  
_that smell...it's a smell that you know...__  
__oh do I ever...I...Is this..._  
_Yes it is...just stay with it...never let it go...trust me...__  
__I do...I...why do I...this it's...What I..._  
_yes..._his mind wanted him to admit the truth..._  
__It's just a kiss_, he reminds himself _and nothing more. Then why do I...__  
__because...you know  
know what?  
_  
Castle slides his fingers to the back of her neck, cupping her head firmly and bent. Beckett didn't stiffen or pull back. _(Castle's mind) you should_ he thought as he watches her eyes drift close, _you should run as far as you can, cause once I do this ... I...I might not be able to stop...__  
__then don't...I mean...this time...could...last forever..._  
_last forever what?_  
_Just..._  
_I can't...I..._  
_just kiss her, you won't regret it...remember trust...the smell._

She presses against him instead, lips parting and welcoming his. A simple, slow kiss, a just get to know you kind of kiss. This felt so right, this kissing her but why he wasn't sure. Sure he had kissed other woman but something about this one was well different. He didn't understand why. Something that went deep, tapping into an outpouring of passion that his heart had never really allowed himself to tap into before. Something that he had bottled up years, way before. Something that he had only felt once before...

_(Castle's mind:) ____does this have to end..._  
_what this feeling..._  
_yes...this feeling...does it...have to end...__  
__no it doesn't ... if..._  
_if what?_  
_only if you let it go...feel..._  
_but...I...it..._  
_might what..._get _too dangerous and exciting and you might...say what, you like it...do you like this...I mean I know that I do..._  
_but...what if I...__  
__what can't stop...this time...it's what I've always wanted and you know that..._his heart screamed at him.  
_I just..._  
_what can't handle the truth...can you?_ His mind counters back.

Her soft, contented sigh was music to his ears and a fire to his soul. Sending a lightning strike of pure pleasure jolting through him, making it hard for him to pull back but somehow he did manage. His body was not too happy with him.

_(Castle's mind:) ____Why did you do that? _his mind shouted.  
___I have to..._  
_to what you just ruined another one of my moments...our moments...how dare you..._  
_what? What moment...I don't_  
_you think on that one..._

After a kiss like that, Beckett felt her blood turn to champagne, frizzing dizzy bubbles pop-pop-popping in her brain like a dozen tiny surprises happening all at once. Her gasp was equal part pleasure and astonishment. Her reaction to this feeling startles Castle, he froze for a second his eyes widening watching her. Then he made another mistake, instead of tossing out some teasing comment, turning the unsteady moment into that of playfulness. He took quick advantage of her open mouth, and kisses her again, this time with more force. A hungry force, a desirable force, one to be reckoned with. One with an urgently passion, something raw, something little wild.

His tongue sweeping over hers setting off another round of bubblies but this time they were happening everywhere now all over her body.  
After a lifetime of waiting she had found the right man, he just didn't know it yet. During this kiss, she learns that she craves this wildness as much as she craves tenderness. This man, this kiss had it all. She really did love him. She was sure of it now, though she didn't understand how she could love him after all that he had put her through over the years. Was love, like trust, something that had to build over time, slowly growing to the ultimate intimacy.

_(Beckett's mind:) ____Maybe,_ Beckett swallows, _that's why I avoided any long term relationships, because I wanted something that I thought...__  
__what...would last...we know...that's what we have been trying to tell you all along...but you..._  
_I didn't listen...did I_  
_well now you are and that's what matters...now what are you going to do about it..._  
_um..._  
_um...that's not an answer...you know what you have to do_  
_but what if..._  
_remember what was said...'the heart wants what the heart wants' and... that's all we have to say...to you... the rest well...is something you...have to figure out._

This feeling she had right now, at this moment was intimate enough for her. Just holding him, dancing with him. It was also a huge and reckless risk. For it seem to demand everything that she had not to ruin what it was that they were sharing by telling him who she really was. She knew that eventually she would have to and then what, it would be all over again. Or would he have the love to forgive her?  
He too had been hurt in the past...but this lie might be the one thing that he couldn't get over. Beckett lets out a sigh, as she moves against Castle and the ache for him within her only deepens. She was losing control for the first time and she was enjoying it. She moves again, this time locking her hands behind his neck. She was hoping that he was going to kiss her again, but he didn't. Instead he leans in and whispers, "Come with me." His voice had an edge, a sexy edge, one that was turning Beckett on more.

(Beckett's mind:) _What?...did I...did he..._  
_that he did... he is...go...__  
__but I..._  
_just go with it...no worries..._  
_but I...want_  
_do that later...we..._  
_you just told me..._  
_that was before...now...go and have a little fun..._

Castle pulls back and takes her by the hand. "Come with me." he repeats.

Beckett couldn't believe what she was hearing him say. And he even said it twice.  
_(Beckett's mind:) Is this for real, did he want._  
_Yes he wants...believe and..._  
_I..._  
_yes you can...and you will..._this time she listened.

"I..." she takes a deep breath, "Sure, I..."

Hand in hand they slowly make their out of the lobby bar towards the elevator.

The elevator doors close, finally they were alone. After pushing the button that would take them to the 13th floor, Castle grabs her pulling her forcefully against him. Beckett could feel the heat rise between them. This was an invitation for more than just a kiss.

**To be continued...**


	18. Ch 18 this is not happening (again)

**Chapter 18 is here! Some of what happens in the following chapters, well let's just say some might not be made for TV...no really some is good for you. (Don't want to spoil where this is going or not going). Anyway hope that you enjoy this chapter and the ones that follow. Remember don't give up on this story, hint hint. anyway on the chapter (18).**

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**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**

**Chapter 18 this is not happening (again)**

Castle tugs at her shirt, pulling it out of her slacks. Stopping didn't accrue to either one of them. When his hand touches the bare skin of her stomach, the muscles contract sharply in pleasure.

_(Castle's mind:) ____I didn't mean for..._  
_you're a man let it go..._  
_but I..._  
_this is what you want...so just let it happen...with her...__  
__but I don't know who she is_  
_your heart does_  
_what's that suppose to mean_  
_follow what you know...follow me... _his heart adds  
_yes, follow your heart...listen to your heart...it knows what you don't..._

When his hand travel up more she starts moaning. Taking that is a good sign that she wants him to continue, Castle runs his hand up and down her back, saying nothing, just letting things flow.

_(Beckett mind:) ____Oh what his touch is doing to me. I'm losing all control._  
_I thought you said that you could handle this...handle...control..._  
_I..._  
_now you have to let it go...all of it_  
_but if I..._  
_you never had any control over him to start out with..._  
_You're right I couldn't control him and now..._  
_his taken over and you want him to..._  
_I do but I..._

A low, pleasure filled moan vibrates in her throat. His mouth leaves hers and trails down her neck line, to touch his tongue to the sound. By doing that though it gave her the urge to run her hands once again through his hair. The softness of his silky hair was turning her on more. He leans his head back enjoying the moment more than she knew.

"Don't stop," he manages to whisper, his voice was once again husky, and his mind was right this. It was getting out of hand. He was fighting not to just rip the rest of her clothes off her and having his way with her. "Don't stop that, I..." he swallows, trying to control his breathing. "Just."

_(Castle's mind:) ____I..._  
_you do need this..._  
_no what I need is to..._  
_I can't help you...I won't_  
_why?_  
_This is what you want_  
_yes but...not_  
_yes you do..._  
_I know trust..But in what I don't know..._  
_you know that too...yes you do...think..._  
_I can't...all I can think of is..._  
_don't ruin this...don't ruin another great moment...this is your moment together you and...The one that holds your heart...  
__my heart..._

Not understanding what his mind was telling him, he presses her harder against the wall. His mouth wanting more, and more. His tongue dances with hers whirling both of them away into a hot urgency sensation, swamping them until it was difficult for either one of them to think straight. Her hands automatically went to unbuckling his belt, then reaching to unfasten his pants. Beckett wanted him, wanted to feel him deep inside her.

_Could a person explode from wanting something too much._ She wondered. Grabbing her hands he murmurs against her lips-soft words, but with her mind in a dizzy fog she couldn't string any of it together to make any sense. Something about her skin and her warmth, something about needs.

_(Beckett mind:) ____yes I too have needs_  
_that you do..good needs...hungry needs...special needs that only he..._  
_ones I need him to fill...I want it all...his hands...the taste of him on my tongue...on my body..._  
_now you're in too deep_  
_I know but how do I..._  
_you can't..._  
_I can't go on... not like this..._  
_it's a little late to think that now...you just have to..._

Beckett almost told him who she really was. The words were right there just singing in her blood, pushing at her mind but so was that other voice. The one that didn't want to spoil the moment that they were sharing.

_(Beckett's mind:) __nothing to stop you now..._  
_I...have to tell..._  
_Not just yet...tell him in the morning when you...he.._  
_when it's too late...I..._

The elevator dings and the doors open. They circle down the hallway, kissing, hands searching, towards the room, his room. Without letting go of her he fumbles in his pocket for the key. Not an easy task with distracting hands sliding under his shirt and across his abdomen.

_(Castle's mind:) ____I know that I shouldn't let her in but..._  
_you do and you will_  
_then...I..._  
_do what you do best...__  
__do what I do best...I ..._  
_you do...trust me_

Castle swipes the card opening the door. Without thinking any more, he grabs her tighter, kisses her more as he leads her inside. His heart knocking against his ribs, he kicks the door shut with one foot and he pulls her into his possessive embrace.

_(Castle' mind:) ____now go farther..._  
_I can't... not like this...__  
__you can..._  
_no I can't..._  
_stop fighting this and you will know..._  
_know what..._  
_you will know it all._  
_Know all of what..._  
_why you feel this way..._  
_But I..._

He tries to let go of her, but some force was keeping her there in his arms.

_(Castle's mind:) ____I want you to think about what you are doing.._  
_What am I doing...__  
__yes..._  
_I don't know that's the thing...I just..._  
_you want her in your arms...in your life and even in your bed...  
__but I...  
she's already in me..._his heart says,___ always has been...  
what I don't...  
you will...  
_

He closes his eyes tight. Hoping that, that would allow his mind to clear. So he could think of how he was going to get himself to stop, or was this a sign that he should just take a chance.

_(Castle's mind:) ____What if I regret this in the morning?_  
_You wont..._  
_how do you know that I wont..._  
_you don't know how to trust very well do you?_  
_When it comes to this no...I just...don't want..._

The wanting her and only her swept through him like a fury fire, burning into his soul. He kisses her again, but knew that this was going to be the end of him unless he was able to stop once again. Somehow somewhere in some small pocket of his sanity he still possessed he had to pull himself back. Tortuously he began climbing his way back from the blink, breaking off their frantic kiss, breaking their embrace.

"I can't." He says panting. "I can't." Beckett shook her head.

(_Beckett's mind:) ____not again did he just..._  
_he did..._  
_but why, why now I thought...what is wrong with me?...__  
__it's not you, he's fighting himself..._  
_well how do I fix that?..._  
_you know how..._  
_but this is not the right time...is it?_  
_that's up to you..._  
_but what if he..._  
_if he still loves you...which he does... then he will understand..._  
_I don't think that he will...what have I done to him...he's right I should leave and..._  
_but not his life..._  
_what...I just..._  
_you know what he wants from you...what we want from you...just say it...just tell him...the words in your heart_

"Something wrong?" Beckett questions, glancing at him.

"I can't do this..." he takes her by the hand. "I just got my heart-broken. I can't be with someone right now. Not like this.."

"What? Are you turning me down for sex?" she herself found what she said to be shocking but that was something that she thought she needed to know.

_(Beckett's mind:) ____I had no right to ask him that?  
sure you did...he...  
but why would he do that again?_  
_you know why...his words..._  
_what words..._  
_those words...read between the lines...think Kate...the words will come...his words... the haunting words...the ones that you read...just think...__  
__is this some kind of test for...us_  
_maybe..._

"Yes, I can't have sex." his breathing was coming out in puffs. "Not tonight... I mean...I want to but... I really do," he says letting his pulse calm back down. "But," he swallows, giving him more time to think, if this is the right decision. (_Castle's mind:) Yes it is..._a female voice responds in his head. _What the?_ He slides his hand down his face.

That movement was familiar to Beckett. She knew that he was struggling with himself. _(Beckett's mind:)_ T_hat's why?_ _He..._ Her mind calls to her.  
_  
(Beckett's mind:) __That's why...he's...he's changing his mind...__  
__now you are getting it...listen to the words...see his actions...he_  
_he what?_  
_Just listen..._

"I'm... I think..." Castle stumbles over his words.

_(Beckett's mind:) Here it comes..._Beckett thinks._  
__shhhh let him finish..._

"I..." he sighs,

_(Castle's mind:) ____you can do this...  
_he needs to do what's in his heart...not...in his mind...his heart commented hoping that Castle was listen or at least thinking...for himself  
_I'm lying..._  
_no you're not...you're__  
__then why do I want this so bad...something...it's..._  
_you're...finish the thought...you know..._  
_I..._

Castle inhales, still smelling her scent.  
_(Castle's mind:) Remember your words..._  
_which are what...exactly..._

"I..." he stammers, "I'm too drunk and...I don't know, I just..." he shakes his head. "I can't do this...not anymore." he sighs, hating to do what he was about to do but he had to think about what is best for him. What was best for his heart and right now sleeping with a stranger was not what he needed. But then again this might be just what the doctor ordered he shook his head.

_(Castle's mind:) I... can I do this? It would be a first but...I need to...do this but is it the right thing for me?_

"what?" Beckett responds not thinking that she heard him correctly. Castle listens to her words, "Why wouldn't you, do that, have sex while you're drunk. Even to a beautiful woman like me. It's not like you will remember it anyway. Why not go for it..." now Beckett was just taunting him. Seeing how he would react.

_(Beckett's mind:) Are you seeing if he would really do it...or you just..._  
_he never has before...I..._  
_I told you his changing...  
I don't...  
this will prove it...all..._

"I..." he stops to think.

_(Castle's mind:) ____why would she tease me like that..., that sounds like something Beckett would say...oh Beckett...I...I'm sorry...I..._  
_stop thinking and act...follow...believe...love_  
_I..._  
_do it..._his mind was now taunting him as well repeating, _do it over_ and over and over

"Yeah, maybe tomorrow," _Did I just say that out loud thanks,_ "I just..."

_(Castle's mind:) I have to end this before I go crazy.__  
__I hate to tell you but you already are...crazy in..._  
_Out of my head...now...out of...get..._

Before Castle knew it, he was pushing her, gently towards the door, "I'm sorry to have to do this. I might regret it now, but it's what's best for me." without anymore thinking he opens the door pushing her, the woman that he was in love, gently out into the hallway.

"But I..." Beckett pleas, reaching out for him not wanting to leave.

Castle ignores her plea and gently shuts the door in her face. Hoping that she wouldn't think that he was being rude to her. Beckett standing the hallway, was stunned at what he just did to her. She didn't think that he had the will power to do that, not again. She starts to walk down the hall.

_(Beckett's mind:) ____wow. he...must..._  
_he's in love..._  
_but...wow I can't believe that...Castle just kicked a woman out of his hotel room, just like that. he really must be drunk,__  
__drunk on love..._  
_what?..._  
_he's still in love, he doesn't want to screw that up...he thinks that maybe there might be a chance...another chance at finding happiness...true happiness if..._  
_if what...I...__  
__yes if you...if you...would trust_

Then she thought about his words, "_I can't do this... not anymore."_

_(Beckett's mind:) ____Is he changing his ways_.  
She smiled, is_ he changing cause of me? Has he really falling in love so much that he is willing to do that?__  
__I_ _told you...he was willing to let go..._  
_what? S_he could feel the tears starting again. S_o he really was...he's willing to keep true to his words, __I mean he did just kick me out not knowing who I was,...he thought that I was a random woman who well wanted to be with him and he turned her down. That in its self tells me...  
__  
__yes..._  
_that maybe I should have told him everything..._  
_then you wouldn't have seen that..._  
_what? So this was like what a test for him..._  
_I didn't say that...but now that you brought that thought to light...maybe it was...maybe you just had to see that, that he was changing...for you to believe..._  
_I just...what did I do...What have I done...he..._  
_I could tell you what you didn't do...you didn't..._  
_I know that..._ she shook her head. _I..._  
_Make things right with him..._  
_How, I just got kicked out...out his room..._  
_No...No you didn't...the fake you did..._  
_The fake me?..._  
yes, so...  
_so...there might be...a chance for me after all...just how..._  
_Think, Kate think... there is an easy fix to this...just...__  
_

She blinks, the words of the man downstairs came to mind, _he said that they cater 24 hrs a day, that's it. _She snaps her fingers.

_(Beckett's mind:) I'll use room service. But wouldn't that be lying?_  
_Lying...haven't you been doing that all night? Who cares...__  
__I do..._  
_then don't..._  
_but I..._  
_then find away..._  
_I..._  
_you have to do what you have to do...to make this right...make things right with him..._

Castle stands by the door shaking his head.

___(Castle's mind:) __Did I just do that? Did I just kick a beautiful woman out of my room? What is wrong with me...I but those eyes. Why am I seeing those eyes, those deep deep eyes. They remind me of Beckett's. Beckett, what would she think if she saw me do this? Beckett, why am I still thinking of her? Now, I can't even look at another woman, even drunk...What is wrong...does she have...__  
__You under her spell yes she does_  
_how am I..._  
_you don't..._  
_what...then...how do I fix this...how do I..._  
_think hard...you do...know how to fix this... think of what you just did_  
_what? I just...I...kicked out a woman... I just_  
_yes you did but...breath in..._  
_What..._  
_breath in and smell...think and you will know...see...see deep but don't blink...and believe...find yourself...and in that you will trust...__  
__find myself what? I...what does that mean, breath in...Smell...think and see...see deep in what?_

He runs his hands through his hair. None of those words where making any sense to him. Then the word _eyes,_ pops into his mind. _What do eyes have to do with any of this...I mean...I don't_

Then he remembers the eyes of the woman that he was dancing with, how he got lost...and how...her touch...sent the spark that he couldn't get away from...the smell that..._oh that smell...no way that can't be her...is that the spell that has been cast on me...the spell of...the smell that wouldn't leave his brain._

_Beckett?_ He shook the thought before he had time to think about it farther.

_(Castle's mind:) ____it wasn't, she's wouldn't...but...you never forget eyes, deep to the soul. It couldn't have been. Could it? or is that just another one of the ghost that's haunting me. There's no way...but those eyes...why my mind is telling me to focus on that...what's so_...

Castle goes to the door and opens it. He was expecting to still see her walking away, but no one was there least not in his line of vision.

_(Castle's mind:) ____how could she just...was she..._  
_maybe she ran..._  
_why if I was..._  
_you would stick around wouldn't you...just to see..._  
_yeah, I mean I guess that's the difference between a man and woman..._  
_she's been scorned by you..._  
_don't remind me..._he lowers his head and lets out a sigh...  
_you need to be..._  
_what?..._  
_I told you that...you should have...let go_  
_but I..._

Still standing, peering out into the long hallway, Castle blinks, "There's no trace that she was even up here." He lets out another sigh, "And that will have to stay a mystery."

An image of Beckett appears in Castle's mind.

___(Castle's mind:) _But you have always ___been a mystery to me, Beckett. _He shuts his door, _Beckett what the?_ he shook his head. _Why can't I get you out of my head. __Am I really losing my mind? Can one __scent..the scent of one woman...do that to me?_

He swallows, "I just need rest that's all. And when I wake up...all this is going to be a dream...and I will have my answers." He gives one last look at his closed door and then walks to his bedroom.

_**To be continued..**_


	19. Ch 19 you can run but you cant hide

**Chapter 19 is up! This one is a really long one, I couldn't find a place to say "split" it into two so, I decided to put it up as one. Hope everyone is enjoying this story.**

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**Take a chance on me****  
****becastle:**

**Chapter 19 you can run but you can't hide**

**Inside the jewel-mont hotel (location unknown)**

Beckett stood at the edge of the main hallway, just out of sight of Castle's room, by the elevator.

_(Beckett's mind:) ____I just got kicked out of his room so how am I going to get room service up here._  
_You can always use your cell phone, hello? Or you could just knock yourself?__  
__What, then he will..._  
_no he wont...he's still drunk..._  
_I can't...I..._  
_oh, you don't want him to see you...but he opens his door to room service wouldn't you be seen then?_  
_I..._  
_you didn't think of that did you?...you couldn't think of much...not with..._  
Beckett swallows remembering his kiss._  
__More like earth shattering kiss...eeees..._  
_oh stop...I_  
_enjoyed them...I know...so did we..._

The elevator door opens. A waiter turns around pushing out a service cart, turning left going towards the 2nd hallway. Then turns to face Beckett.

Beckett swallows, hoping that she wouldn't get into trouble.

"Hey," the man calls, "Are you with the bridal party?"

"Um..."

___(Beckett's mind:) _Tell the guy yes, he's the one...  
_the one from down stairs the one that was with the manager...I_

"Yes, I...am." Beckett calls out, hoping that he would buy that.

"They are all down in the lobby dining hall." he responds opening the door to one of the rooms.

"Thanks." Beckett responds, letting out the breath that she was holding. The waiter just waves at her as he enters, just going about his business.

Beckett gets on the elevator, glad that he didn't recognize her and that she was not thrown out for being where she was not supposed to be. The elevator dings on each floor opening the doors. Beckett had to push the close button every time.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__Why didn't you just ask that guy to let you in up there and..._  
_Cause I..._  
_you weren't thinking that's why..._  
_maybe..._  
_wait you were, just not of that..._her heart says.  
_Oh shut up the two of you so that I can think..._  
_think away my dear...and I will continue to talk..._

**In one of the hallways:**

"No luck Vinny?"

"No you?"

"She's got to be here somewhere." Manny lets out a sigh, he went to every door on his assigned floors. Still he finds no one that matches Beckett's picture.

_(Manny's mind:)  
__Damn how hard can it be to find you? I mean...you couldn't have gone that far. Maybe...someone is hiding you...that guy...pretty boy..._He wrinkles his face. _Maybe we should be looking for him...maybe that's why you were here...following him...na, that's too easy._ He shakes his head.

"Is that all the floors?" Vinny scratches his head.

_(Vinny's mind:)_  
_We were suppose to find and kill you...you son of a...you are making us look back, if I get my hands..._

"Except the bridal suite, but there's no way that we can get up there."

"All of them are in the dinning hall, if you are looking for someone." a woman's voice calls from behind them. "It's in the lobby, all the way at the end." The both men turn around. Seeing the look on their two faces, the woman comments, "I'm just saying. I would try there." She opens her door and disappears.

"It's worth a shot." Manny comments walking past Vinny.

"I think it might be a waste of time." Vinny remakes.

"You always think my ideas are stupid."

"Cause they usually are..."

"Well," the elevator opens on the lobby floor, Beckett steps off. The two men glance up. "Look it's her, the..."

"Follow that bitch, she will not get away this time." Vinny yells, holding up his gun. Beckett and her cop sense kicks in she takes off running, bullets flying by.

"Get down, everyone get down." she yells as she runs through the lobby. People scatter in all directions, disturbing the gunman's view. Vinny pushes people down, "Get out of the way...before I shoot you too." He held the gun over one man, who was begging him not to kill him. "Uh... where'd she go." The scared out of his mind man points, "That way."

"Thanks." Vinny punches the guy in the face with the back of his gun, "You didn't see me here."

"Vinny, she's headed towards the back."

"Go after here, and don't be afraid to shoot her down."

Beckett was glad for the distraction, which gave her just enough time to hide among the crowds. She thought about going right out the swinging door.

_(Beckett's mind:)_  
_He could have someone watching the doors outside. I have to think fast, where.__  
__The bridal dinner is still going on._

She pushes right through the door. Everyone stares at her in shock. "Sorry police, I need everyone to stay calm and exit through the kitchen area." No one moves, "Now," she yells, holding up her badge just as the doors bang open. Screaming, all the guest do what they were told and head for the kitchen area. "What the hell is going on you guys. You can't be in back here." The manager yells.

"It is an emergency, a gunman just shot up our party." one woman hollers.

"A what? How?"

"Police sorry," Beckett calls.

"Hey it's you again. Disturbing the peace this time are we." the manager calls, staring right at Beckett.

"Out." he points to the door that she just came from.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__What's he trying to do..._  
_throw you to the wolves...don't listen to him..._

"But I." she tries to explain but the manager isn't listening to her.

"Now." the manager's voice is getting louder.

"If I..." Manny walks into the kitchen, seeing all the people he puts his gun to his side. Beckett lets out a sigh of relief.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__now what..._  
_think Kate..._  
_I have to get that gun away from him..._  
_that's not what I was thinking... Kate..._  
_then what?..._  
_Do what criminals do..._  
_what's that?..._  
_knock things over..._  
_You got to be kidding me...me do that.__  
__Either that or die..._

She pushes over a stack of crates. _Thata girl, now run._

"Ah," she could hear behind her as the rack of crates falls over causing an avalanche of food going tumbling down on Manny.

"I'm going to get you for this." he shouts waving his gun around. "Mark my words, you little..."

"Stand in line buddy, I'm first." another voice, one that she recognizes.

"Oh no, not him too."

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__how...I'll never hear the end of that one. At least Castle didn't see that mess that I made in here_  
_he would have loved it...he would have been proud of you._  
_proud for causing all that_  
_no for thinking on your feet...he already admires the way that you work...that's...that's what he likes the most of you...you surprise him..._  
_surprise him...what...is that..._  
_yes it is...and you know it...he thinks that...you're_  
_extraordinary...but I'm not..._  
_to him you are...and that's all that matters..._  
_what...I..._

She shook her head, _Castle, they're going after him. I got to get up there and fast but how..._ her thoughts are interrupted by someone touching her arm. She jumps.

"Who? What? ," the waiter that helped her find that Castle earlier, grabs her by the arm leading her to another room just off the kitchen area.

"I..." she turns to look at this person and is shocked at what she sees. "Oh wow," she says seeing a wedding cake on his cart. "It's...that's..."

Seeing how she was amazed at his work, he steps aside. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry about all the..." she lowers her head, shamed at what she did. All that time that was spent.

"Yeah well," he smiles, "It's okay, I would have done the same thing in your position. I mean that was awesome thinking on your part."

"I'll pay for it all. Whatever it takes, I just..."

(Beckett's mind:)  
_with what, ...how can you say that... if you have...how do I say that you don't have a job remember.__  
__I'll think of something..._  
_I know someone..._  
_do go there, I can't..._  
_you know that he would do anything..._  
_not this...I did this and..._  
_And what...you're saving the man for crying out loud_  
_saving him...right_

"We will deal with that later." the waiter said, not really caring about all the food, he just wanted to know what was going on and if he was going to die too. "What's going on, who is that man?"

"I don't really know,"

(Beckett's mind:)  
_yes you do_  
_who...it's not_  
_could be..._  
_then they really would be after Castle and they will stop at nothing...until we are both dead..._

"Someone who, I think followed my from NY. I..." she swallows, "I'm a cop. I..." She couldn't tell him that she was suspended and following Castle.  
What was Castle to her...he wasn't quite a boyfriend not yet. Even though she wanted him to be, he was just her partner, till. She didn't want to think that.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__he wants to be your partner and much more._   
_but I..._

"He seems to be after you. This, what would you call him...'a gunman.' " responds as he kept watch of the door.

"The both of us."

_(waiter's mind:)  
us, as in...the both of us... _

He faces her, now really worried.

(waiter's mind:)  
_So they might keep coming, stopping at nothing to kill...then..._

Beckett saw the look on the waiter's face.

"The man who I was following," Beckett decides to tell the waiter everything.

_(Beckett's mind:)  
It's not like he's going to know who he is anyway._

"Oh Mr. Castle, I know," he smiles, then it turns to a frown when he realized that Castle too could be in danger. "Is he in danger? Are they after Mr. Castle too?"

"I don't know. I just, I was..." she breaths heavily, in small puffs and pushing her hair back some. "I came down here to get room service up there to help me get back into his room. I got..." she couldn't say that she got kicked out. Then no one would help her.

_(Beckett's mind:)_  
_And since I caused all of this they still might not allow me back up there. They might kick me out of the hotel. Then..._

"I got..." Starts to explain but was cut off.

"Locked out," he chuckles, "It happens all the time."

Beckett has the flashback of how she was kicked out of Castle's room, just after his kisses shook her to her core.

"Something like that," she responds.

"Well, I can get you back in there." He winks. The door handle rattles.

"Oh no." (Beckett's mind:) if he catches me in here, she swallows, _I'm...Castle and I...I wont let that happen...I can't..._

"Here," The waiter lefts the skirt of the cart with the wedding cake. "Hide under here."

"Are you kidding me?" Beckett comments.

(Beckett's mind:) _But this doesn't seem like a bad idea. I mean...it's kind of clever, if you think about it._

"Got a better idea?"

"Not one that comes to mind." Beckett decides to take on the challenge of it. She balls herself up under the cart letting the skirt down just as the door opens.

An angry Manny stands there, covered in food. "Where is she?" he demands.

"Who?" the waiter swallows. "It's just me, making my cake." the waiter's hands were now shaking, something that hardly happens to him. He tries to hide his hand so that Manny doesn't notice.

"Damn, where did she go," Manny glances around the room. Beckett held her breath as she sees a man's boots walk closer to her, then stop.

_(Manny's mind:) I swear I heard talking in here but it's only this guy...um..._

the waiter watching the gunman's every move,

_(waiter's mind:) this guy gives me the creeps, I have to think fast, before he figures out that I'm hiding her._ He swallows," I told you that it was just me and this cake,"

_(waiter's mind:) how am I going to get her out of here without.  
_

"I sometimes talk to my cakes, and I was telling my cake that we need to leave here to get another party."

"Yeah, go," Manny waves him on. The waiter rolls the cart with Beckett out the door to the kitchen area. Manny follows, _damn that woman, that bitch slipped through our fingers again._ He took out his phone. "I lost her." he says through the phone.

"Where are you?" Vinny asks on the other end on the line.

"Kitchen, she has to be around."

"I'm still in the lobby no sign."

"Maybe the bar."

"I'm on it." Manny heads out of the kitchen, "I'm not cleaning this mess up." _What a weird comment that was,_ Beckett thought, _cause I'll be the one that pays for all of it...that might take the rest of my life._

"I have to get a few things," the waiter says, "And then I will get you upstairs, to Mr. Castle's room."

"Thanks,"

"Here," he lifts the skirt, "Hold this," He hands her a bucket with a champagne bottle in it, and a can of whip cream.

"For you and Mr. Castle of course." He winks, "It's the least that I can do." He laughs.

Oh the thoughts that flooded Beckett's mind. She couldn't help but smile back at the waiter.

"No really I have to make it look like I'm delivering more than just this cake up there for the camera. So if we get stopped, I'll be justified."

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__stopped_ Beckett thought, _then there is a chance that I could get caught. not good.__  
__Don't go there, Kate...  
__but I can't help not thinking that way, my imagination is running away with me... I think that I've been spending too much time with Castle and that he's been rubbing off on me...__  
__and more ways than one..._  
_get out of the gutter..._  
_why..._  
_that's for later..._  
_oh Kate I didn't think that you had it in you..._  
_I...just_  
_and that's a good thing to think like that... I like fantasies..._  
_I just want to see them or at least one...to come..true..._ her heart adds  
_to live them out you mean, that's what I want to happen but it never does..._ her body comments  
_will the three of you stop fighting and help me think..._  
_only if you act on your fantasies once in a while...__  
__I..._  
_all right let's help her out what can we do?_ Her mind responds.

The waiter enters the elevator and punches in the code to get back to the 13th floor.

"I'll drop off the wedding cake first then, I get you out of there."

"Thanks,"

"So what's a cop, doing with Rick Castle."

_(Beckett's mind:) with...we aren't_  
_one can wish ...right_  
_stop that..._  
_I'm just saying..._  
_don't..._

"I'm..." Beckett hesitates. "He's my partner,"  
_  
(Beckett's mind:) more then that and you know it.  
stop that...  
but it's true isn't it?...  
_uh...

"Ah, I see." the waiter scoffs.

"Oh no not that kind of partner, we..." she swallows, not wanting to use a past tense word...but that's what it was in the past. "used to work together. He was helping me on cases."

"And not anymore?" The elevator stops before she could answer. "Stay here," the waiter steps off the elevator looking down both sides of the hall.  
"Nothing, oh well," he gets back on and it continues up. "Wait, he was doing research with you wasn't he... you're Nikki Heat!"

He could hear her sigh. "I thought so and may I add that you look fabulous, just the way I thought she would look." Beckett was glad that the guy didn't see her blush. The elevator comes the 13th floor.

"We are here." the waiter announces as he rolls the cart to the end of the hall at the bridal suite. He lifts the skirt and helps her out. "Thanks I owe you one." Beckett calls as she straightens out.

"Don't owe me..." the waiter smiles, "Owe him..." he points to the other hallway.

_Owe him._ The words echoed in her mind. _That she will_ her mind thought.

"Now, let me get you back in your room." he winks at her.  
(Beckett's mind:) my room  
yes, he said that because it is...  
but I...it's...  
it is...you are now sharing it just like...

Beckett held back from the door just in case Castle answers.

"Room service," the waiter knocks, "I have room service for a Mr. Castle." he yells.

"I didn't order any," he hears a man's voice far off.

"Well someone did for you," the waiter yells back.

"Fine, just leave it, put it on my tab."

"Very well," he unlocks the door. Very little light shines in the room. The waiter can hear the shower running in one of the bedrooms. "I'll leave it in the den for you."

He motions the all clear to Beckett to follow him.

"Mr. Castle's in the shower." he whispers.

"How?" Beckett asks as she steps over the threshold of the door.

(Beckett's mind:) Should I be crossing this line?  
yes, and yes... once you do... things will not be the same but what in life ever is...  
what?...

"I can hear water running. He's in one of the bedrooms, I can't tell you which one, without..."

"Thank you," she whispers as the waiter turns to leave.

"Oh, and look if you or Mr. Castle need anything else, I mean anything." he winks, "Anything special just let us know. Would the two of you like breakfast in bed?"

"I think we'll sleep in." She couldn't believe she just said that. _Cause that's what we all want _her mind said _that's why._

(Beckett's mind:) _Am I putting him in danger by coming back...I mean if...  
no it's not...  
is that right...  
it's want you want...  
but at what cost...I mean there;s  
no time like the present...  
I know...  
but am I?...__too_ she lets out a sigh _is there a right time I mean...or have I waited too long?  
_that's...

she swallows, "Thanks for all your help."

"Very welcome ma'am enjoy the rest of your night." She shuts the door trying not to make too much noise.

_(Beckett's mind:) It's not like he could hear it anyway not over the shower,_ her mind thinks as she listens to the water still running.

_oh a shower...__  
__oh how I want to be in there with him..._  
_oh his wet shiny body dripping so silky wet...just like..._  
_oh his hands...out stretched...waiting...wanting..._  
_don't do this to me now..._Beckett cries.  
_oh yes we can...would you like an image to go along with those thoughts_  
_I..._  
_a fantasy is in order..._her mind says...and sure enough an image of Castle standing there with his dripping wet body arms out stretched out calling for her, that image now burned in her mind makes her shiver...  
_I..._  
_sweet dreams tonight...I will be back...she heard him say..._then the image fades.  
_Wait I..._

She shook her head, "What am I thinking..." She slides her hands down her face. "Why am I even here?"

_(Beckett's mind:) because You can run all you want but you can't hide...I will be in here forever...just waiting...waiting for you..._

The shower stops, the she could hear footsteps, his footsteps. "Oh no." Beckett hid in the other bedroom. She closes the door just in time, for Castle comes out with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He begins to rub his hair with another towel.

"I didn't order any room service," she hears his voice. "But oh well. Let's see what they left me this time. But really who would send me food at this hour?" Beckett cracks the door just enough so she could watch him. _Oh, no_, she thinks. _just like...__  
__your fantasy right...what can I say..._  
_you guys didn't do this..._  
_no we didn't how could we do that...but...whatever works...go to him...get...closer..._  
She watches him as he opens the covered tray.

"Champagne, strawberries with chocolate, and a can of whip cream , what the?" she hears him swallow. "Oh what these things can do to me..."

_(Beckett's mind:)_  
_do to him...what the..._  
_maybe a fantasy of his and with him dressed like that...oh man the fun I'm going to have with you...the images I can think of...the dreams I will give you..._

She rolls her neck at that suggestion, feeling like she was on fire and the heat was burning all through her.  
_I got to get out of here before_  
_before what we just got started..._  
_I..._  
_Kate, live a little...go for it...he's in there nude standing waiting..._  
_I...__  
__what are you waiting for...tell him already..._

She could hear him sigh again. "This is not something that I need right now, not after I just threw out my only chance to get laid tonight."

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__see he's still thinking about it, go for it...do it for me_  
_and me_  
_and me_  
_we need to feel this deep within...Kate, I'm begging you not to wait to much longer...the pain...I want the healing...if not for a little bit..._

_(Castle's mind:)__  
__I can't think about that...that's not...Beckett what have you done to me. What kind of spell did you put on me...oh how I want...so bad to..._he thought of her smiling face. _But I can't...damn why couldn't I just take that chance earlier, and maybe I could have...now...I...if there is...any chance..._he could feel hot tears running down his face. _Beckett I...why didn't...I just listen...__  
__cause you really love her...and..._  
_And what I..._he slides his hands down his face. _I screwed all this up...I'm not good at this love thing...as one can tell__  
__no Richard you didn't..._  
_mother what are you doing in my head?..._  
_you did this cause you wanted to help her find herself..._  
_and look at what it did to her...I got her shot and then..._  
_fell in love with her...I know...I knew if for a long time..._  
_and I did nothing and now I'm alone thinking about how much I love her...will my heart ever heal_  
_I don't know son, anything's possible...I found my one true love again after all those years so maybe..._  
_you're saying that I should hold on, a little longer...but for how long...I can't take it...I just_  
_only you will know that...only your heart knows..._  
_you're right... my heart does...but it's not..._he wipes the tears from his eyes.

"What am I going to do?" he plops down on the couch with a sigh. Then realizes he's still in his wet towel, with a groan he pulls himself up and goes to his room. Taking one last look at the serving tray, "one can't hurt," he picks up a strawberry and dips it into the chocolate. "That's better on..." he eyes the can of whip cream "Just what the doctor ordered." He leans his head back pouring some it into his mouth. "But still better if it's licked..." then walks to his room. Another image pops into Beckett's mind. One of the two of them together covered in...  
_(Beckett's mind:) now, see what did I tell you...the man's got it all...you can have so much fun with him...you just have_ to be creative...  
_he does have...away..._  
_you want to kiss him again don't you..._  
_I..._  
Beckett unsteady on her feet, lays down on the bed.

_You should be over there in his bed...not this one...__  
__but I made it this far..._  
_not far enough and he still doesn't know you are here..._  
_I..._

Castle tries to get some sleep in the bedroom across the room.

He lays with his hands folded under his head, staring at the ceiling.

_(Castle's mind:)__  
__I can't sleep..._  
_then let me,_ his body told him. _Would ya, I mean...I need it.._  
_Yeah but..._  
_I know you want to get back up and god knows what..._  
_no I just...__  
__just take some deep breaths_

Castle's takes in a few deep breaths.

_That's it...deep breaths and again and again_. His eye lids began to get heavier and heavier. As soon as his body thought that he was finally asleep then the tossing and turning begins. Frustrated about today's events Castle punches his pillow and rolls over once again kicking at the covers.

_(Castle's mind:) best not to think about it_  
_but how could I not... oh those haunting eyes they burn through me_  
_I'm never going to hear the end of this am I?_  
_well...I..._  
_you can't stop thinking about them or her...can you..._  
_um..._  
_you're bound and determined to keep a body awake aren't you.._ His body complains.  
_I... wait you're not..._  
_quit your thrashin' and get some shut eye..._  
_but I...can't_  
_you can and you will I'll make sure of that..._Castle let's out a long drawn out sigh and punches his pillow again.  
_you don't have to have a woman in your bed every night ...__  
__I don't I..._  
_that's what I was getting at now let me go back to sleep_  
_but I..._  
_but nothing...now go back to sleep...you can go find her in the morning..._Castle glances over at the clock._  
__It is morning..._He bolts up to a sitting position_.__  
__Me and my big mouth..._  
_hey, that's my line..._  
_just get up...but don't expect me to be fully awake all day._  
_I'll take care of that._

Castle can't take it anymore he gets up, puts on his robe and heads to the kitchen area. "Something to drink will do me some good."

_**To be continued...**_


	20. Ch 20- caught you

**Chapter 20 is up! Hope that you enjoy!**

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**Take a chance on me****  
****becastle:**

**Chapter 20 caught**

**Inside the jewel-mont hotel Castle's suite (location unknown)**

_(Castle's mind:) __No champagne...or anything alcohol ...or the chocolate...or the..._  
_I finished that..._he smiles, _it was good too...but better on..._  
_don't go there...no more dirty thoughts..._  
_who said..._  
_no wonder you can't sleep..._  
_why...is that..._  
_not exactly... you are on a...what do you call it...a sugar high..._  
_but I..._he passes the cart eyeing the chocolate, licking his lips.  
_Don't even think it...or the bottle_  
_I...want..._  
_no you don't...__  
_fine...

After drinking the cool water, he stood with the refrigerator door wide open.

_(Castle's mind:) What if I just stayed down there at the bar a little longer_  
_you could have ...would have been arrested_  
_me arrested...ha that's a joke...been there done that...and have the memories to prove it...but I still would have..._He lets out a sigh as he lets the refrigerator door close. _If I go back down there..._  
_then what...oh no you're thinking about finding her aren't you...  
_  
_I need..._  
_what about what I need..._his body asks.  
_You will have tomorrow, I might only have today. _His heart whined. Castle rubs his eyes with his fingers._  
__do you think they will tell me if she's here_  
_who..._  
_who the one that's downstairs_  
_I doubt that...but I could be wrong...she might not even have a room..._  
_what no room...then_  
_great going putting more ideas in his head his body complained._  
_they were already there...I just..._  
_brought them to his attention..._  
_yeah...I guess you could say that..._

___then that's where I start..._  
_what?...you're serious... his body reacted...  
__you know he is... once...we think of something we..._  
_go through with it I know..._  
_well most things anyway..._ his heart shot back._  
__What's that suppose to mean guys... I..._ Castle puts down the glass and heads back to his room to change cloths.

"I have to find her, who ever she is..."  
_  
(Castle's mind:) your curiosity is what is going to get you killed one day..._  
_but until that day...I..._

**_Inside Castle's hotel suite (other bedroom):_**

Beckett hears a door close in the distance, "what?" she mummers trying to focus on the room that she was in. She blinks her eyes which were gritty with fatigue "Oh, right." She blinks again, stretching letting her mind wonder, "The Jewel-mont. That's where..." She didn't know how long she had drifted off but exhaustion still burned through her body. She fought it off, for she had to stay awake. She had to focus on what she knew about these people...these gunmen. That was the only way she'd get them out of there alive. Both of them. So they could get home safely and then she could finally get some sleep, real sleep without any worries. Right now, she had to think of away to get them off the 13th floor without getting seen by the killers.

(Beckett's mind:) _how am I going to warn Castle that he's in danger...without..._

"Castle_..._The door," she bolts up and jumps to her feet having one of her cop reactions.  
_(Beckett's mind:)_ _What, if he..._ A shiver trembles over her body.  
_That was the front door I'm sure of it.._  
_Now Kate think before you jump to any conclusions._  
_I know all too well of these things...and...I'm just saying_

"Castle," she calls out walking to the den area.

___(Beckett's mind:) _easy he could be taking another shower  
_no I...I could hear him moving around__  
__all the way across the hall_  
_well_  
_it wasn't that... she could say... sence he was._

She goes to his room, just to make sure everything was all right. She notices the door slightly ajar.

_(Beckett's mind:) ____He's probably just asleep...her mind tried to tell her._  
_I heard the door_  
_could be anything..._  
_no something different...something's..._  
_and you can tell this how..._  
_she has spent too much time with him...knows everything  
not everything...her body whines...not his...  
well you should...  
_

"Casss...alll..." she swallows when she got no response, Beckett uses her foot to ease the door open so she can look. "Castle..." she whispers louder. still nothing, no movement nothing.

_Don't think it...I'm telling you...he's..._

Beckett sees that the bed Castle was sleeping in was a mess. All the bed sheets waded up in the middle, pillows on the floor and robe hanging over the lamp on the bed side table.

"He's not in here...where did he go off to?" she asks out loud mainly to herself.

_(Beckett's mind:) ____maybe he went down to find you..._  
_and that means that the killer could see him...I_  
_I think that the killer was more after you then him, I'm sure that he is fine but..._  
_but... I have to..._she swallows..._what if..._  
_stay here, listen if he's not back within twenty minutes...__  
__what stay here are you kidding I...and twenty minutes that's..._She walks to the door and places her hand on the door knob. Her mind has to think of something before she opens the door.  
_don't open that door Kate you don't know what you'll find..._  
_what I'll find...it might be..._  
_great thanks for saying that now she's more upset...her body added._  
_we don't know..._  
_you're right..._ she spins around. _I have to have a plan...S_he sees the room service tray, then has a flashback to getting under it just so she could keep an eye on him.

_(Beckett's mind:)__  
__and what does he do? leaves, leaves for what? oh no,_ she realizes that he was after her. _he was definitely going after me_  
_well, do you blame him...I mean..._  
_normally I won't but with_...she swallows,  
_take a seat and calm down._ This time she listen to herself even though she wanted to run out the door and after him once again.

_(Beckett's mind:) We will think it though..._  
_we..._she shook the thought. _why am I arguing with myself I need to be thinking of a plan...__  
__where do you think he would start?_  
_the bar of course...that's where_  
_we first met..._she has a flashback to that time, the time they were in each other's arms. A place where she wanted him to be right now, where she knew that he would be safe.  
_I just wish..._  
_he's fine..._

She blows out a breath through her mouth and sees the champagne bottle.  
_so he didn't drink any..._  
_don't even think it..._  
_what could hurt, just one sip..._she pours some of it in her mouth, not bothering to use a glass. _Maybe I'll think better on it._ One sip lead to another and another.  
_She's not really awake is she...her body asks..._  
_I would say no...Not drinking like that...she never has before..._

**Just outside Castle's suite in the hallway:**

Castle reaches the elevator and notices that something is wrong.

(Castle's mind:) _Those look like bullet holes, they have the same starburst patterns jagged ones._  
_Maybe..._  
_maybe? They are I know that look anywhere..._he inches closer so he could be sure, his fascination was taking hold.  
_So...are they? And if they are then why would there be..._

Castle glides his fingers down one. Ow. _Sharp just like I thought,. _After feeling the cut, he puts his fingers in his mouth.  
_Now look what you did...__  
__I..._  
_what did I tell you about touching things that you shouldn't..._  
I...

Castle could feel the hairs on the back of his neck starting to stand straight up. He knew what he would see inside the elevator if the doors should reopen. It would be just like the ones that he had seen before. For the smell told him everything.

The smell of blood, fresh blood. He was curious anyway. Dead bodies were nothing new to him, but...they always seem to fascinate him none the less. But this one he wasn't prepared for. He covers his mouth moving away what he saw. Blood was everywhere, dripping from ceiling, sliding down the walls and soaking through the floor. He couldn't tell even if there was a body.

He was about to scream but remembers there was another suite on this hall. And the killer might still be hanging around. He swallows the lump in his throat. This was a new one on him. He never seen one like this...so much blood.

_(Castle's mind:) Who could do something like this..._he shook his head. _That means there is a killer out here_. _One that doesn't show mercy. One that...is hunting people down..._So many more question running through his head but this time there was no Beckett to help answer them.

_(Castle's mind:) ____oh no, what about the woman...I totally forgot. I..._  
_what if she is the killer..._  
_a woman killer who did this..._  
_well there is a possibility..._  
_Not in all my days have I seen anyone do this let alone a woman..._  
_or..._  
_or what?_

The other elevator opens.

_(Castle's mind:) The killer's coming back, the killer's coming back_ his mind screams at him, but Castle froze just standing there. Staring. Staring hard.

"I did not do it." was the first thing out of Castle's mouth. _(Castle's mind:) __Why would I say something like that. A job hazard, I guess._

"Do what?" The man sees all the blood and faints right there in the hall.

(Castle's mind:) _great, just what I need other...scene.__  
__Ricky sit the man in the chair and get the hell out of there._  
_I just can't leave him...not with a killer on the loose_

Another waiter comes from a room of the bridal suite side of the hall.

"What happened,?" he asks, seeing his friend in a chair.

"He fainted," Castle starts, then swallows. "When he saw, the... .Blood."

"The what...? What blood?" The waiter walks closer to the elevator, sees the bloody shoes of what he believes to be attached to that of a body.  
But didn't go any farther to look. "Oh no,"

"I didn't do it?" Castle repeats.

"When did this happen Mr. Castle?"

"You know me?" Castle was shocked that this man knew who he was, for Castle had never seen him before. "Um..." shook his head a little "couldn't have been that long ago, a couple of hours maybe?"

"Was it that guy."

"What guy?" When the waiter didn't respond immediately Castle asks again. "What guy," he took a deep breath, "What guy?"

_(Castle's mind:) __did he know anything about this already and was keeping it a secret._  
_it's not really something that you want to talk to your guest about, I'm sure._

"The one what was after your friend...the one..." Castle stops listening then.

_(Castle's mind:) ____my friend what friend oh no not the...the one... I have to find her and if I..._  
_no you didn't cause this..._  
_but if..._  
_don't go playing hero._ His mother's voice rang out. _This is not like when you have...had...Beckett to cover you, there is no back up here. son if you have never listen to me before now is the time. Please now go and be safe let someone else deal with this.__  
__But mother I'm involved in it...it happened right here...on this floor...it's no coincidence_  
_oh right for there are no coincidences in murder_  
_right..._  
_but son_

"Get back in your suite and don't open your door to for anyone." the waiter yells when he notices that Mr. Castle wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. "I have the cops, on the line. They will be here shortly and we are on lock-down."

Castle hears the words and races back to his door. All kinds of images running through his head. _Only if...what if..._  
He slams the door, leans on the back of it and starts to pant. He runs his hands through his hair to relax and think.

(Castle's mind:)  
_Like that's going to help...what have I got myself into..._  
_focus on..._  
_on what ...why was this happening... now... here.._.He took a deep breath. _What is really going on. I should be safe up here shouldn't I? I mean no one knows... I m here_  
_she does..._  
_who does..._  
_hello..._a flashback to Beckett's shooting plays in his mind.  
_What does Beckett's shooting got to do with this...I mean...it's not like..._

Beckett? He blinks, for he thinks that he sees her again but this time. She was on his couch with... _this is not that ghost again... I don't think that I could take it. _Castle slides his hands down his face to help him erase the scene in front of him. _I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this._ He glances back over at his couch and she was still there curled up with the champagne bottle in her hand.

_(Castle's mind:) ____Beckett you drank all my champagne._ _This can't be happening. She wouldn't...I'm just dreaming all of this. No drunk Beckett on my couch, no dead body in the elevator, no gunman hunting me down, and no plane ride nothing. I will wake up soon enough and all of this will go away._

_No bad dream this is real..._  
_what...I...just haven't had enough sleep...yeah that's it._ He tried to convince himself. But he can't take his eyes off her. Then he think that he saw her move some.  
_get her a blanket for crying out loud..._  
_but this is all dream..._  
_no it's not..._  
_but ...I..._  
_just do it... and take the bottle from her...it looks like she had enough to drink.__  
__I..._Castle was too tired to keep arguing with himself..._why am I anyway._

He yawns, _I really haven't slept to well, these past days, since...since..._He walks to the spare room. _Something doesn't look right in here either. It looks na._ He gets a blanket and walks back to the den area. He gently takes the bottle from Beckett's hand and places the cover over her. _If I'm dreaming, which I think that I'm, then no one will remember this so...H_e leans over Beckett. "Sweet dreams my love. dream of me always," " he whispers in her ear and kisses her on the forehead, before walking back to his room. He glances back at her. _And if this is not a dream at least I know that you're safe teill tomorrow. _In his room Castle straightens his covers out and plops into the bed.

(Castle's mind:) _now can we get some sleep...now that you know that she's safe_  
_why is she here? I mean, how long?_  
_Question's later...she's safe and that's all that matters...now I want some sleep._ His body told him. Or _else..._  
_or else what_  
_you don't want to know..._Castle lets out a long sigh and stares once again at the ceiling.  
_you're not going to let me sleep are you...just close your eyes then..._  
_all I will think about is her...and the..._  
_that's fine...just do what you got to do..._Castle rolls over on his side, watching the numbers on the bedside table tick up. All he could think about was holding her in his arms..._oh how I want..._  
_go to her...and_  
_what..._  
_if being with her...if that 's what it takes for me to get any rest once and for all then be it..._  
_really,_ he smiles.  
_We have been telling you that all night,_ his mind chimes in...  
_What all night? I don't..._  
_now this is your chance.__  
__Chance...but I...but I can't just..._  
_wake her up...why...you woke me and kept me up_  
_cause I..._  
_I get it you have to make sure...you have to see for yourself...but I'm telling you she's not a ghost...  
_

He walks back to the den.  
___(Castle's mind:) _once you find out... will you let me get some sleep.  
frist I...I have to know.  
_but remember...__Curiosity kills..._  
_funny, I'll keep that in mind...when..._  
_when you finally hold her in your arms...__  
__what?_  
_Just...well make it fast...cause day light is once again here._

The sun's rays crept through the slight crack in the window curtain, shining down on Beckett's face. She was still there sleeping soundly.

_(Castle's mind:) oh how ____she looks like an angel...peacefully sleeping there...  
your angel..._  
_what I...then I wasn't dreaming was I?_  
_I told you so...now can you relax some._  
_I can try...but...__  
__oh no don't...wake her up...wait awhile..._

Castle stands there, just staring at her.

_(Castle's mind:) I have to know why she's really here..._  
_you know why..._  
_no I don't... last time I ..._he swallows not wanting to relive that in his mind.  
_you had a fight so what...all part-ners,_ his mind drags out the word, _have fights...that's...__  
__then why would she...be here..._  
_cause..._Castle blinks, his mind knew that his heart was breaking again. He could feel the tears coming.  
_I...just..._he sniffs, _I have to know for myself._  
_Come on now, you'll end up..._  
_end up what..._  
_putting me on the line again...but I am willing...if you are_

Castle lets out a sigh, _but if I don't I won't know..._ Castle makes a decision, he wants to go wake her up gently or so he thought.

Castle sits on the edge of the coffee table so he wouldn't be leaning, standing over her.

He pokes her with one finger on the shoulder , "Beckett," he whispers.  
nothing.

He pokes again, this time with two fingers and somewhat harder. "Beckett," he whispers a little louder. He thinks that she moves a little.

He leans closer to her and pokes her for the third time. "Kate, wake up,". The heat of his breath makes every nerve in her body pay attention, this time she jumps, in response.

"Easy now," he reaches out his hand but fights not to touch her.

"What are you..." she tries to focus, pulling the blanket over her.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing."

"What?" she looks around past him. For a short moment, he didn't move, letting her fully wake.

"Really Beckett, what are you doing here?" a pause.

_(Castle's mind:) She's here to help you  
Help me what?_

"Are you here about the murder?" he calls excitedly after thinking some.

"What murder?" _(Beckett's mind:) that...  
don't think let him finish...let him answer_

"The body in the elevator," _(Castle's mind:) the way that she responded it's like she didn't know about the murder.  
So fill her in...The both of you...  
you think this is a sign... I mean...  
__A murder? a sign….?_  
_we did have one before_, Castle has a flashback to the time when fate intervened, showing them that murder was the one thing that brought them together in the first place four years ago. (_Castle's mind:) My fate...it intervined just like..._  
_you mean like it is now...with her being here..._  
_I don't know...I guess...maybe it is...there's this one case we saved each other..._  
_and you think that this is what's happening now? _  
_I...don't know...maybe..._  
_there's only one way to find out..._  
_what asks...  
simple...  
_

"It's a real mess, blood everywhere..." _(Castle's mind:) and was it ever, really freak me out...  
and I'm just glad __that's she here aren't you?_ his heart smiles,  
_I..._  
_we all are or at least I'm..._his heart repeated.

"What? what elevator?," Beckett asks trying to understand all that he was telling her.

_(Beckett's mind:) Oh no, there was a murder... was that...that could have been... that could have been me, I was the target.  
_She has flashbacks of running through the kitchen making the mess, barely escaping.

_(Beckett's mind:) Did they find me and...Are they sending a message to me or him...I mean I led them up here...do you think...  
I don't know if these people know he's here. But then again...they know where I'm and now...did I...  
no, it was just a coincidence  
there are no coincidence in murder_

"Let's go let's go, I'll show you." Beckett could hear the excitement in his voice. "we have a murder to solve."  
_(Beckett's mind:) Did he just get excited about a murder?_  
_he always gets excited about a murder but I think this time it's more than that._  
_more than that?_

"Shall we..." he wanted to keep his mind off of her as anything but his work partner. "together."

_(Beckett's mind:) together?_  
_yes...he said together, that's what you do..._  
_she...they should be doing something else together...her body slides the line in._  
_that might not happen anytime soon with a dead body on their hands...her heart adds_  
_that could have..._  
_but it wasn't...now just go with it..._

"Come on," Castle calls.

He reaches out to her. But this time the pull was to strong, like he was meant to hold her hand. Her hand responds by reaching out to met his. then as their hands came together he could feel the spark shoot through him. One he felt before, hours before.

(_Castle's mind:) just like the ones._ His breath picks up. _Just like...  
yes at the bar_...his mind finishes his thought._ I...we know...  
__we tried all night to... you just wouldn't listen...  
was it her, was it Beckett? but if it was then how could I not know  
you were in love with her that much  
but I?  
just go with what you know and trust for once._

"You're not here about the...the murder...you didn't even know about it..." Castle's voice trails off. He swallows.

_(Castle's mind:) Touch her... touch her, kiss her... kiss her  
We know that you want to._

Before he knew it, he cups her face, "You're here..." he leans forwards and kisses her softly on the lips.

"Castle I..." Beckett notices that his fingers were red almost swelling looking, "What happened to your hand?"

"oh uh…" he had forgotten all about his hand until...she meantions it.

"Was that cause me?" She cradled his hand looking closer, sliding her fingers gently over them. He flinches and she could see the pain on his face. (_Beckett's mind:) I did this to him. _

"It's...no.." She cut him off. She could tell that he was lying to her and that he was still in pain.

_(Beckett's mind:) I...It was my fault. I…I have to...  
what? how?_  
_I have to make it right._

"Then allow me to fix It." Before he could argue again, she raises his hand and runs her lips across them.

_(Castle's mind:) Oh how that...Now she wants to play dr then...two can play I wouldn't mind._

"Consider me all of me at your deposal...All of me..." Castle was hoping that she would get his hidden messages.

_(Castle's mind:) All of you …..what are you doing  
__What I should have done a long time ago.  
__Finally..._

_(Beckett's mind:) __What did he just say,  
He wants_.

With his other hand, Castle lightly brushes wispy bangs back from her forehead. She closes her eyes to enjoy his touch, the touch that she longed for all night. when he saw the smile, one that said she was not practically ready to move anywhere he sat beside her on the couch. He murmurs in her ear, "Kate, I..." , She could hear the smile in his voice. "Nothing will happen...unless you want it to,"

_(Castle's mind:) I know I do._  
_Calm yourself Richard...not yet  
you said...  
well...I...  
you lied to me?  
_

"I uh..." Beckett stammers trying to find the right words.

For a long moment, neither one of them made move they just stared...his piercing gaze made her uncomfortable but she refused to fidget she had come this far and she wasn't going to give up. Finally he couldn't take it anymore.

_(Castle's mind:) I can't take this__..._why am I tell you this, you already know it...you're the one that has been telling all kinds of things  
_and are you listening_  
_well..._  
_the answer to that is no...so this time reach a little out to her and..._  
_I know..._  
_just cause you know it...then act on it..._

She didn't move, when he finally reaches out to trace a line across her cheek bone, she thought she's explode from anticipation. "I know what you're thinking," Beckett comments.

"Are you sure?" Castle wasn't even sure he knew. Yes he wanted her more than ever but when is it ever the right time.  
(Castle's mind:) whenever you want it to be...  
but I...

She clutches his hand to her face and inhaled his scent, "I don't…"  
She touches his mouth with her fingers to silence him, "I know what I'm doing."

_(Beckett's mind:) or at least I think I do_  
_you are on your own we told you where we stood now it's up to you. _  
_well this is what I want..._  
_then go for it don't ask us for permission_

"This is what I want...Castle," he smiles at his name, "You is what I want."  
A satisfied grin swept across his face, "It is."  
_(Castle's mind:) Castle..._  
_I know..._  
_then..._  
_then what..._  
_this is...act on it..._

"I know you want... This to be special." She Holds up a finger to stop him. He kisses them. "Me too... I want...Our first time …I don't want to... share it with anyone or ...(a ghost)

"Castle you know that I don't believe in ghost."

"You don't need too, I get it ghost….things in the past... I know... anyway I have a better idea."

_(Beckett's mind:) Better idea then having sex? Is he?  
I would say so._

"Let me take you home."

(Beckett's mind:) _What did he just say?  
I think he…  
he's asking….  
more like telling  
should I go?_

_(Castle's mind:) Did I just say that? I don't have a home…._  
_not that kind... home is…_  
_is what?_  
_home is where your heart is_  
_heart... what?  
__you love her don't you?_  
_you know that_  
_then show her...__start…start now….__take her away from this... all of this...  
__like __something special….._  
_now you're getting it...  
but I...  
__and she didn't answer...I know so...__talk to her…..change her mind…feel it in your soul._

"I want...let me make it special then…." he gave her a devilish grin.

"Castle I…." He takes her hand and pulls her to her feet.

She doesn't hesitate this time, she goes with the flow. She glances into his eyes.

"Come home with me." Castle pleas.  
_  
(Castle's mind:) come on Beckett I'm not asking for a marriage _  
_well not yet_  
_what? I just_  
_you might later...trust_

"I…I… just…" He wrapped his arms around her tighter. Just holding her.

"Please," he whispers in her ear, "I'm only asking..." she has flashback to the time that he asks to have pictures of the dead bodies. The ones that his copycat was doing of his books. She remembers how he didn't up.  
_  
(Beckett's mind:) and this, seems in no way any different except that he wants you to come home with him. He's not going to give up. He's not going to give up on the two of you.  
then why should I? I mean..._

(Castle's mind:) _I know what she needs right now. a slow and long kiss that will..._  
_I hope it does_  
_it will..._

Beckett let her hands travel over Castle's body then starts to slides her fingers farther down him.

"But Kate if you keep doing that I might just have to take you right here on the floor..."

"What's stopping you.."

"Why Beckett...I..." then the door burst open. Three masked men enter grabbing Castle and Beckett by the collar, ripping them from each others arms, slamming them both against the wall. Castle had to turn his head quickly facing hers in panic.

"Take me, leave her out of this." he yells trying to be the hero like always. He didn't want her caught up in this mess again. but who where they really after,  
"Touching but no." Vinny responds.

Castle recognizes the voice. _(Castle's mind:) That's the same voice that was at 'Last man standing' bar that I was at. Did I do all of this? I mean...me and my big mouth got me_...he closes his eyes, _us in trouble again...and now...possibley killed..._  
_it wasn't your fault...it was just a coincidence_  
_no it wasn't...I..._

"Is that her?" The man in the middle of the room asks looking at the two of them.

"Yeah, that's her that's the one that we..." The man takes a few steps forward, "She's" Vinny continues looking at the man, "I should say," Stares back at Castle then to Beckett. "They are..." he gives a little laugh.

"They are like cockroaches. They never die, she's..." touches Beckett's hair. "she's been shot, blown up, drown and even dropped from a roof top, but some how she seems to survive," he chucked some. "And him, I don't know where he comes from, he just appears." Vinny smiles "But not this time, sweetheart." He runs his hands down Beckett's hair again. _(Vinny's mind:) What a waste, I would love to touch all of you._ "You both die." Beckett swallows staring at Castle, who was staring back. Fear was now taking over in her eyes, real fear, something that Castle never saw in Beckett. He always thought that she was fearless...now he saw...(Castle's mind:) _what_ he thought. _the real Beckett...the one..._

"Frisk them," Vinny who was pressing Castle up against the wall, laughs, "Writer boy, here, carry a gun . hahah. That's a joke."

"No but she does." the man points at Beckett. "She's a cop."

"Frisk her, Manny." Manny hesitates for a second thinking. "No I have a better idea, bring her here." Manny swallows, "Now." shouts the man.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, grabbing Beckett by the shoulder. "But I have a job to do."

The man ties Beckett's hands together and starts to frisk her.

Castle can't stand, watching this man with his hands on her. He starts to struggle to get free.

"Hey that's..."

"Oh," the man turns to Castle and winks. "Jealous, are we." he slides his hands down Beckett's leg again just for good measure, which makes Castle more angry, Castle struggles again . "Thought so," the man whispers, sliding his hands where he knows she wouldn't carry a gun.

_(Castle's mind:) If I get my hands..._  
_don't they will kill her and you..._  
_but..._  
_I know that you love her but..._  
_what am I just suppose to let him do that to her...he's bacicly..._

"They're clean...a little to clean..." the man calls, wondering why Beckett didn't have a gun on her. _(man's mind:) that makes no sence that she wouldn't carry one...unless...we didn't even find a wallet on her...what's with that...that means only one thing...she's not here as a cop then what...his eye brows went up. then this should be easy..._

"Let's go this way."

"Where are you taking her." Castle screams out, fearing that this man might do more to her then he wanted to think about.  
_(Castle's mind:) don't go there..._  
_how can I not...he's taking her away to do god knows what...I have to stop him..._  
_and how do you plan to do that..._  
_I don't know...I just know that...I can't stay here...not..._

"You move again, Mr. Castle and I'll blow her head off and let you watch." Beckett lefts her eyes full of tears...fear...whispers,

"Castle I love you, always."

Castle blinks. That's the words he was looking forward to hearing from her but did they come to late?  
"Kate..." Castle struggles to get free. "I..." but she's already out of his sight.

"Now," Vinny kicks Castle in the back on the knees making him fall down. "Ow,"

"I told you not to move didn't I..."

"You're not going to get away with this." Castle yells. _(Castle's mind:) will you shut up, his mind told him, you're not helping this and you are going to get the two of you killed for sure._

"We already have," Vinny responds pressing the gun to the back of Castle's head, he could hear the click. Castle close his eyes and swallows. Castle figures if he was going to die right here right now , he got to hear her say...he knew...her words those words... those three little words echoed in his mind and his words ones she wouldn't hear back.

"Any last words, writer boy. Before...I pull the trigger and let your girlfriend suffer, watching you die, and there's nothing she can do..." There were plenty of words that he wanted to say to both the men and to...he could feel a tear slid down his face. ...words he wanted to say to Beckett that now he might not get to say to her. He wanted to let her know that he was sorry for everything.

"Open your eyes. I want the last thing that you see is the scared look in her eyes." Not really wanting to see that, but thinking that he had no other choice, Castle opens his eyes and looks at Beckett. Tears are running down his face, he swallows. Manny walks her closer. "Beckett...Kate I..." He whispers. "I love you."

"Always. I know." she closes, letting her tears flow. "me too."

"Now neither one of you blink." presses the gun harder into Castle. He could hear Castle's slow sigh and whispers bang. At that moment Castle thought his heart was going to stop, when he heard a bang behind him.

"No!" Beckett screams, after only hearing the shot. Seeing the two of them laying on the floor, with blood all around, seeping into the carpet, not knowing who's it was...She struggles to get free from her captor. "Castle..."

to be continued...

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**I would have posted more but something happened to my chapters, they are not in order...I know this one is but the others...I hate it whe that happens...anyway I sorry to leave you hanging with this one...well maybe not (don't hate me!) later chapters coming later this weekend...I was hoping to get the rest of this one up by the end of next week but right now it maybe delayed oh well... hope you enjoy!**


	21. Ch 21-Dont blink

**Chapter 21...I found it...hiding...anyway hope you enjoy!**

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**Castle: take a chance on me**  
**Becastle**  
**chapter 21- Don't blink**

"Hold her back!" the man calls "Vinny he wasn't suppose to fire. But what ever works." He see the window with a bullet hole through it and what he believed to be brain matter dripping off the wall. (man's mind:) _Last time I left bodies they seemed to I don't know, come back to life... who fired at my men, I don't know and care. Now I have one less to get in the way_. He leans over Castle excepting to find him dead with a bullet hole through his head.

But nothing, not a scratch on him, Vinny's blood yes everywhere. He taps Castle, who moves some._ (man's mind:) see what did I say, Vinny said they never die...he was right...never mind that, I take him out when I kill the girl. _The man lefts Castle up. "Get on your feet."

"Ow, easy, I've just been shot,"

"You seem fine, as for," he kicks Vinny in the foot. The foot just falls back. "him not so much,"

"Not funny," Castle cracks a fake smile. He takes in a deep breath. He didn't want to die. Not like this. Not without another kiss.

(_Castle's mind:) Another kiss you want more...and you know it... I told you to take the chance when you had it and now..._  
_oh shut up I did what I had to do... I don't regret it. _  
_I just wish that you had taken that chance _  
_I know I wish you had to..._his heart complained. _Then I could have been free free to feel the truth._

"Let's go," he pushes Castle forward. "Now,"

"You're not going to get away with this," Castle yells at the man after his nerves recover from the gun scare.

"We already have, no one knows about the two of you. It was only suppose to be her but since you got in the way, we will have to get rid of you too. and it looks like we got company, company I didn't expect."

_(Castle's mind:) company he didn't except, how?_  
_easy to me I see people can hide under our noses..._  
_great more gunman... just what we need..._  
_what we need is a plan out of here before..._  
_I know but i got nothing and if...if I did we would be gone...safe..._  
_you mean in each other's arms...or should I say bed..._  
_funny..._  
_funny but true..._

"Now grab the bag and let's go." the man interrupts Castle's thoughts.

"Go where?"

"You know that you ask to many questions." Manny comments as he pokes a finger at Castle. "You heard the man now move."

"I Just..." he let his voice tail off when he got a glimps at Beckett.

"We are walking both of you to your death bed. And this time there are no second chances..." the man gave Castle an evil grin. "For either one of you."

"Now walk. Anything funny and I start shooting," They all enter the elevator, "basement." Manny leans over and presses the B button.

"For real," Castle's comments, "In a dark basement?"

_(Beckett's mind:) what are you afraid of the dark, Beckett's mind joked, _  
_stop that._  
_I was just...saying..._  
_well don't..._

"That's where you're going to kill us."

"Castle." Beckett calls, wanting him to shut his mouth for once. This wasn't helping their situation but she didn't know how much worse it could get. They were being led to their deaths and this time...she didn't want to think about it but her mind didn't want to stop thinking.

_(Beckett's mind:) This time there is no back up..._  
_but...Ryan...he knows..._  
_there's no way that he could get here if he wanted to. and after what did just happen, she swallows. The odds are..._  
_I don't know, I'm not that..._  
_how many gunman are gunning for us..._  
_at least there are no window_  
_funny...now you are joking like Castle would._  
_you know why he does that,...he does that cause he's scared and he doesn't want you to know that..._  
Beckett lets out a sigh _but I do...at least..._ she glances up to look over at him.  
_at least you will die together..._  
she shakes the thought _no we won't...you just wanted to get me aroused..._  
_I did no such thing...but..._  
_well, it's working...cause now I'm pissed..._  
_what did I do?..._  
_we will think of away..._  
_go luck with that..._  
_I just have to think of something..._

"How did you find us?" At this moment Beckett wanted to strangle Castle.  
_(Beckett's mind:) good thing that my hands are behind my back. does he ever shut up...I mean...if he does then maybe I can think of something. _  
_that's what he does. He always has to know, but that's what get him into so much trouble. _  
_maybe he could help me find away out of here...instead of..._  
_it's his way of not having to think...he doesn't want to..._  
_he doesn't think we have a chance does he?...  
he just doesn't want to think about what will happen...and I don't want to either..._

"Why does that matter mr. Castle?" The man says, not really wanting to answer a bunch of useless questions.

"We did." Manny smiles then says, "It was easy we_...(Many's mind:) well, it's now I without Vinny. _I just followed...her..."

Beckett knew that this was all her fault and that confirmed it that she was the one that got them into this mess and possibly killed. (Beckett's mind:) _So they followed me and I lead them right to Castle. now it was I..._

Beckett knew there was no doubt in that either that she was the one that could lead both of them to their deaths, _it __was all my fault, what have I done._ she swallows.

Manny points to Beckett.

"We didn't know that she'd lead us cross country, she must really be in love with you to do all that."

(_Castle's mind:) She is and I know it now, she did all of this for me and what did I do.._  
_you loved her back...we told you..._  
_and now...I'll..._  
_yes you will...you always do..._  
_but this time..._  
_it's not over..._ Castle's blinks to rid his eyes of the tears that began to build up.  
_I know...till the fat lady sings or...he let's out a sigh or we get shoot in the face._

"I mean it wasn't hard to find you the announcement and all told us everything." Manny went on.

(_Beckett's mind:) announcement what announcement?_ then she thought of the airport and all the press and stuff. _Gina she no not that...but she did want...want me... that's why..._

_(Castle's mind:) oh no not Gina's...she did this to us by announcing my...our arivalal. I...  
you can't blame her it was..._  
_no but she had part in this...I just..._  
_she couldn't have seen this coming none of us could have..._  
_she was trying to get back at me and Beckett and well, it might have worked..._

"All we had to do was follow the taxi." Manny continues.

"You are the ones that shot it up," now Beckett understood a little more at why she was the target.  
(_Beckett's mind:) I'm not Castle...so I did...now he...we both  
don't say it...  
_"Shot it up Beckett," Beckett glances over at Castle. "They try to kill you." she looks him in the eyes, tears flooded his, he swallows "And I wasn't there, for you." he mouths to her.

_(Castle's mind:) you're here for her now and that's all that matters..._  
_but I might have lost her earlier just because I...He sniffs. and..._  
_and you didn't my son..._

"They," Beckett was going to explain to Castle but Manny interrupts.

"We did...but she escaped us. She hid...and I say real good. It took us awhile to find her..."

(_Castle's mind:) she could have died today...because I  
__don't play the blame game do that later..._  
_I didn't know...if I had...  
what...never...left...you were...  
what...I was being..._

"Yeah we lost her...till..." Manny continues without missing a beat. _(Castle's mind:) there's more..._  
_who cares..._  
_I do...she's_  
_Beckett will tell you later_  
_I want to know now...and she...doesn't tell...not everything...I see_

"Till...How," Castle asks before he could stop himself.

"Oh your friend Trixie," he laughs. "Was helpful. (_Manny's mind:) even though she didn't know it._

"What did you do to her?" Castle struggles trying to get free. He was getting angry at Manny. He wanted to kill him.

(_Castle's mind:) don't_ his mind screams _you know what will happen if you..._he relaxes and stays still  
_if he did..._  
_why would you care..._  
_not care..._  
_don't say it..._ his heart comments.  
_she's...a friend..._  
_don't go there...not now...not ever..._  
_I do love Beckett..._  
_then...stop thinking about..._he shook the thought  
_my mind's right I can't_

The question and his action disturbs Beckett.

_(Beckett's mind:) how could...does he?_  
_no he loves you...he admitted that...you also knew it..._  
_but..._  
_Beckett trust me he loves you...he wouldn't..._  
_I wouldn't be so sure_  
_I'm...her heart calls to her_  
_me too...her body adds_  
_everyone is...we all know that he loves you it's just..._  
_that's my point..._  
_what I was going to say is that he doesn't want to see anyone get hurt in this..._  
_you're right I just..._  
_trust in us..._

"We followed Trixie to the bar. We just...waited after that.."

"What did you do to her, you didn't..."

Manny laughs, "She wasn't worth our time, we needed her."

"As in..." (_Castle's mind:) as in bait for me?_ Castle's mind thought _that's not...bait for me all this...  
no you didn't...this was a set up...he knows you love beautiful women_  
_one woman_ he glances a look at Beckett but she wasn't looking at him.  
_they thought that Trixie would lead to you_  
_and then...me to Beckett...which is what happened._

"You girl just don't die even."

"What?" Castle glances back at Beckett then back to Manny. "You, shot the elevator too."

"No that wasn't us. We just followed it to the 13th floor." Manny let out a sigh. "We didn't except to see," his voice trails off.

"To see what," Castle was now intrigued at what was being said. (_Castle's mind:) What else was going on?_

"A sniper, that damn sniper."

(_Castle's mind:) oh great just what we need...another killerand a sniper at that...  
_  
"So there is a sniper that is gunning for us to."

"That's why our plans had to change." Manny snorts.

"so the dead body in the elevator,"

"Not ours...we..." Manny shook his head. Remembering that he had to ride up the elevator with the dead bloody body. something he will never forget. "We had to ride up there with it.. we had you and then..."

Castle's remembers the man standing behind him and then he heard the shot again, watching the scene play out in his mind. (_Castle's mind:) so this sniper was the one that killed the man that was behind me..._  
_so..._  
_so, I don't know...it just seems odd that if he was shooting at us...he wouldn't have killed both of us...I just..._  
_you should just be lucky and thank that the guy couldn't shot..._

"That's why we are going to the basement so the sniper..." _(Castle's mind:) wouldn't get another shot at us..._  
_are at them..._  
_why would they..._

"Yes," _(Castle's mind:) which is worse a sniper or an assassin? both are...  
don't think of that..._

"That sniper, the son of bitch, keeps getting in the way. It's like he's protecting you."

_(Castle's mind:) a protective sniper now that's a twist to this story... our story. but that could that really happen a good kinda sniper one that protects? never heard of one..._  
_the only one that...that fits is..._  
_don't say his name..._  
_we know..._  
_then that would make...__ that would be so cool but are there such things, that would make him a spy not a sniper right_  
_your imagination is getting way with you._  
_that's sounds like something that Beckett would say...but what if it were true...I mean what do we really know about...about any of these people_  
_this is not one of you cases that you can solve..._  
_my point excatly...it's not... not one of your books either  
but would make a good twist of fate, a good story to tell...one that I'll never_  
_yes you will_  
_stop saying that_  
_it's true...how is that..._

"I guess I must just be lucky."

"Well your luck has just run out. for the both of you." Beckett closes her eyes not wanting to listen to this anymore, she wanted to think of a plan to get out of there.

The elevator jolts to a stop and the lights went dim.

"Ah" Castle screams, and jumps like he'd been shot at again.

"Castle." Beckett shot open her eyes and starts to have a flashback to the time she opened the elevator at the percent, to find Castle laying on the floor then stumbling out with his scared little boy look. He thought that she did that as a joke which she told him that she was crawl but not that crawl. She remembers his words something about water and that of throwing up. _(Beckett's mind:) is that how he feels right now? The same way he did back then? Another round of fears going through him? Is that one of his….Just like…._ The elevator jolted again and then starts to shake. _are we…..is this..._ she swallows not wanting to believe.

Castle glances at her hoping that she didn't think that he was a fool for his jumpy auctions. (_Castle's mind:) I wonder what she's thinking over there. is she's thinking the same thing I'm….I'm…..  
Beckett knows that you are scared. She's probably scared too.  
__I should be able to think of a way out of this…think…._  
_And you will….._ Castle takes in a deep breath held if for a second and let it out.

_(Beckett's mind:) He is scared, I can read it in his eyes,... _Castle runs his hands down his face, then stares at the ceiling. _he's not faking it...he's...what..._  
_maybe trying to calm himself ..._  
_by looking at the ceiling...it's like he's waiting for...  
what the other shoe to drop... _her mind joked.  
_funny...that's...__  
Maybe that's what you need to do...  
what? wait for...the shoe to drop...  
no what I mean is think of something other then..._

The elevator shook again.

(_Beckett's mind:) Oh no here we go again but this time I'm,….we're….  
don't go there stay in control..._  
Beckett swallows _but I'm not._ She glances over at Castle _neither one of us are_. Beckett smiles trying to tell Castle that it will be alright. He smiles back even though inside he was a total wreck.

(_Castle's mind:) She's trying to tell you you that everything's …..  
but it's not….and ….we know…._Castle swallows. _Is this how it ends for us caught in an elevator away from each other._  
_I…. if you make a step…_  
_it would be better then being…._  
_don't want to think about that…._  
_how can I not?_

The elevator starts again and then comes to a complete stop at the lobby.

"Why are we stopped?"

Manny shrugs, "I don't know? But I do have a another plan."

"And what would that be?"

(_Manny's mind:) what he actually going to listen to me Vinny just thought I was stupid and look at me now I caught the one that he couldn't, and I caught both of them. Now I get to watch them die._

"Well," the man's voice had that inpatient voice.

"Well, first we pretend to be cops tell them that we have to get them to the plane for their safety."

"Are you sure that will work?" I doubt that but it's worth a shot cause I got nothing.

"Yes, because one they don't know who they are looking for and…"

"So they won't expect…the killers to." (_Man's mind:) good idea kid maybe he wasn't the stupid after all except in trusting me as soon as I get them out of here…to the plane then I will kill him and….there's no need to keep him alive I got what I wanted and now…._

"Right then we…."

"Walk right out the door and are scott free. Well, some of us." He leans Beckett closer to him. "not for the two of you." He whispers in her ear.

(_Manny's mind:) he like my idea, way to go Manny if I do say so myself. Finally some one let me have my idea in motion. Who's number one now Vinny, I'm number one. I'm number one._

The doors to the elevator open at the lobby. Castle swallows. _This is it….._

"You found them alive." Calls a cop as he sees the two of them with Beckett and Castle. "Thank goodness we have all been on edge…did you see?"

(_Manny's mind:) now for the rest of my plan to work._

"No we didn't see the killers but we have to get them out of here we have a secure plane waiting."

"You guys thought of everything didn't you."

"Yes," Manny laughs, "Yes we did." Manny pushes Castle some.

"No, it's ladies first." The man pokes Beckett. All four went right out the lobby doors with no problems. (_Man's mind:) I can't believe that that stupid plan worked. We just fooled some of the best…we got out right under their noses. who's the idiots now? Suckers….._

on the plane

"Funny how things work out Mr. Castle isn't it? You wanted to be together now you can. You two can die together now sit down and shut up." The man yells shoving Beckett in a seat.

"Go shut the door Manny." the man tells Manny after he places Castle in the seat next to Beckett. Manny sits right in front of Castle thinking he is finished until after the flight. He faces Castle wanting to make one more statement.

"You started all of this," he points a finger at Castle, "If you had just left things alone, then the world would be a better place for all of us. We would have never had to..." (_man's mind:) does this man ever shut up? he is so annoing.I need to get rid of him but I can't just...yes, I can that way the cops something to do and they won't be following me._

the man glares at Manny. "right, I just had to say that," and with a sigh Manny was quite.

"Before you get comfortable Manny, will you go shut the door. " Dragging himself out of the seat Manny walks towards the open door.

"Hey," the man says to him when he reaches the door. "One other thing," Manny turns to face him. "You still couldn't do the one simple tasks that I asked you to do."

"But I…"

"Not all the way," the man lefts the gun and fires hitting Manny right between the eyes. Beckett and Castle watch as the body tumbles down the stairs. "That will keep the cops busy for awhile," he faces them. "And by that time the two of you will be dead as well." the man walks off leaving Castle and Beckett time alone. "Now get this plane in the air now!" he yells. "And no stops one way trip to hell." he turns to face Beckett and Castle again. The man gives her an evil grin. _pure evil at it's best._ Beckett thought. _He knows that he has us cornered_. "And that is how things are done the right way."

A few moments later:

"They're not going to shots us up here to many things could go wrong but when the plane lands." Castle swallows. "They are going to kills us." Beckett closes her eyes she knew that this might be her finally hours. He reaches for her face. "I..." He slowly kisses her, "If I'm gonna have to die today, like this, I wouldn't have it any other way. To die with the woman that I love beside me."

"Rick...I..." he places his hands up to her lips to make her be quiet, for he's not finished. "You may see it as being selfish but..." he shares a smile with Beckett. She cups his face and kisses him again.

"Not at all. I just wish...last night..."

"Or this morning...I would have but...I just couldn't...not..."

"I know...you're not the kind of man that I thought you were." she turns from him.

He chuckles, (_Castle's mind:) Not the man...,_ then the words sink in..._not the man...what does that mean..._  
_just that, she..._  
_but I...is she saying..._  
_she's saying that you aren't the man that she thought she knew..._  
_what? I..._  
_oh she knows..._  
_but how I...is that a bad thing..._Castle runs his hands down his face...He has a flashback to the bar. The scene played back. _Beckett that was her, at the bar...no couldn't have been...I danced with her and...if it was her I would have known right...or was I that drunk..._  
_yes, yes you were...I told..._  
_what...you told me..._  
_yes, plenty of times..._  
_and I..._  
_ignored me...now will you listen to me..._  
_and me...his heart adds_  
_and me... his body comments as well_  
_yes, yes I will...if..._

She gentaly held his hand interlocking her fingers with his.

"I'll never know... I'll never..." Beckett continues.

"We still have a couple of hours." She gave him a death narrow eyed glare. "Well, it was worth a shot, I'm a man." Then he leans closer to her and whispers, "with needs." Beckett pinches him on the nose. "ow... apples apples apples."

Trixie walks by hearing the ruckus. Then doubles back. "Ricky," (_Beckett's mind:) that voice sounds like..._

Castle turns his head. "Trixie," he swallows. "I uh," _(Castle's mind:) what is she doing here, is she...so this all was..._  
_I'm just glade...now can we get to thinking about other things._

"Flying back already?" she asks.

_(Castle's mind: ) so she doesn't know that this is..._  
_don't say that..._  
_well isn't it true..._  
_we don't know that for a fact..._  
_but it's a possibility..._  
_well,..._

_(Trixie's mind:) if that was all this trip was then why does he look so nerves over there. It's like something is wrong but what could be wrong? and who is this? someone new. I see that somethings never change... How could you Ricky?_

Beckett continues to stare at Trixie._ (Trixie's mind:) I guess some people can't be changed. I hope that he knows what he's doing...I hope that he knows what he's giving up...I thought that he was in love? is that...is that her the one...cause she's..._Trixie smiles at Beckett._ if it is he's a lucky man._

"Something like that." Castle finally answers her.

"Well, if you need anything," she winks, ignoring Beckett's stare. "Come get me."

**to be continued...**


	22. Ch 22-relax and stay calm

**Take a chance on me** **by BeCastle**

**chapter 22-relax and stay calm**

at the 12th precinct:

Ryan was taps his fingers on his desk. Since Esposito was on suspension and Beckett was well, god knows where, hopefully finding Castle and doing what she does best convincing him to come back. Ryan was all alone in the bullpen bored out of his mind. Sure Gates had given him some leads all morning but they didn't pan out, so he sat at his desk, staring into space.

_To much silence_ he thought, _even with Castle hanging around there was always some kind of chatter around here but now, nothing_. He sighs getting up. He thought about pacing the floor but thought that, that would give Gates an indication to send more paperwork his way. He looks up at the tv. "probably more crap on." He was about to turn the station, which Gates didn't really allow, but something caught his eye. He turns the volume up a Newscast was talking about some plane that was suppose to have a gunman on it.

"At the airport earlier there was a plane being high jacked at gun point." The news media man went on. "More details as they come in..." Ryan's mind went back to the time that Beckett was shot and Castle tackling her to the ground. _This can't be happening again this time..._he swallows,_ we might... _

He shook the thought as he was watching intensely for more info. _The airport_ his mind screamed at him, _isn't that where Beckett and Castle went._ _But that was last night? They can't still be there at the airport, they would be...what be in the air_. Then he saw that the images where from yesterday afternoon the same time that Beckett wanted Castle's location. _Oh no, they..._

The cameraman scanning the area with planes, "Nothing looks out of the ordinary. Wait, go back, go back," Ryan told the cameraman. Like the man could really hear Ryan. But what do you know, that camera showed a man walking around with a gun. It focused on his face. _Where have I seen that face from. _a shiver runs though Ryan's body, he has flash back to the shooter of Beckett's.

_No way that can't be and what is he doing at an airport._ H_ow did he get past security? I mean with all...did he start shooting over there?_ He closes his eyes trying not to think about what the gunman could have done. W_hat are the odds of Beckett running into...him, her shooter out there._ Ryan slides his chair back to his desk. He types in the footage of Beckett's attempted murder and the sketch of the man that they thought was the shooter. _It looks just like...there's no way...it can't be can it...I we..._he points to the tv and then back to his computer. He writes down the name that they flashes on the screen. "Just to be sure, I'll run that name..." he is so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't see Esposito walk in behind him.

"yo, bro."

"Espo," Ryan breaths heavily, "You scared the hell me. I thought..."

Esposito sees what is on Ryan's computer screen. "Why are you still looking into Beckett's mother's file? Did you find something that will help us?"

"Um..." Esposito could read on Ryan's face that something was the matter, that he might have something to tell them. Ryan points to the tv. Esposito turns to look then back at Ryan's computer sketch.

"No that can't be the guy that we...?" He glances back at Ryan the sacred grime expression told him all he needed to know. _That was the man that we were chasing, it had to be...then that means that Beckett was,_ is...he sighs, _still being hunted._ "Oh, no... not..."

Ryan shrugs, "It looks..."

"Does Beckett know?" Esposito glances around the bullpen. "Where is Beckett anyway?" He watches Ryan face, who looks away from the computer to the tv, _(Esposito's mind:) he knows where she is...Ryan tell me... _Esposito puts it together. _"_She's there, isn't she?" Ryan pauses just for a short time then he gives Esposito a glance.

"I...I just found out," Ryan swallows again. "I..."

"Bro you need to call her, to warn her. And get her some back up."

"I...I can't..." Ryan walks away.

"What?" Esposito calls, shaking his head. "What? What do you mean you can't call her." He watchings Ryan who is now pacing. _(Esposito's mind:) That's not a good thing when he paces, there's something that's he not saying._

"Can't call who?" Gates appears out of nowhere. something that always scares them. "What are you doing here?" She gives Esposito a death glare,

"Uh...Just leaving." He pats Ryan on the back, "We need to talk," he whispers to Ryan.

Agent Will Sorenson, who was watching things unfold, saw the expressions on Ryan's face change as he starts pacing around. He knew from experience that, that was when people were most likely hiding something. _(Sorenson's mind:) Ryan has that look. What he is not telling anyone, he's hiding information. I have to find out what he knows. I'm wondering is he...does he knows where Kate is...and what is with the man on the tv. Does Ryan know who he is, he did get kinda nervous when Esposito was talking to him. um..._. "Who is he?" Sorenson asks walking closer to Ryan, hoping that he would stop his pacing for a second.

"Who is who?" Ryan comments looking in the direction of FBI Agent Sorenson. He didn't like having the FBI come visit. He didn't trust any of them, why where they here anyway.

"What do you mean my daughter's missing?" The panic voice of Jim Beckett rings out before Ryan could answer Sorenson.

"Mr. Beckett," Gates steps forward. "Will somebody tell me what 's going on and why is he here?" points with her eyes.

"The FBI...Will something another, said my daughter's missing, how long?" Jim cries out, glancing at Sorenson.

"What? Beckett's missing, and nobody..." Gates swallows, _(Gate's mind:) that's not a good thing, I have one of my best agents...was my best agent, _she sighs._ I just hope that she didn't go after that shooter alone...oh Beckett please tell me that you didn't. You're going to get yourself killed and..._she shook the thought,  
_don't go blaming yourself this is not your fault...  
but if I had only...  
you couldn't stop her...the best thing is now to control this situation  
and how do I do that...she was..._

"I had to tell him," Sorenson starts to explain,"Mr. Beckett should know..."

"And you didn't think that we should know..." Gates shook her head, (_Gate's mind:)_ _that's the FBI for you, they always hold things back._

"I'm glad someone had the guts to tell me first." Jim glances over at Agent Sorenson. "I need to know what's happened to my daughter? I want answers now!" Jim demands, his voice edgy with anger, not at them but himself for not watching her closer. _(Jim's mind:) if I only had..._  
_Now Jim, you can't control Katie, _his wife's soft voice enters his head_._  
_I know but...what if it..._  
_we will find her..._  
_I just...I can't lose her too...I just can't._

"We don't know much, yet." Gates tells him. "I don't even know what's going on myself. Will someone explain all this to me." Gates looks at Sorenson waiting for him to answer her, but didn't think that she would get a straight answer out of him.

Martha shows up right behind Jim. Gates lets out a sighs when she sees her.

(Gate's mind:) _Great now I have two of them that, I have to deal with_. _worried parents are not my thing. I...but what I hear Beckett was one of the best at  
__dealing with this kind of thing. __But wait I suspended her and...she well banned Castle from her team...so why are their parents really here? What the hell is really going on? What did Castle get them into now? _Jim and Martha are watching the news not paying attention to Gates.

"What is going on and why is she," Gates nods her head in the direction of Martha. "doing here too. I thought that Beckett fired Castle." Gates whispers to Ryan and Esposito.

"She did," Ryan responds back to her quietly.

"Then why is the FBI here? They only come.." a pause, "when." she glances at Esposito. "Something is wrong."

Sorenson watches Ryan's reaction. Will knows, that look. _(Sorenson's mind:) what are you hiding...I know that you are...something is on your mind and I have to get you to tell me... _

"Who was is that you were staring at?" Sorenson asks taking charge again. Everyone turns to face Ryan now, who somewhat blushes. Agent Sorenson walks over closer to him. "Detective Ryan, you know who that man is, don't you?"

"Who," Jim asks "And does it have to do with Katie being missing? You think that this man," Jim points to the tv, "Has kidnapped my daughter?"

"Detective Ryan if you are holing back on us." Gates continues, staring at him. When Ryan is still hesitating. Sorenson takes matters into his own hands.

"Who is that man, the one that you where staring at, you know him, don't you...he's a wanted man, if you know..." Sorenson pokes a finger into Ryan's shoulder making him step back some. "Tell me what you know." _(Sorenson's mind:) easy now...you don't want to bully him..._  
_if that's what it takes for him to tell me then..._  
_no you wouldn't...the sweet man that I knew wouldn't do that... _Beckett's voice rings out in his mind  
_she's right... Kate, you're... I wouldn't... I just want...to find you..._

Ryan swallows. "I'm sorry," Sorenson says, "I just..." _(Ryan's mind:) An FBI agent apologizing for that. I..._

"3yrs ago... Castle," Ryan takes a deep breath. Just mention the guy's name makes Ryan miss him. He walks some to shake off the memories of Castle right now. "got hold of some info..." he faces the gathering of friends now, "about a murder," he looks over at Gates, she could tell the he was nervous about this. "I can't do this," Ryan shakes his head, ratting out his friends for the second times was worse than the first. All three of them this time, he missed them more than they knew. He needed their help.

"Yes, you can bro," Esposito whispers as he gently pats him on the back . "I..." Ryan lets out a sigh, _(Ryan's mind:)_ E_spo's right I can but I don't know. I just..._

"Ryan look she's missing, we..." Gates stares at him. "We can use all the help that we can get on this. And who this guy is, and what his connection to Beckett is." Ryan swallows, _(Ryan's mind:)_ _they saved me so many times_, _they would do anything for me so I...I have to do this...for them...I have to help them...I have to have their backs like they have had mine. _

"Anyway it traced back to..." looks at Jim then to Martha, he wasn't sure either one of them knew all about this or not. He took a deep breath, "Johanna Beckett's murder."

Silence fell in the precinct.

"So anyway Castle shared the information with Beckett, even though he knew he would regret it." _(Ryan's mind:) more like break her heart, deeper then it already was about this, we won't go there,_ Ryan held his breath-another flashback entered his mind, not a good one, one that was still raw. One that he couldn't stop thinking about, one that gave him nightmares. The one that shook him to his core. the shooting...the hospital and the one that got away.

"That's when she got shot." Jim comments as he starts to remember the day he got the call his daughter was shot at a funeral of her captain, of all places.

"Yeah," Ryan lowers his head tears threatened to take over but he couldn't let them. Not now. "The shooter was, well never found," he continued on.

"What's that go to do my son?" Martha adds."besides..." She swallows, she didn't want to say that he started all of this. (_Martha's mind:)_ B_ut didn't he? Maybe this was what they were fighting about, maybe that's why..._

"Well the other day," Gates looks at Ryan urging him to go on. To spit all of this out in a timely matter. _(Gate's mind:)_ _What is he waiting on, doesn't he knew that time is ticking._

"The other day Beckett..." he clears his throat more to buy him... what more time to think of a semi lie to tell them. He didn't think that either parent knew the whole story. "She came in and Castle wasn't around. When we," he glances his eyes towards Esposito, "Asked about him, she told us he was off the team we...she wouldn't tell us why, we continued to search for the shooter as a team..." _(Ryan's mind:) well without Castle,_ he thought. Ryan looks at Esposito who looks away not wanting Ryan to tell the whole story that it was only he and Beckett that really went after the man without any backup.

"The three of us, followed him, but the guy got away. anyway," he swallows again. "Beckett called me wanted me to run some numbers. I did. I just assumed she found a lead that we missed earlier."

Ryan took another deep breath, telling this was not at all easy for him. "She was... and she still..." Ryan could see the anger in Gates eyes. (_Ryan's mind:)_ _Beckett I...I screwed up again didn't I? I didn't...forgive me girl...I was just..._

"What numbers, what kind of numbers?" Gates glares at him, but her voice was calm, that was a relieve to Ryan.

"Some short of phones records um..."

"Castle's?" Martha asks, more thinking out loud. Ryan whips his head around to look at her.

"No," He was lying about that one, he knew but he couldn't tell them. What ever was going on, that was between Castle and Beckett not everyone here. He wanted to keep it that way. She would tell them everything later if she wanted them to know. "I ran them. I didn't recognize any, I just assumed they were leads that we missed somehow. Seeing..."

"So she was still hunting for the shooter on her own." Jim states, "Even after I gave...told her it was too dangerous to go alone."

"I suppose so, I haven't had contact with her again." Ryan took a seat at the conference table, just like all the others.

"Where's my son? Is he?" Martha asks again.

"I don't know." looking at Martha, she had a scared look in her eyes. "Beckett didn't mention him. She didn't mention hardly anything. I just..."

"Yesterday I saw her at the airport," Sorenson adds. Now everyone in the room looks his direction.

"What?" This was opening that he needed. "She said she had to get on a plane, she got upset when she couldn't. um she missed her flight. I just thought...she get over it. Take another one."

"Then what happened," Gates knew that Feds kept things secrets, she was hoping that since he was...Beckett's old boyfriend that he wouldn't hold things back from them. She knew that there was more to this story, that someone wasn't saying.

"We had a distraction," Sorenson continues on.

"What kind of distraction bro?" Esposito finally joins in.

"I told her to stay, in the chair so we could deal with the crowds." Sorenson looks at Martha, "That's where your son comes in."

"What? Richard was there? at the airport?" Martha knew that he was upset, but she really didn't think that he would go through with it. She know that he didn't go though with things...unless he was forced to ...

"You had no idea?" Sorenson shook his head, (_Sorenson's mind:) What is really going on here. I must have missed something. It seems that there are parts of this story that are missing._ "He was signing books, shooting photos that kind of thing. The crowd was wild, watching him get on a plane. That was our distraction."

_(Martha's mind:) so, my son did get on a plane, he was...so he was leaving everything behind. Then why have...his last book...that doesn't sound like my son, unless he was waiting...waiting for what...and if Beckett was there...maybe they..._Martha thought then she heard the rest of what agent Sorenson was saying.

"Anyway, when everything was done, I lost... I lost Ka...Detective Beckett in the crowd."

(_Jim's mind:) what lost her, how can someone lose her, did she... _Jim shook his head,_ don't go there Jim...she fine...she...maybe she went after Castle..._

"When I looked back she was gone. I we...looked everywhere." Sorenson went on.

_(Martha's mind:) We _Martha thought,_ so you called in the FBI to what? I don't see...why? oh, you just wanted to keep an eye on...Beckett so she wouldn't...you wanted to stop her from..._

"Was she following Castle?" Esposito asks knowing that that was everyone was thinking that or at least he was, knowing Beckett, that that was what she was really doing...(_Esposito mind:)_ _if she knew that he was there then she would. What if she found something out. What if she saw the gunman..._

"I don't know." Sorenson said even though he knew that that was where she mostly like went following him...(_Sorenson's mind:)_ _but why? What was so...oh no she hasn't fallen in love with him. Kate tell me that you didn't..._

"I wouldn't put it past her," Jim says, "That's her...partner." (_Jim's mind:) She loves him, even though she wont admit it, I see it in her eyes everyday and the way that she talks about him...it's like...he was meant for her... and now..._

"Maybe she feared for his safety." Ryan points at to the tv screen, "That's one of the guys."

"What?" Everyone faces the tv as it continues to talk about suspicious man at the airport. Ryan hesitated for a second. "That's the one that..." he turns away from the tv. Holding back his tears, "That's the one that was shooting at Kate. So maybe she saw her shooter and...he was at the airport following Castle. Maybe she took off wanting to help him." Ryan starts ranting his thoughts.

"To protect him?" Esposito adds. (_Esposito's mind:) that makes sense but what didn't was that she didn't call them...didn't ask for any backup. Unless, that had nothing to do with the shooter. Maybe the shooter just happened to be there...following her. Maybe the shooter was following her and she led them...what straight to Castle, was she really just following Castle and they showed up...what if they both are in danger._ Esposito swallowed. Ryan saw the reaction of all of them.

"It makes sense, just cause Castle doesn't work here doesn't mean...she doesn't care for the guy." he smiles _(Ryan's mind:) a little more then care for one another, they love each other...even though they won't admit it to themselves...which is kinda sad...when will they learn they can't live without the other. I know...I miss them...and well...maybe that's what..._

"Maybe she had info that they were going after my son." Martha gets back into the conversation. She hoped not, she didn't want either one of them in danger. She shook the thought,_ (Martha's mind:) no that's not it. I hope that she was...I hope that she was following him, cause...just find him, bring him home._

"And she couldn't..." Ryan starts and Gate's shakes her head.

"ut um..." no one knew about the suspensions but the team or at least that's what she thought.

"Trust me." Ryan says to smooth things over. "She couldn't trust me." _(Ryan's mind:) and after this she will probably never trust me again, but I did what I had to do..._  
_then you have nothing to worry about..._  
_then why do I feel..._  
_you are doing the right thing...protecting her..._  
_from what herself...I just..._  
_you have to trust yourself on this one..._

"Or me..." Esposito adds, (_Esposito's mind:)_ _that's why she didn't tell us...if that's what was really going on. She didn't want us...what in the way? na she wouldn't do that but she...anything can happen when she's with Castle...what if...na she wouldn't...would she trust him more then us...wait...she is...in love with him...and..._

"I knew that guy was trouble when I first meet him." Sorenson comments which everyone ignores him but of course Martha.

"Hey," Martha gets up ready to defend her son.

"No fighting here," Jim stands, "We have two people missing here, who, might be in danger." _(Jim's mind:) might be..._  
_I told you not to go there honey...we will find them..._  
_them..._  
_I have a feeling that they are together...don't think that either...I mean helping each other...but...I..._  
_I wish that, that's all that was going on...not having her on the run or..._  
_Jim listen to me...everything is going to work out..._.He shook the thoughts that were starting to form. "We need to focus. We need to find them."

_(Martha's mind:) them...so it's not just me who sees this differently...I wonder the way the guys are talking, they see it too...why can't my son..._

"So you think the shooter found them and now what? They are both what on the run? How do we find them?" Gates comments. (_Gate's mind: that's not good. if both are...without any back up they could end up..._  
_don't go there..._  
_but what if...and did I do all this? We have to find them before it's to late...if it's not already._

"They aren't going to keep their phones on that would be like committing suicide." Ryan gets up and starts to pace the small area. "If that's what's happening, we..."

"We have noway to tracing them...and if they're on the run with a shooter her shooter." Esposito swallows, "Nothing good will come from that."

Jim hugs Martha. "Not again, I can't go through this again...not my baby on the run...being..." he sniffs. (_Jim's mind:) hunted down._

Martha was reading his mind. "Don't say it. I know what you are thinking. I just hope..."

"They know how..." Esposito says trying to stay positive. He also knew what Jim was thinking, cause he thought of it earlier, "How to..."

The phone on Agent Sorenson belt rings and everyone jumps. Staring at the one man's phone that was ringing. The one call that could give them all the answers good or bad they needed.

**to be continue...**


	23. Ch 23-for never fear action is here

**Take a chance on me  
****by BeCastle**

**Chapter 23-  
for never fear action is here**

**Precinct conference room:**

Sorenson slowly reaches to answer his phone. He lets out a sigh, after reading the caller id. It was his informant that was at the airport.  
(Sorenson's mind:) _this can't be good news, if he's calling something has happened down there. something..._

He swallows before picking it up. Fearing that he was having either a shoot out or that one of the planes was being high jacked. He didn't know which one, either one was bad. And with so many people around, he was fearing that the bodies would be piling up. He sighs once again looking around the room, then answering it a calmly as he could. He hated this part, getting the bad news that something had gone wrong.

"Sorenson, here." He listens, his face unreadable.

_(Gate's mind:) That's one of those FBI looks,_ Gates thinks, _one that means something is happening right as we speak. I just hope that he tells us the truth and not tries to hide any info from us, especially._ She glances over at Martha and Jim who are now talking to Ryan and Esposito.

"Is he now," Sorenson nods to the group and pushes a button. "I'm putting you on speaker now." He places the phone in the middle of the table where Ryan, Esposito, Gates, Martha, and Jim are sitting down with Sorenson and some other FBI agents.

"Castle, he's..." the informant on the phone starts.

Everything goes quite. Martha stares not wanting to know not like this...if her son...Jim holds her hand. "If it's him, which has not be confirmed," everyone holds their breathe waiting on the bad news. _Martha's mind: what if they..._she lowers her head._...what if they found a body...his body I will never..._she sniffs._  
_

"Is on the plane towards the back." says Will's informant through the phone.

"What does that mean?" Martha asks. (Martha's mind:) _Oh no that means...he's...at gun point on a plane with an assassin.  
at least he's alive..._she sighs_...but for how long...and where's...  
_

"I'm...on a plane, some shooters,"

Silence, a pause, boots could be heard. "Are walking back and forth but I think we have Castle on the plane. We had," another pause with a drawn out sigh, "had a busy morning."

"What about my daughter, Detective Beckett?" Jim asks.

"Oh great a detective just what we need," the informant comments back.

"What?" Sorenson was ready to pick up the phone and give his informant a piece of his mind at that comment.

"Look, I don't know, haven't seen her. I don't even know if she was ever here. We have about maybe ten people."

_(Jim's mind:) What if she not there? Did they kill her already? But why kill her and then take Castle hostage? To get back at me, to bring him here and then shot him so that we know that he is serious. Or maybe it was just Castle they wanted all along, for his sake and my daughter's I hope that's not the case. They...  
Jim stay positive, we don't know anything._

"I have to get these to some people in the back." a new female voice comes on,

"Who..."

**Now seen from the plane's point of view:**

"Which people?" A man in a coat flashes his id, the shield sparkled in gold. The flight attendant knew that they would be okay. She nods, tilting her head some.

"The two in the back,"

"A name..." There was a pause when one of the men came back with a gun. The informant was trying to stay calm not let on that he knew anything or anyone.

"What are you doing," the rough voice of the gunman was heard. Trixie had to think fast.

"Bringing," she swallows, "this guy a drink," holds out her hand, points to the informant. "We ran out of coffee sir." She made up, hoping that she wouldn't end up being a victim of the gunman.

"Thanks," the informant takes the drink. The gunman grips the flight attendant on the shoulder and forces her to sit down. Literally shoving her down in the seat. "Now sit." (_Trixie's mind:) I can't believe this is happening not now...I..._she sits down next to the informant. and swallows, glancing at the gun that the man had with him.

"Do you have a name..." the informant whispers.

"Trixie,"

"No, I mean the guy in the back." the informant smiles hoping that Trixie is the talkative kind of stewardess that can give info that he needs to get them of this plane safely.

"I can't rat him out,"

"Please we're looking for someone," a pause both look up when the gunman walks by again. _Damn go away, you're ruining everything._

"Alright a writer...Castle."

"As in Richard Castle?"

"We...we go back to college days. We just meet again a few months ago." the informant could care less about all of that but he was willing to listen if she would tell him what he needed to know. "Anyway," she glances at him. "Is he in trouble?"

"No, why do you ask."

"He seems nervous, scared like...I don't know... not like he was earlier."

"Earlier? When."

"Yesterday, he was happy. Writing his book "heat is gone". I only remember the title cause he asks my opinion, if I liked the title. I didn't get it but...anyways, I know you don't care about that stuff," then the line "just the facts ma'am came to her.

"Later on he asked if I wanted a drink at the bar, and well it was Ricky so I thought why not. He kept telling me that he needed to get away from a woman named, oh what was her name." A pause, "Oh right a Beckett...something...Beckett that's the woman I guess he writes about...that's what I got..." she thought about telling him everything but thought better of it.

Both have to be quiet as the gunman comes again.

"What? And this Beckett, did you see her?" asks the informant.

"No, I don't think...I don't know... but then well," yes, the informant wanted to know everything. Trixie took a deep breath, "Let's just say Ricky...Castle whatever you guys call him, was back to his old tricks."

"Old tricks?" (_informant's mind:) Crape do you mean that...Beckett wasn't there with him...that we have to...find her too...where would I look..._  
_let her finish maybe there will be more clues that will lead us to her._

"Yeah, he picks up a Blond, who's hair to me looked fake and dancing with her one minute and then..." still mad at the whole scene, she wanted to kill Ricky herself, _he said he changed and then..._ "Took her to his room so I left, I was well hurt. After that I don't know... the next thing it was well morning and those two men were escorting all these people to this plane. I didn't know what to do, they just said get the plane in the air and that was...well it."

"Is Castle," he whispers "with anyone." Trixie has a question mark look on her face. "What do you mean?"

"Sitting with..." a pause in the conversation. _I wish that guy would just sit down instead of messing me up._

"Now that you mention it, the woman next to him was giving me the evil eye."

"A name..." the informant asks hoping that she as a stewardess would have gotton one.

"I don't know...I didn't get one."

"The blond that he met at the bar?"

"No brown hair, brown eyes and no offence to her but she kinda hot looking."

"That's got to be Beckett." the informant said. (Trixie's mind:) _That's Beckett the one that he was trying to get away from..The one that he was in love with, wow no wonder he didn't just want her to be a one night stand she's..._

"Is that Beckett?" Trixie asks, just making sure that that was her.

"I don't know never meet her before. But from the description I think it is."

"Is this Beckett a girlfriend?" she already knew Castle was in love with her but...was wondering why this plane was high jacked. _(Trixie's mind:) was it cause of them...and why did this guy want to know all of this info. I mean all of this is suspicious. Well to me it is._

"Um...why do you ask."

"It's nothing, they just look...I don't know they are holding hands. I heard them talking. He kept saying that if he had to die today that he was glad that they were together, they would die together. Is that who they are after, the gunmen I mean. The two..."

Say no, everyone at the table in the percent wanted to shout through the phone.

"No it's just random." Trixie took that pause since no gunman was around to mean that they were the targets of these gunmen. (Trixie's mind:) _What kinda of trouble did you get into Ricky? Is this a forbidden love between the two of you. Did you piss off these people off...oh Ricky_

"Get up." yells the shooter, grabbing Trixie her by the arm. "And help that guy,"

"What guy," Trixie tried to keep the nerves out of her voice. She didn't like the sight of these shooters, if they were willing to shoot agents then they wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone in their way.

"In the back the one that is waving his arms around, like a fool." the shooter points his gun at Castle. Trixie walks the other direction.

"Where are you going?"

"To get Mr..." everyone was holding their breath that she wouldn't say his name. "Um Mr...Seat number 42 a drink. That's what he wants. I tried to get one down there a few minutes ago but you guys stopped me."

The stewardess finally found what she looking for and heads down the aisle towards Castle.

"Here you are Ms Beckett," she whispers, leaning over Castle's stuff.

"How?"

"Mr..." Castle grabs it before she could say his name. Trixie accidentally knocks some of Castle's stuff over.

"Let me get that," Trixie bends down and hands him the papers with a note on top that says "read me".

"Read me..." Castle mouths. Beckett grabs the note from Castle's hands.

"Hey, Beckett give it back." instead she opens it.

"Ricky..." she begins reading it out loud.

"shh...Don't..." he glares as he steals the note back from her. Castle reads the note on sky diving out of the plane. "I can't go back there." Castle starts to have a flashback to the last time that he did that.

_(Castle's flashback:) Castle ended up in a heap on the ground with one arm bent uncomfortably beneath him. Unable to shift, even slightly to straighten that arm all around him was nothing but darkness-vast cold indifference darkness...He was crying out in pain. The pain that had dragged at him, but he hadn't let it defeat him. He forced himself using his mind, body and will to beat the odds. To get up and move, to crawl dragging himself one bloody inch at a time. He remembered too, his vague astonishment at the final betrayal of his body, it had simply stopped moving falling back down in the dirt. Laying there he thought that that this was where he was going to die at any moment..._

"Castle talk to me..." he heard what he thought was an whispering angel.. "What's wrong..." he shook the thoughts. How many times did he beat the odds? But this time he wasn't convinced that they could beat the odds. He swallows, (Castle's mind:) _I can't go through that again. Especially with Beckett. I can't put her in danger like that.  
What danger? You are already in danger. The both of you are going to die one way or another. You might as well take the risk, at least it's worth a shot.  
no...I...  
take the risk._

"Why the grim face? C'mon Castle." Beckett notices his change. He turns his face from her, "please talk to me," she slides her hand over his.

She notices that he is shaking. (Beckett's mind:) _What's gotten into him, what does this note say. Why would he say that he couldn't go back there? What really happened something that he is not telling me, a secret that he is keeping from me. Of course there are some that I have that I have not shared with him so... I guess I understand but I have to know what is going on so that I can help him. Before..._

"I can't go back," he repeats shaking his head. "I can't go back there."

"What?" she takes the note, this time he doesn't care. She reads it. "If there's..."

He faces her again "shhh." He shakes his head. "I can't. I just can't."

"Castle, if there's any chance."

"There's not..." he repeated, something in his voice changed...something that frightened Beckett.

"What? I don't understand. what happened?"

He turns away "just don't..." He lowers his head then looks up with tears in his eyes. "I want a new seat." he yells.

"Castle wait, you can't... you can't just walk away, not from me." she whispers.

"Stewardess... Trixie." he yells louder this time, standing up.

"What's going on?" Trixie notices him out of his seat. "You have to sit down sir,"

"Castle don't do it." Beckett holds on to his arm, not understanding why he wants to get away from her. (Beckett's mind:) _What did I do? I just...what happened that's got him so upset...and why with me? I just...I don't understand._

"I want to change seats," he takes a deep breath "Now,"

"Why sir, what's the problem." Trixie asks.

"It's just...not working."

"Okay I have one in the front." she gave Beckett shrug of the shoulders, like she didn't understand what was happening. Trixie thinks she does though, just now how to pull it off without drawing suspension.

"I'll take it." Castle doesn't hesitate in his answer.

"Follow me," he looks back, at Beckett,

"Why?" she asks, staring back he mouths the words, 'Because I love you. '

"Get him up front now," yells the shooter. Beckett tries to get up and follow him.

"Sit down, or we shot everybody one by one. Starting with..." the gunman aims his gun at Castle's back. "Him."

Beckett swallows she could only watch as the guard from the front comes towards her.

**precinct conference room:**

When there was a longer silent pause, Sorenson picks up the phone from the cradle. "Hello? hello?" Sorenson calls, "Hello?" he repeats one more time just to make sure, then pulls the phone from his ear when he hears the dial tone.

_(Sorenson's mind:) he didn't just hang up the phone on me, there's no way that he would do that...something must be going on that he doesn't want us to know. He will call me right back right?_  
_how should I know..._  
_some help you are...why am I talking to myself..._  
_I was wondering the same thing..._

Everyone in the room is staring at him with gasping looks for an explanation to the dropped call.

"My informant..." he put the phone on his belt.

"What about him bro?" Esposito responds, hoping that Sorenson was not going to say what he was thinking.

"We lost contact." Yep that was what Esposito was thinking, not good. _(Esposito's mind:) Now what we just lost our one connection to our friends, our..._he swallows turning his head, trying not to cry._ What are we going to do now...I..._

"What?" Gates asks. "What does that means?"

"They are on their own again." Ryan comments, getting up from his chair.

Gates stares at Sorenson, she hated to think about what was really going on on that plane. Where her people really safe up there? She slides her hand down her face, and lets out a slow sigh.  
_(Gate's mind:) Now what...if the FBI can't keep them..._  
_don't say that...they are all over this and you know it_...

"What about the FBI?" She says before she realizes it. _(Gate's mind:) like he's going to tell me what they are doing about this._

"All over it ma'am." the FBI tech agent response quickly. (_Gate's mind:) what he...they actually answered me...now that's a new one on me._

"We are tracking them down now." he types something on his computer laptop. "It's coming steady."

_(Jim's mind:) What is,..._ He leans over the man's shoulder and sees a map with a little flying plane. _(Jim's mind:) That's their plane moving...How cool is that that they can track where they are. I guess they are doing everything they possible can. Wait they are...That makes no scence..._he shook his head, _why would they be out there...what's out there...that's out in the middle of nowhere...what if..._

"Should be landing..." the tech man at the FBI setup desk continues,

"When." Sorenson asks walking closer so he could see what Jim was looking at. The tech man looks up at Sorenson.

"If everything's on schedule...um..." Now everyone has come closer to gather around him.

"When." all say in unison.

"My best guess...if they stay on this course...sometime tonight, take or give..." Sorenson swallows "With the weather I can't predict...that. " the tech man continues on. "Wait," everyone stares at him. "There's..." he points to screen,"Some kind of storm...forming."

"Would that ground them?" Martha asks. Fear went going through Sorenson. _(Sorenson's mind:) if they land they will kill and they will start with...god help them if they touch a hair on you head Kate. I will..._

"Hard to say." The tech man shakes his head. "It's not like a car. You can't just pull over."

"Have my people ready," Sorenson was on the phone trying his informant once again getting a busy signal. _(Sorenson's mind:) great now what if I can't get a hold of him. What is going on over there? are they..._  
_don't think that..._  
_I have too...I have to think of the worst things then work backwards. That way I ready for the shocks..._  
_let's just hope that that is what we are going to find..._  
_find...they..._He takes a long sigh before the starts pacing the floor.

_(Jim's mind:) that's not good if the FBI is panicking. They're going to be fine...they are going to be found... I have to believe_

(Martha's mind:) _That's not...that means..._  
_no it doesn't..._  
_I just wish someone would call...and tell me that this is a nightmare that I will wake up from._

"I have to do something..." Ryan calls. "I can't just sit around and do nothing."

"Ryan's right...we have to do something." Esposito adds.

"The best thing that we can do is stay..." Gates starts.

"Where here," Esposito was getting his jacket. "cooped up, I don't think so."

"Let's let the FBI..." Gates says, hoping to calm Esposito down. She didn't need him in danger as well.

"Screw the FBI.." Esposito responds, "I want answers. She's my..." Ryan stares over at him.

"Our partner." (_Esposito's mind:) more like mother and Castle I don't know what he is...Dad? I don't know yet...I just know he's not just some random person off the street. They need help_.

(_Ryan's mind:) our family and nobody messes with that._ _The FBI couldn't care less, they just want...but isn't that what we want too to get rid of the gunman._ Anger flooded Ryan's blood.

"Yeah they..." Ryan comments as he moves away from the group, closer to Esposito. Gates picks up on Ryan's angry tone. "They need..." he shuts up when he sees Sorenson coming back towards them. "Any word?"

"No, not really...but I got people at all the local airports in their path."

"Unless..." Ryan comments, not wanting to have to think about what he was about to say could happen to them.

"Unless what detective Ryan."

"I'm just saying..." he lets out a sigh, Sorenson shakes his head. _(Sorenson's mind:) here we go again. Why can't this guy just say what's on his mind?...I don't see how Kate works with this guy...or , _he looks at Esposito then back to Ryan._ that guy, for that matter...she must see something in them...of course she does work with that...that monkey writer boy so I guess anything's possible. _

"They... might just land somewhere else if they...find out..." _(Sorenson's mind:) he does have a point what if that is why my informant hasn't called me back...what if he...they... __thanks kid for putting that thought in my head..._

"What if they already know we are tracking them. And they..." Ryan says.

"Don't say that." Martha shouts. She wanted to hold on to the last bit of hope that she had that her son and Beckett were going to be coming home safely. She didn't know what she do if they didn't.

"What if..." Jim, of all people speaks the unthinkable, "They do and they already..."

"Don't say that either we..." Martha shouts again.

"I..." Jim, sighs a heavy sigh. "I'm shutting up now."

Martha paces Jim follows. _(Jim's mind:) I didn't mean to upset anyone, that's the last thing that I wanted to do, but I...I don't think that I can handle this...I..._a few tears roll down his face as he starts to have a flashback of pictures of his wife and how they found her._ I...this is not happening again, not to...Katie I need to know..._

"Well, keep me...us... informed... I do have men...find out!" Sorenson shouts through the phone. _(Gate's mind:) I see that the FBI keeps secrets from each other as well._

Everyone continues to watch the news and the little airplane crosses the computer screen, while Martha and Jim pace the floor.

**air plane:**

Beckett lowers her head.

_(Beckett's mind:) if Castle loves me..._  
_he does..._  
_then why isn't he...here..._tears form in her eyes..._I just_... she sniffs... _he..._  
_he walks away again...I...know..._  
_and this time...I can't...I can't follow him...what am I to do now?  
_

The informant who disconnected his phone on purpose, sits besides her. He didn't want the FBI on his trail and he knew they would be if he kept the phone on him.

"Why?" she asks not looking at him. Tears dripping from her eyes, "What do you guys want?"

"I'm..." Beckett glances down. She sees something glimmer. (_Beckett's mind:) that's not...is it...could it be..._

"Undercover." she whispers, not wanted to tell the whole world if he was who he says he is.

"shhhh. yes," He hands her a tissue. "I'm an informant actually." She reaches out and takes the tissue.

"Thanks," she sniffs.

"He, Castle as you call him, separated you two for a reason." The man winks but that was wasted, for she didn't look at him. All she could think about was Castle and his reaction.

(_Beckett's mind:) why would he do that?_  
_He's taking a chance...he's going to get you and him off this plane_  
_as in skydiving out of a plane. But what if I can't...I..._she swallows.  
_If he's willing to take the chance then you need to do the same._  
_But I..._  
_remember what I have thought you...  
__to trust..._  
_then do...he loves you... he's risking it all  
what?_

"Why would he?" she asks out loud then adds. "I..."

"Right now you don't need to,"

_(Beckett's mind:) weird it's like he knows what I'm thinking...just like... T_he tears came back to her eyes, sliding down. She wipes them but they continue to flow.

"The motions all ready in play," the informant puts his arm around her. "Just go with it...it will all work out."

"I..." she sniffs.

"You will...see. Trust me..." (informant's mind:) _I will get her out of here and help him. I owe him that much._

**To be continued...**


	24. Ch 24 -Always

**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**  
**Chapter 24- Always**

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"You know Ricky, you don't have to do this...it was just a suggestion. I know what happened last time...I was there and..." Trixie tells Castle as he stands next to her by one of the doors.

"There might not be another way." He blinks, "I already broke bones, had a gun to my head and thought I died today so this should be a piece of cake." he smiles, trying to laugh about this situation. He wished there was another way. But he couldn't think of one. Not a good one anyway. He just hoped that Trixie knew what she was doing.

_(Castle's mind:) trust me she does..._  
_I..._  
_trust..._he swallows.

Trixie could tell that he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. Something she knew that he did when he was nervous.

"Just remember this time go towards the wind. The wind is your friend." He steps into the body harness, grabs a parachute and pack...He was ready to do this or was he? He rubs his palms on the front of his pants to get the sweat off.

_(Trixie's mind) He is nervous with the bouncing and the sweaty palms. I just..._

"Ricky, I..." she tries to talk to him, seeing if he was really ready for this. Once he commits there's not way back. "Are you sure. You want to do this? I mean...I could..." her voice trails off as if she had forgotten what she was going to say next.

"We could what Trixie? If we land it's over. I...we die, we all die," Castle lets out a sigh. "I'm not ready to die I'm too young,"

Trixie smiles._ (Trixie's mind:) always joking what's really going on in that head of yours you must really be in love with her to risk it all...again._  
_  
(Castle's mind:) and in love..._  
_yes I'm...but..._  
_she's fine...just believe...  
what if she doesn't understand...  
__what?  
does she really know why I did this... this separation I just...  
cause you love her...she knows that...  
does she...I mean...I just walked away again...  
she'll be here...just have a little faith...  
_he lets out a another sigh..._I...  
we will find away..._

"Then that's good, cause only the good ones die young." Beckett jokes, as she enters where they are. She turns to thank the man known to her as the informant but no one was there.

(Beckett's mind_:) I swear he was standing there, was he even real?_  
_don't go there of course he was..._

Castle smiles just hearing her voice made things better. He takes in a long deep breath.

(_Castle's mind:) see I told you, no worries  
only if she knew what she was in for..._  
_you don't even know...in more ways the one_  
_what...I...what?_

"Good to see you can laugh about this Beckett," he glances at her hoping to see her smile. The smile that...always set his heart on fire. But to his surprise Beckett turns her head from his gaze. He wasn't expecting that to be her reaction and the hurt look in her eyes, shot a pain through him into his heart.

"Ricky," Trixie yells punching him on the shoulder, hard.

"What," he rubs his shoulder after getting a poke. he swallows, looking at Beckett, with her unspoken words Castle knew something was wrong with Beckett. she steps backwards. "What did I say... I just..."

(_Castle's mind:) what did you say?...you...you're suppose to support her not drive her away.  
__I just..._that's how... Castle tries to defend himself.  
_she's..._  
_I know so am I...but...  
it didn't help either one of you...  
_

"Can't you see...she's " Trixie states, _(Trixie's mind:) he must not be good at this, at all if he can't see what he just did to her. Is this how it is all the time with them but they do say that opposites attract so..._Castle glances back at Beckett._..  
_

_(Castle's mind:) Trixie's right I...what did I do... did I just...what is wrong with me?  
make if right..._

"Beckett look I.." he swallows "I didn't mean..."

(_Castle's mind:) This was the better of the two evils right? . It's either get shot which I know I...we are going to die. Or die with a crash. I'll take a chance...a chance...at this..._  
_A chance...like the one...you should have with her...earlier_  
_I..._  
_and you didn't..._he blinks...  
_no you're right I didn't...but...something's...not..._

"Beckett look I'm..." He steps closer to her. She lets out a sigh.

(_Beckett's mind:) I know that you are...so am I..._  
_tell him..._  
_I can't...I can't tell him...I haven't told anyone..._  
_that you have always been terrified of heights and why have you been so... stubborn to admit it. Now's your chance_  
_and then what?_  
_he loves you he wouldn't care...It will bring you guys closer_  
_I just...I can't..._  
_you're not alone in this...not now not ever._  
adrenaline was pumping and her knees querying, she was to make a decision that would change her life forever.

"Look let's just do this." Beckett comments, "Before..."

He reaches for her, grabs her hands and pulls her closer to him. He swallows, "Kate we are in this together..." he whispers , "I'm not going to leave you. not this time."

_(Castle's mind:) am I making the right choice...I mean it's risky at best... _  
_do what you have to do _  
_you're right_  
_we follow our hearts that's what keeps us alive_  
_I'm all for that...staying alive._ then got song stuck in head.

_(Beckett's mind:) I can..._  
_yes you can...you're stronger now..._  
she starts to have another flashback...

_(Beckett's flashback:) Beckett was hanging by her finger tips, losing her grip, calling out to Castle. One by one sees herself falling backwards. _

Trixie was watching Beckett's reaction to whatever Castle was saying to her. She couldn't quite hear all of it.

_(Trixie's mind:)_ _She's... I see the terror in her eyes. Don't tell me that she's. if I had known that I would have never suggested it to them. I wonder if he knows, now I have to..._  
_to what...you can't..._  
_I have to convince them..._  
_convince them of what...look at them, they're too much in love and if she's willing to do this, and he is... then who to say that you should stop them..._  
_right oh I don't know what to do?_  
_do nothing..._  
_I can't just...if they..._she swallows._ I hope that I haven't..._  
_haven't what... you are giving them hope at least...they have a chance they didn't before...an escape...to be free...to live...to love  
_

"Look if you guys aren't sure then..." Trixie was giving them one last chance to say no. She owed them that much. She had to be sure that this is what they really wanted to do. If they had changed their minds but Trixie knew in her heart of hearts neither one was going to back out. She knew they were too much in love not to take the chance to give it a try.

Beckett closes her eyes and snuggles closer to Castle, she felt safe with him. He knew that she might not be ready for this.

"We don't..."

She took a step back looking into his eyes. She swallows, "I'm fine." he notices the shakiness in her voice.

_(Castle's mind:) why would you lie to me Beckett...does she not trust me enough..._  
_she's..._  
_She's what scared so am I...remember what happened last time I did this and now..._  
_and now it's different..._  
_and how is that..._  
_you're not alone..._He glances over at her and smiles. _You're right, I'm not...  
and neither is she...so...__hold her tight...keep her safe_

"I will always have you back. so if you..."

"Always?" she questions,  
"Yes, always. why wouldn't I? I'm your partner."

She let's out a sigh. _(Beckett's mind:) see I told you that he wouldn't care about the lie..._  
_but I...just did it again...I just lied to him again...  
no you held back to the truth...of your fear...that's not really a lie_..._tell him...if that's what you want to do...but I...think he already knows..._

"One last check before we..." Castle states. _(Castle's mind:) That's what I'm talking about...keeping her safe..._  
_at least this part...as for the rest...I don't know..._  
_you guys will be fine._

"I checked all of this...this morning but I'll do it again. Just to be sure." Trixie comments not really wanted to go through another check but what could she do. She was going to watch them risk it all and she wanted to make sure that she did everything possible to make it work for them.

"Thanks," he was trying to reassure Beckett okay more himself that everything was in working order. Giving him more time to think of more pleasant things.

Trixie pats him on the shoulder. "You're good to go, let me check her." Trixie smiles over at Beckett.

Trixie unzips the pack that Beckett had on, she rummages inside. She touches something unfamiliar, the hard coldness of it shocked her hand. She peers inside and then sees it. An incendiary device that lay on top. She could see a clock moving. It was ticking...ticking down._ a bomb_ her mind wanted to scream out. She stood there a few seconds, which made Castle nervous. uh...

_(Castle's mind:) she's found something wrong hasn't she?_  
_don't..._  
_I need to know..._

Castle walks up. "What is it?" he whispers, when he saw Beckett turn her head.

"I don't know how to disarm something like this." Trixie mouths back to him. "I never..."

(_Castle's mind:) What? something like this, oh no not a..._Castle's eyes widened when he saw that timer like thing. He had a flashback of the last bomb that he came in counter with. This one was different no wires to pull and that meant... This bomb was well crafted.

"What's wrong Castle?" Beckett asks trying to turn her head so she could see.

"Take it off," he didn't want to panic her but he wasn't sure that he could keep this one under wraps.

_(Beckett's mind:) what? did I hear him right, he wants me to take it off_  
_maybe all..._  
_what? I think he..._

Castle points to the bag. "Take it off..." he shouts a little louder to her. "Now,"

Beckett lets it slip from her shoulder.  
_(Castle's mind:) oh how i love to do that to her shirt..._  
_focus..._  
_I'm..._  
_not on her...but keeping her safe..._  
_right..._

Castle didn't want to tell her that she had, had a bomb in her hands. He opens the door, a rush of air blew in almost knocking both of them back. "No time to argue about this," he pushes forward, with all his strength, reaching out he grabs the pack and launching it out the door.

with a bright flash of orange against the sky it explodes and they all jump back. Beckett stood there watching the burning pack spiral towards the ground like it was a small comet. The flames growing smaller and finally began to burn out.

"Castle," Beckett swallows, her hands were shaking. "That...that could have been...me.. us."

(_Castle's mind:) say something to her..._  
_what I can't even get my own footing yet...how am I..._  
He starts to slow his breathing trying to focus on what was important.  
_ go to her and..._  
_I know...hold her but..._  
_you see that your partner needs you and you are arguing with me?_

(_Beckett's mind:)_  
_that could have been me, that was for me..._She glances at Castle, _I could have...we could have...who would do something like this..._  
_not worry about that...just be thank-you that he..._  
_I'm...I..._  
_just sit and relax..._  
_how do I?..._she shakes her head._ I can't after that...not after_

Beckett balls herself up next to the door and starts to cry. Castle wants to be there for her but he doesn't know.

_(Castle's mind:) go to her...this is when she needs you to have her back...now..._  
_I...how can I when I..._  
_get over yourself and be there for her..._He takes in a deep breath.  
_You're right I do need to be there for her..._  
_the both of you need each other...that's..._

Castle walks towards Beckett._ (Castle's mind:) my mind is right. I need to be over there with her. what kind of partner or friend would I be if I wasn't...  
you're a good partner to her and you know that...  
I just...  
then go to her...being there with her means more than you know...especially at a time like this...you both want and need this...  
I know that I do as well..._

He makes another step. That's when the plane shifts, he looses his balance sliding towards Beckett, while she slides to the edge of the door. She grabs the side of the door. "Beckett. I'm coming. Hold on."

"Somethings wrong with the plane." shouts Trixie. "We are having..."

The plane shifts again. Beckett starts to lose her grip. "Castle,"

"Gotta," Beckett is caught by Castle, but the winds too strong. "Hold on."

"I...can't..." she reaches higher and digs her nails into his arms.

_(Castle's mind:) not like that...ow..._  
_just hold on to her..._  
_shouldn't that be her holding on to me...  
very funny...now just hang on to her...  
even if...  
yes..._

The plane goes steady. Castle swallows, (_Castle's mind:) that was close...that was..._  
He took a deep breath to calm himself, before trying to pull her back in.

"Castle I..." The plane shifts again. "Hold on to me. Don't let me go. I..." she starts to lose her grip, ripping his skin as she falls.

"Always." he grabs her by hands as they slides past his hands. He tries to pull her back in with everything that he has but it's not enough she slips farther. "Beckett..." Sweat was now getting in his eyes.

"Castle, I can't hold on..." she screams, she shuts her eyes as the last of her fingers slip out of his.

"No...Beck...Kate..." he stands. "wait for me... I won't let you do this without me." he yells out as he too jumps from the plane.

"Ricky wait...it's not made..." Trixie leans out to watch both of them fall. "For two,"

**the be continued...**


	25. Ch 25- Letting go

** Take a chance on me**  
**by Becastle**  
**chapter 25-letting go**

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Beckett found herself suddenly racing toward her death at speeds faster than she thought possible. Wind was singing in her ears and making her eyes tear up even though closed. She knew she was going to plummet to the bottom so with her eyes tightly shut and arms straight out she waits for the inevitable.

_(Beckett's mind:) I just wish..._  
_don't say that...wishing 's not always a good thing..._  
_I know but...I'm going to die...anyway...I feel it in my bones..._  
_but not in your heart..._  
_what is the difference now...I can't...there's..._

But before she could prepare for it she slams into something hard, something she wasn't expecting to be there in mid-air.

"I told you that I had your back." she heard cutting through the wind. "Always,"

(_Castle's mind:) I would love to have her on her back...somewhere else_  
_stop that and focus would you...there will be time for that later..._  
_it wasn't suppose to be..._

"Not funny Castle." she grabs him around the neck and curls her legs around his body.

As their bodies connected Castle knew that things would never be the same.

(_Beckett's mind:) now we are both going to die..._she let's out a deep sigh..._why would he..._  
_stop complaining and go with him...he's just what you need.. _she held onto him with every ounce of energy she had  
_but what if we don't make it...then..._  
_will you shut up...he's here and he's not going to let anything happen to you..._

"No it's not, but it's true. I..." he swallows..."I always will..."

She felt a new sense of closeness with him. With a miraculous snap, she saw the blessed parachute deployed a patriotic red white blue curve above them. It was wonderful to let someone else be in charge if only for a little time. Something she's thought she might never experience in her life and with him she had it twice already.

"Hold on."

"This time I think I can." she could feel his chuckle in his chest.

_(Castle's mind:) this is...this moment is more intimate than making love to her..._  
_you got that right... you now have a... __a permanent connection... one that now couldn't be broken..._  
_I know isn't cool...sure I have saved her life before but not like this...it's different...more..._  
_more...what...she's surrendering to you...trusting you fully...you need to do the same..._  
_I do don't I?  
look at it this way though...__it gives a whole new meaning to the words "have her back,"..._  
_that's not the only way..._his body adds.  
_now let the wind guide you..._A female voice enters his mind, _the wind is your friend_...Castle wasn't sure that was all that true but he went with it and guides his parachute into the now gusty winds.

"So far so good," just as he makes the comment, they were heading straight for a huge tree. "Well, we were."

"What?" Beckett tries to turn her head to see what he was talking about.  
(Beckett's mind:) _oh no...I knew that I shouldn't have trust him all the way..._  
_now...he did..._

Beckett felt the sharp turn and then heard the ripping sound.

_(Beckett's mind:) __oh no he didn't..._  
_at least you're alive..._

a branch was poking right through the red fabric, dangling them in the tree.  
_yes...but he still ends up getting us...caught.._

"Isn't this fun hanging in a tree," Castle laughs.

"For... for who?"

"We have an experience like no other," he shot back.

"Just get us down." she yells. (Castle's mind:) _that's all she has to say, not thanks for saving her..._  
_she just wants to be safely on the ground..._  
_I know me to but she didn't have to yell at me like that...and how am I..._  
_you will think of something...look around use what you have..._

"And how am I suppose to do that...do you have any suggestions?"

"Well no...no I don't I can't think about anything but..."

_(Beckett's mind:) hanging on to him...I don't blame you on that one...  
is that wrong for me to think that?  
not at all...I would be thinking the same thing...  
is this a metaphor for my life? hanging by a tread...should I just let go and see where I land?...  
you landed in his arms that's where...  
yes, yes I did and I...but for how long...I mean...  
_  
Beckett let out a slow sigh.

_(Beckett's mind:) We could probably hang here for hours without any danger of falling right? But danger, it seems..._  
_what to be following you lately. that's true..._  
_I have too many things to do, things that I want to do...how long can we last..._  
_I don't have the answer to that...you two haven't..._  
_had much sleep...I know...well, I haven't and by the looks of him he hasn't either..._  
_you guys have been running...it has to be taking it's toll on you..._

Beckett shuts her eyes for a second.

(Beckett's mind:) _the last time that I was really able to get any real rest was the time that I was in the plane. where he was writing about me and I was dreaming of him. We were safe..._  
_he didn't know you where there...you..._  
_I lied to him...that's..._she let out a slow sigh._ that's when all of this started, when we got off the plane into...where ever we are...__is this a test of some short...one for me and him...or...how my life is going to be...a balancing act...  
__fate apparently chose this for you...  
What...to be hanging in a tree like this...  
no to spend time together...just the two of you...  
then what...have us almost... killed... or to kill each other...  
that is still up to the two of you...  
how do we get down from here?...  
have a little faith...he will thinking of something...  
she swallows, I...  
don't tell me that's what you're afraid of...  
I just...  
you have to trust...  
_

Castle was afraid to look down. He didn't want to know how high they were, caught in a tree was not a plan that he had worked out.  
_(Castle's mind:) how am I...if I don't have any..._  
_use the things around you..._  
_the only thing around me...is that... Old abandon Victorian house with it's peeling paint, and the antique barn under us..._  
_and..._  
_and what...all I see it that it hasn't been kept up, even the uncut lawn and scraggly bushes gives me the creeps. But what mysteries lay inside, it looks like it has stories to tell...it looks like...  
like what?...  
a horror movie...somewhere secluded...if we get down will someone find us...  
_

"Look we're made it to the Bates motel," he laughs out loud.

"What?"

"This farm it looks like a scene from an old Alfred Hitchcock movie, almost like a replica of the Bates house from psycho. Fitting uh."

It was dizzying to look down but Beckett made the effort to. She saw the barn that was next to where they were hanging and then she saw the abandon house that could only be described exactly the way that Castle did.  
_  
(Beckett's mind:) He's right looks just like the one.._  
_don't say it..._  
_but it does...it looks just like...the Bates motel. now that's just creepy..._she swallows.

"Oh no, it..." Beckett starts to say.

"It could be...fitting isn't it I mean... all we need is the lightning in the background...and of course the shower..."

(_Castle's mind:) I wouldn't mind that at all..._  
_ha ha...now think of how you are to get us down..._his body complained.

"Not funny Castle."

_(Castle's mind:) sure it is Beckett, you need to lighten up some..._  
_she will once the two of you are down from here..._  
_I don't...I just want to see her smile again...this whole thing..._  
_then get the two of you..._  
_I know but I still have come up with...I got nothing..._

"I didn't do any of this, I'm just saying...It's..."

Suddenly a succession of gunshots rang out from above them. Bullets slam into the tree limbs shattering wood shards down.

"At least he was bad aim." Castle comments, as more debris falls.

"This is not the time to be joking about it."

"You don't see me missing with how you cope with a dangerous situation do you." anger rose in his voice.

_(Castle's mind:) I wish that she would stop doing that she knows how I work...I have to..._  
_just forget that and think on more important things..._

_(Beckett's mind:) if you keep it up he might drop you...  
__he wouldn't...  
__na he wouldn't but still_. she sighs, _I wouldn't test him..._

"Snipers they don't miss."

_(Castle's mind:) she's right you know..._  
_then what is going on..._  
_don't know unless..._  
_unless...what_  
_unless he's the same..._  
_the helper sniper..._  
_that one..._  
_the one that save my life_...Castle get a shiver up his spine, he did want to live through that again...the look of terror...  
_yes, I think..._  
_you think...you're the brains here...so what are you thinking...  
_  
Castle could hardly hear his own thoughts over the gun shots ringing out.  
_he's doing it again but..._  
_now shooting at us...I don't get..._  
_he's not shooting at you..._  
_you could have fooled me..._  
_he's shooting at the tree..._  
_as in..._  
_trying to get you guys down from here...that's what you wanted isn't it? or was that what Beckett wanted you to do?  
if that's true __then what..._  
_you tell me, you're the writer..._  
_what..._  
_you said that this was your...I should say yall's story...so finish it..._

"What are you thinking?" Beckett asks after his silence was getting to her.

"I think that he's trying to get us down, I know it sounds crazy...but..."

"Crazy themes, with you."

_(Beckett's mind:) I did it again... that's how this works...our partnership how can I not..._

"Sorry...I..." Castle doesn't respond.

_(Beckett's mind:) great now I did it. he's not talking...  
maybe he's thinking...  
of a way to kill me...  
now...who's making jokes...  
but I wasn't...  
you know he wouldn't...  
do I?...everything...  
_

"Anyway I think that they're." Castle comments. He takes a deep breath.

_(Castle's mind:) maybe she's right this does sound crazy but could it be true...  
could be, I mean...I never heard of any but anything could happen..._

"Yes, that does sound crazy."

"Hey," he shouts.

"But you might just be right." she adds quickly.

(_Castle's mind:) me right, she finally admitted it to me. that I can be right..._  
_it's the little things isn't it..._  
_yes, yes it is..._

More shots rang out this time a little to closer to his head.

The next one skims by his ear, which made him change his mind about them helping him.  
_(Castle's mind:) Are they trying to kill me now or is there another shooter..._  
_I don't know..._  
_if so how many more are there? _  
_I don't know that either, I wouldn't... hang... around to find out..._

He jabs his fingers through his hair over his ear, "Ow," he cringes. He looks at his fingers, sees some blood.  
_(Castle's mind:) My beautiful hair..._  
_what...is that all that you can think of at a time like this..._  
_why...was I..._  
_it came close..._  
_I think we have company...  
like a shot out...only we are the targets..._  
_yes..._  
_now what? _  
_the next one might get you or worse...her_  
_I can't let that happen...Not after _  
_that's my boy...now find away_

Castle sees a hole in the barn one of darkness...a hole into darkness. _(Castle's mind:) what evil awaits inside...it's better then this __she wants me to get her down but is this the way...into the dark blindness we go._  
_There's no time to think about that son..._  
_what..._  
_just swing and you will know..._  
_who?_  
_wasn't me or me or me..._  
_it's worth a shot I guess..._  
_just do it... swing towards the hole...before..._

Castle swallows not wanting to think about what could happen if he didn't give this a shot.  
_if I can just get started somehow..._  
_use all your strength...think of a...the murder of..._Castle bends his legs back and finally gets enough strength to start to swing.

"Castle what are you doing?" Beckett asks, holding on tighter to him. _(Castle's mind:) I didn't tell her to choke me..._  
_what did you expect her to do she thinks..._  
_but she's not...she's..._

"Trying to get us down from here if I can.." he responds to her, hoping that that would calm her down some so that she would loosen her grip. but it didn't.

"Trying to get us killed, that's what you are trying to do."

"We're sitting ducks for..." more shots come flying by.

"I changed my mind about them helping us..."

"What?...I thought..."

"What's to stop them from killing us the moment that we..."  
Beckett swallows. _(Beckett's mind:) was that his plan to have them fall, from here._

"If I can get us to that hole in the roof..." _(Beckett's mind:) No Castle not that...there's... _"They are trying to shot us as we are in the tree...if I...I can swing..." he keeps swinging.. "A moving target is harder to hit..."

"Castle no..." He starts swinging harder. "That's not..."

Beckett's world was spinning and dove wildly around her, making her feel more dizzy. More panic arose. She wished that he'd stop but really what other choice did she have? She had to go along with what he was doing.

"You said by any means..."

"I..."

"Well, it was implied." more bullets whizzed by.

"I changed my mind...I..."

"It's the only way that I came up with...If you..." he hesitates wanting to know if she did in fact have another plan.

"No...but are you sure this will work?" she asks knowing full well that he didn't know.

"I have no idea but..."

"Duck Castle,"...He did and another bullet grazed by him. Then the tree limb that was holding them in the tree burst into pieces. "ah.." they both screamed as they fell into the darkness of the hole.

**precinct bull pin:**

"Bad news, guys." the FBI tech calls out. Agent Sorenson grabs the chair next to his tech guy.

"What now?" he comments as he glances at the computer screen they had been glued to. "Did something..." he whispers. "Happen..."

"They went off grid...

"What?"

"What do you mean off grid..." Ryan reacts joining them.

"Disappeared...I mean..." the Tech stammered not knowing how the detective would handle this.

"What does that man bro, that we can't track them any more?" Esposito adds.

"They're own there own!" shots Martha. "Out in the middle of..."

"Where were they last." Jim asks in a demanding tone.

"We can't trace them unless, they come back..."

"You didn't answer my question..." Jim came closer to the tech which made him really nervous.

"The only thing that I do know it's somewhere in the country side.."

"Is this permit? I mean us not tracing them?" Gates adds after she sees all of them looking at the tech.

"The storm, it could have temporarily knocked out their radio signals," seeing the look on her face, he didn't tell her that that was not the case. "It's not that uncommon with storms. I mean...we could be back tracing them any second."

"Or..." Gates was about to asks.

"Or they landed...or crashed." Ryan whispers to Esposito pulling him away.

"Don't think any of that bro. They will..." he sighs, "We have to hold it together."

"I'm just..."

"Don't think it. bro, we have to believe that they are safe."

The tech glances up at the tv screen hearing the words of a breaking story. "Or..." Gates asks again this time after seeing the worried look made by the tech. (Gate's mind:) _oh no that's not a good face. something..._

"Or...what..." she has to know what this tech was thinking, Her people's lives were in danger.

The man just points to the TV.

"That,"

"The locals said they heard an explosion, but right now nothing else is known at this time." the announcer says.

"An explosion...as in..." Martha calls. Horror looks invade the precinct. Jim has his hands over his face. "Not that...not my..."

"I don't know, " the tech man response. "They don't know. It..."

Gates walks over the TV and flips channels hoping to find some more info.

"Nothing over here on the internet either," Soreson adds as he types on his laptop.

"So there might no be any sur..." Ryan starts then stops when he catches some movement from the corner of his eye.

Everyone looks up to see Alexis walking up. "Grams what happened, I saw on the news that...that a plane..."

"Sweetie I... we don't know..."

"We," then Alexis sees the FBI jackets. "Don't lie to me," she reaches for her phone. "There's something that you aren't telling me, now what is it?"

She dials her dad's number. "I can't get dad on the phone, he wont pick up," she glances around the room and notices that Beckett is not there with everyone. (Alexis' mind:) something's not right Beckett is always here, she never... I have to know. If dad...oh no she didn't go after him...she wasn't the one on the plane, and if...was he...was my dad? tears were forming in her eyes before she knew it. She had to pull herself together. "Where's Beckett?"

"Well," Ryan begins when no one answered her. (Ryan's mind:)_ why is it always me that has to..._  
_cause you care that the info comes out..._  
_but I'm no good at it..._  
_sure you are you just need... He sighs._

"Oh no, don't tell me that..." Alexis almost faints, Laine helps her to a chair. "Is she...and my dad? Where's my dad?"

"Have a seat sweetie,"

"I don't want to seat I want answers,"

"We have..." Laine shakes her head as Alexis sits, "We no news." She shakes her head again, this time at the FBI tech guy. But it doesn't go unnoticed by Alexis.

"Tell me... was he...is he...are they..." Alexis tries to say between sniffs.

"We don't know..." Ryan walks up to her.

"And Beckett?" she looks up at him with tears in her eyes.

"We don't know that either," Esposito adds. The heartbreaking face of this girl wanted to make Esposito cry. (Esposito's mind:)_ Where is Beckett when you need her. He thought that he was going to lose it as well. He squinted his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that he heart was feeling for all of them. I can't handle this, I have to..._  
_to what...we don't know anything...just hang on to that..._  
_I..._

"We will find them," Gates tries to come up with something positive even though she doubted that they would be coming back. _(Gate's mind:) But knowing their records they are just fine..._  
_I hope so...I really hope so...I was just..._  
_just what getting use to them...to him..._  
_I..._she sat at her desk and closed her eyes._ I need some info soon._  
_we all do..._

Martha sat by Alexis, "Gates is right we will find them, safe and sound."

All went silent, a deadly silence, the kind of silence that creeps beneath the skin and chills to the bone.

No more voices. No more movements...Nothing.

(fades into darkness)

Castle could only hear his own rugged gasps for breath. He fought the hyperventilation that would a cure if he didn't pull himself together.  
His heartbeat was almost back to normal which was pleasing to him. Although every muscles in his body was aching, but it had done everything he'd had asked of it. He was alive and that's all that mattered. He was so glade that he survived to see another day but something struck him, a feeling of dread. Now almost in total darkness he had to let his eyes adjust.  
_(Castle's mind:) something's not right..._  
_something...you call her...a thing..._  
_oh no...he shook his head. Not Beckett..._

"Beckett!" he yells as he felt his way along under the big roof beams hoping he wouldn't fall through. "Hello," panic starts to set in. Wiping the cobwebs that laced themselves across his face and got snagged in his eyes lashes, he leans over the edge of the loft to see.  
_(Castle's mind:) I hope she's not..._  
_me too..._  
_I don't even see a ladder to the first floor...that means,_ He swallows. _That she..._  
_we don't know that..._

"Beckett!" he screams for a second time, leaning farther over to see if he could see if she went over the edge to the first floor. _(Castle's mind:) Back up from there before..._  
_before what I fall...I..._

He sits back on his knees. Places his hand to his face covering his eyes. _(Castle's mind:) What if._.. He sniffs. tears invade his eyes,_ I can't do anything right...I..._  
_don't..._  
_how can I not...He sniffs, I did this..._He wipes his eyes with his fingers,_ I..._  
_think positive..._  
_how..._

Castle shaking his head, glances around. _Why... am I cursed to be doomed? I.._. He stops his thought when he sees what he thinks is a shadowy form close to where he was. One laying there, not moving.

Oh no, It can't be. It just can't be... He gently takes Beckett in his arms. "Beckett I..." fear fills him, as the woman in his arms didn't move a muscle not one why wasn't she moving...saying anything...  
"Beckett?" he spoke softly to her. "You can't die on me, not now not ever."

With tears flowing down his face, he cradles her closer to him. The room was silent except the sniffling of Castle.

"What have I done? Talk to me Beckett...please Kate talk to me...I..." he sniffs, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen..." He sniffs, "I think that I started all this when I was at the bar...'the last man standing'...I lead the shooters right to you ...I..." he sniffs again. "screw up again and it might have cost me everything..." he blinks trying to rid his eyes of tears, "and you..." he shakes his head and swallows. "I just…it's all my fault…If I…I can't go on…my heart…" he pauses for a second, "Beckett I love you, always have…I tried to give you peace and…now…" he sniffs bending his head next to hers. He closes his eyes and continues to cry. "The one thing I care about more than life...I have lost forever..." he could hear her breathing but she wasn't moving. "Kate..." he glances down at her and he kisses her on the cheek, "Please forgive me…for everything."

to be continued...


	26. Ch 26-Having fun (never hurt anyone)

**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**  
**Chapter 26-Having fun never hurt anyone**

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The floorboards under Castle and Beckett begin to creak under their combined weight.

_(Castle's mind:) Oh no, not that. that means..._  
_no it doesn't..._  
_yes it does..._He feels the shudder of the loft.

Beckett turns her head. "I do...Cass…" she got out before the floorboards under them gave way with one last horrible crack. Castle screams out, he grabs a beam above him, and then grabs her as the loft drops partway, slanting downwards. Another creak.

"It's not going to hold us. Don't let go." Castle yells.

"You figure," she yells back at him.

"I'm trying to be serious, hold on! Stay with me, cause we're going to…." The beam let loose, "fa...ll!" They slid down the rest of the loft, Beckett landing hard on top of Castle. Laying surrounded by hay, Castle heard something crack, this time something inside him.

"Great just what I need more broken bones." he grumbles to himself.

"What?" Beckett shifts on him some. "What did you say?"

"Oh nothing." he squints his eyes, and balls his hands up. "You okay?" he calmly asks her.

"Yeah you."

"I will be,"

_(Castle's mind:) if you get off me so that I can breathe. _He wanted to shout at her.  
_Isn't that what you wanted her to do….be on top of you..._  
_yes, I admit but not like this..._  
_At least you're in one piece..._  
_funny...maybe….I don't know...I think I broke something else..._

"Oh, sorry," she rolls off him and smiles.

"Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'a roll in the hay'." he chuckles then wishes that he hadn't, for a lightening bolt of pain shoots through him.

"Castle!"

"Come on Beckett, you have to admit…it..." he glances over at her as he lays on his back in pain.

"I admit to nothing."

He struggles to lift himself on one elbow so that he could sit up. Beckett sees him struggling, and his eyes filling with tears.

_(Beckett's mind): he's in pain...I see it. why wouldn't he tell me that..._  
_cause you didn't ask him..._  
_what can I do for him_  
_just ask..._

"Are you in pain?"

"Yes, I'm in pain," He shouts at her, "I..." He shook his head.

"Where does it hurt?" She asks watching his expressions.

_(Castle's mind:) the answer to that is everywhere._..._even..._  
_stop complaining_...  
_I wish I could but that's what I do..._  
_a little too much for me..._  
_what's that suppose to mean..._  
_you know, ever since..._  
_since when...oh_

_(Beckett's mind:) What did I do to him...did I?  
not all...  
but all this started..._

"Then thanks for this pile of straw uh." He grabs a handful of loose straw from beside him to show her.

"You can say that again," Beckett tries to get comfortable, "But it is really called hay."

"Straw,.. hay,.. whatever. I'm just saying it could have been worse, a lot worse." (_Castle's mind:) for me anyway._

He let's out a deep breath as he tries once again to get up this time he succeeds. He was able to sit up a little. Smiling he says."We got down didn't we. I mean... I told you I found away." Beckett so wanted to slap that smirk right off his face.

But she was glad to have landed in the pile of hay even thought it was prickly against her skin. He moves closer to her.  
_(Beckett's mind:) Having him propped up like that...it's like..._  
_like what being in bed with him..._  
_well..._  
_if he had only….if the two of you had just done it back in..._  
_in his bedroom at his loft I know..._  
_then maybe none of this would have happened._  
_it wasn't me, it was….._she let out a sigh_…It was cause I...I didn't take a chance...I..._  
_well then how about now..._  
_Now?_  
_Why not this is as good of time as any right?_  
_well it is different…._  
_I'll say….so...something to..._  
_of course it would be.._.she smiles  
_be what?...fun, you deserve some fun..._  
_I never..._  
_A roll in the hay...might be the perfect...between..._  
_just us...two..._.it's intimate and secluded...and it's dark...  
_now you are getting it.._. her heart adds..._this is my chance for me to fly...to fly to heaven a safe haven  
__I don't think we are thinking the same thing  
__I think that you are...look at him...just laying there...smiling...waiting  
__stop that...  
__stop what?...telling you the truth...telling you to...__take the chance...when you do...I will stop...  
_

She looks deep into his eyes. She didn't want to move. His gaze was to hypnotic.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she just blurts, even though she wanted to keep that to herself.

_(Castle's mind:) 'a roll in the hay' is what I'm thinking but...there's no way...she'd go for it..._  
_make your move..._  
_now? I..._  
_you need to take the chance...I know that you heard me say that like a thousand times but how many more chances will you get..._  
_I..._  
_she doesn't seem to be an any hurry to leave...I mean she's just...there...waiting...watching you..._  
_I know..._  
_do it...do it.._.his mind repeats over and over...

"I…" she puts her hands to his mouth. Giving him no time to move, to turn away. "Beckett I..." She gently kisses him, leaning him backwards. The kiss turns deeper, it was a greedy affirmation of life, a reward for both of them cheating death. The kiss continues until their entire bodies were pressed together as hard as their mouths. Making him forget all about his pain...

He rolls them over, so he could be on top her.

_(Castle's mind:) This is not how I really wanted things to go...but.._  
_but what...just let it go..._  
_I..._  
_remember...last...chance..._  
_that's my point..._  
_what..._  
_I want..._

He looks down at her. "I should say, that this is totally wrong."

_(Castle's mind:) that's why you like it...a surprise...something out of the ordinary..._

"and that I'm sorry, but I'm not." his voice was deep and raspy.

"Me either..." she responds, out of breath.

_(Castle's mind:) what did she just say?_  
_she's not sorry that the two of you ended up like this...  
what?...  
just go with it...  
I want...  
I know what you want...you want the something everyday._

She rolls him on to his back.

"Oh," he smiles, "You like to be the one on top. The one in control." She bends down, kisses him again, sliding her hands to unbutton his shirt.

_(Beckett's mind:) this is not how I imagined us doing it...but it...  
works...yes it does...  
this time he has no where to run...  
so you do like to be the one that controls him..._

"This barn could be on fire around us and we wouldn't notice." Castle jokes as he feels his whole body tingling with fire.

_(Castle's mind:) that is how my soul, feels on fire_  
_what about me..._his heart starts to complain.  
_that too...I... How could I have waited this long..._  
_you were making sure ..._  
_I know but for that long... _He let's out a sigh remembering their first shared kiss, that undercover kiss. One that he was sure she felt as much as he did. One that he will never forget. The one that touches his deepest soul...  
_was she worth the wait..._  
_yes she is...I just..._  
_she told you, 'you had no idea'..._  
_and so far...she's right...I..._  
He reaches up to unbutton her shirt. Beckett closed her eyes, enjoying the moment. Letting his hands roam her body as she straddles him. She runs her hands through his silky hair.

Beckett became aware of a strange sound. An odd crackling popping sound. Something was burning her nose. _Na can't be_, she shook off the thought.

_(Beckett's mind:) is that smoke that I smell?_  
_na, it's just your imagination cause he said that the two of you...are hot together_  
_she sets him on fire...and he sure does that to me.._.her heart comments...  
_you got that right I need..._her body adds._..ice cubs anyone...I do..._  
_no something's burning my nose...as well_  
_it's..._

Castle gliding his hands down her back, feels her hesitation and decides to lower her down on him. He gently grabs her by the shoulders and drags her mouth back down to his.

"Castle," she mumbles, through her mouth.

"Don't..." _(Castle's mind:) not this time...this is what I've been waiting for...don't spoil it now._

Beckett pushes herself up off of Castle.

"Kate...I..."

"We got to get out of here and now!"

"What?" Castle questions worry crept in his voice. "Why?"

**_to be continued..._**


	27. Ch 27-heat is on (the run)

**Take a chance on me**  
**by BeCastle**  
**chapter 27-Heat is on the run**

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Beckett jumps down buttoning her shirt. Castle just stares back in disbelieve, slamming his hands down in the hay.  
_(Castle's mind:) Damn...How could she leave me over some stupid comment I made. I..._  
_what blew it...that..._  
_don't say I did...cause I..._  
_I know that you are hurting...once again...but talk to her...find out..._

"Kate, I was just kidding, I mean... I don't think." His body and heart both protested with the sudden movements, the emptiness left behind. Every muscle in his body tenses as the pain of every failure every lost chance buffeted him inside and out. He watches her race to the wall.

_(Castle's mind:) __Damn. Come back Kate my body needs you. I need you. Don't just walkout on me...not after..._She stops._ What is she looking for? What is really going on? Is this place really on fire...I just don't get it._  
_Go after her..._  
_I..._

"What are you doing? Was this so wrong? Was I wrong? (Castle's mind:)_ like that's happened before,_  
_oh shut up..._

"Finding a way out of here." She responds in one breath. She didn't turn to look at him. She starts to grope the wall, looking for the latch to the door. _(Beckett's mind:) If I can only get it open but what if I can't we will... does he not know this..._  
_well look at him...look at how you left him like that._  
_what...I..._  
_stop complaining...__I have to think and fast._

Castle, seeing that she wasn't giving up, grunts trying to get to his feet. Which he is having a hard time not only cause his original pain but the new pain of another rejection came in play. That's when he notices that she was at the door trying to get it opened.  
_(Castle's mind:) why is she running from me...what did I do that was so wrong?_  
_It's not you..._  
_what...  
_Then he heard what he thought was a crackling sound._ no way. _He thought,_ This can not be happen, really, come on...these things don't just happen...and don't say they happen just because...  
I wouldn't dare...  
_He tried to force himself to his feet but having no luck. _(Castle's mind:) Kate you can't just leave me here...she wouldn't would she...I mean..._  
_get up you big baby..._  
_I...I..._

"Don't open that door...it will..." Castle screams at her knowing, that if she did open that door then the fire would spread faster.

"What?" she turns to face him, "help me we need to get out of here or we will..."

**Outside:**

a mystery man using his jacket to avoid burning his hands pulls at the barn door, not expecting what would happen. He just knew that the two of them were last seen falling in there. "I have to do something. I didn't come this far to lose them, not now, not ever. I know too much, seen to much...and now..." The door finally let loose. That only fed the flames which made a big whooshing sound that was so intense that it drove him backwards knocking him to the ground, before he could breathe.

The beast's breath came hotter like the orange fires from hell. He could see its fiery fingers reaching for...who him. He watches in awe-stricken horror, "No one is going to survive that. If they..." He swallows not wanting to think about a...two burned up bodies. "Hello, can anyone hear me? Anyone there?" He thought his shouts were all in vain until, he thought he saw a shadow coming forward. "That can't be."

A coughing shadow appears out of the darkness of the flames. Beckett bends over just outside the door trying to clear her throat from the smoke. The man steps forward. "I have to see..."  
Still getting over her coughing fit, Beckett could hear footsteps walking up next to her, thinking that it was Castle, she sighs with relief.

"Good you're out." Letting her eyes focus, she lets her tears drip down welcoming them for first time, without wiping them away. She didn't care if he saw her pain, as long as they are safe that's all that matters right now.

She glances for a second, in shock of the flames shooting through the barn roof and leaping into the sky, before she turns to ask Castle if he's okay. "Castle I... Ah..." She jumps back some seeing a complete stranger standing next to her. "Oh no...he can't be!" her heart sank.  
(_Beckett's mind:) If he's not... then he's still...I..._  
_You need to stay here...it's to dangerous..._  
_I have to go back for him...I can't just leave him there to...Castle..._  
But before Beckett could make a move, the man grabs her. Practically wrapping himself around her body in a stationary tackle. She watches helplessly as the flames grow bigger, engulfing the barn.

"Let go of me!" Beckett shouts as she struggles in the man's grip. "My lov...partner's still in there."  
_(Man's mind:) Partner oh no... he can't. But I can't let her go back in...it's too dangerous. I..._

The man uses all his strength to keep Beckett still but she struggles with equal determination. "Castle, he's... I'm not going to leave him, I'm not going to let him die." A split second later, Beckett who was going to stop at nothing to get to back to Castle steps back on to the man's ankle.

He yelps and loosens his hold on her. _(Beckett's mind:) That works... you go girl... now go and find him. Hurry..._  
_You don't have to tell me twice..._

She made a break for it, with her sleeve over her hand she covers her nose running full speed a head right back into the flamey monster. Obscuring her face was the black smoke that was roiling around in the barn and coming towards her.

"Castle..." she screams in terror. _(Beckett's mind:) What if I can't find him...what if..._She shook her head. She couldn't think like that. She moves in farther. She had to remind herself one step at a time..."Castle where are you... I can't find you." She yells at the top her lungs than coughs. She stops to listen for him. Nothing. _(Beckett's mind:) I shouldn't have left him. If he..._She swallows_...Then I..._  
_don't even go there...he's..._

"Castle," she cries out again, looking in every direction in space of minutes, the fire had gone from a medium size blaze into an inferno. The hay loft was now a red and orange monster burning everything in its path trying to get out, licking at the windows curling its claws around the eaves, while the bottom was all black with it heavy smoke.  
"I can't see, you...are you..."

"Follow my voice." he calls out. "I can't move that fast. I..." she could hear him coughing.

"Castle!"

"Beckett..." A beam falls in front of her causing her to fall to the ground. Even though she was exhausted and hurt she was now energized just knowing that he was alive. But she had to get to him, get him out of there. Get herself back out of there. She jumped up from her knees. Still not seeing him, she glancing in the last direction of his voice.  
"Still here," Then she sees him past the beam on fire in front of her, leaning over the edge of the trailer. He reaches out as far as he could, ignoring the burning flames to grab her hand. "Beckett, I can't reach you." he grunts trying to reach out farther for her without falling out himself. He swallows. _(Castle's mind:) Not this again._

"You'll have to jump on this thing." she froze, stood there not sure what to do. "You will have to jump it's starting to move with me...in..."

"What?" _(Beckett's mind:) it's moving what the...how..._  
_don't ask questions... that is for..._  
_and he wants me to what?_  
_jump in his arms..._  
_but you know..._  
_I know but...he you..._

"Just get a running start and jump on. You can make it...trust me.." He swallows wanting to be there with her in her arms. "Believe..." She jumps, once again tackles him backwards, landing in his arms. Just as the tractor hits the back of the barn at full speed ripping a hole in the barn. "See I told you." catching her breath she smiles at him. They both watch as the rest of the barn crashed into ashes.  
It took a few minutes for either one of them to say anything to each other as the trailer began to slow down to a steady pace.

"Where are we going?" Beckett finally broke the silence trying to see over the mound of hay to the front of the trailer.

"I don't know but we are out of there." Castle points, "Just in time too."

"Who's driving this thing?"

"I don't know does it matter, we are..."

"Yes it does, what if the killer is..."

"Kate," he took her hand. "Let's not go there, right now." Beckett turns her head from him. "Don't fight with me...we are." he put his arms around her. "We are alive and..." he tries to kiss her, "Now, where were we..." He wanted nothing more than to feel all of her again against him but seeing how this was going and her mood, he knew that, that was not going to happen anytime soon.

"Castle not now," she struggles out of his embrace.

"What? I..."

"Castle don't..."

"What did I do..." _(Castle's mind:) She's upset..._  
_what can I do..._  
_change the subject make her feel safe..._  
_how to do that if I can't..._  
_you can..._  
_the only way that she would be safe is in my arms...but that's not going to happen, she won't let me get that close to her._  
_not yet..._  
_not till..._  
_till you make something happen...before she does that..._  
_does what..._

Beckett slides farther to the edge judging if she could jump off the moving trailer and make it.  
"Beckett...Kate no, you wouldn't just leave me...again would you." he chuckles. Trying to convince that, that is not the right thing for them to do.

"Castle. We have to go. What if the killer is behind this?"

"Why would he rescue us again...and then not say hold us at gun point."

"What..." She glances back over her shoulder at him.

"That's what happened last time," Castle continues on.

"Castle," _(Beckett's mind:) why would he bring that back up again, doesn't he know that that..._  
_that was his point it doesn't make sense for them to do that again._  
_but what if...I wouldn't be able to..._  
_able to what? you have to..._  
_what...I..._

"I'm just saying maybe we just need to enjoy the ride," he leans back, "I'm tired...and hun..." he yawns.

_Stop that,_ she wanted to tell him. It reminded her of how tired she was of running and at this point so far nothing was going wrong...so maybe this ride would do them good.

"And besides it will be dark soon. I'm scared of the dark."

"You?" she scoffs.

sheepishly Castle answers her, "Yeah," he turns his face. Hoping that she saw that childish look, he give her from time to time. "I bet you didn't know that. Soooo" he drags out the word so, "why don't we stay together." he grins hoping that he would get to be in her arms again or at least put the idea in her head. He was also hoping she would change her mind about jumping down and just walking away. "And besides we have no clue of where we are...I just..." Beckett hesitates, even though it was for only a second, it seemed like an eternity to Castle, then slides back.  
_(Beckett's mind:) Damn I hate it when he's right...we do...do better together._

"Dark doesn't mean we're safe,"

"But in my arms you will be."

"Castle,"

"I just saying together we..." she put her hand up to stop his thought.

"But what if you are wrong."

_(Castle's mind:) what, I'm never wrong... how can she say that._

"Wrong," he chuckles, "me...then you can personally kill me." she darts him a death glare, "there see." he laughs, "A smile,"  
_(Castle's mind:) success_  
_and then?_  
_and then what? that's all I got at this moment._

Then seeing her look, his smile turns to a frown, "You know what I mean..." he reaches out to her but she backs up some.  
_(Beckett's mind:) trust him..._  
_he..._  
_what...  
we get into more trouble when we are together..._  
_and that's a bad thing?...it's a fun thing and you know it..._  
_he..._  
_he always ends up getting you out and this..._  
_not this time..._she sighs_. maybe he's right...this might be our ticket out...we did get help before..._  
_there you have it._  
_but what if..._  
_but what if nothing you are moving faster on this then..._  
_yeah but..._  
_just relax, and get some rest..._  
_with him here...I don't..._she yawns.  
_he's always here..._her heart comments_ always will be...so get use to it..._

"Kate...I didn't mean." he looks back at her, she has her back towards him, "Great now she's mad at me again. Why can't I..."

"Shhhh...Will ya." comes a whispers of a male's voice, from behind them.

"Wha?"

"Just stop talking, do you always talk this much...about nothing."

"This was between me and her." he glares at the man, who was driving the tractor. Castle was getting angry.  
_(Castle's mind:) who gives him the right to but in on us..._  
_he is..._  
_that gives him no right to..._

"Who are you?" Castle demands trying to see the man behind the voice.

"Just...well a driver...your driver...one that..."

"That hears everything, you're like a spy." _(man's mind:) a spy...that's actually what I'm son._  
He smiles at Castle, taking his eyes off the road, _Just you don't know it yet. you may never know, I just..._a horn honks, "yeah, yeah." the man yells.  
_(Castle's mind:) maybe this guy's right, I just need,_ Castle yawns, _to take, a nap._ he yawns again.

"Sounds like you need a nap just like..." The man's voice was cut off for no reason that Castle could see.  
(_Castle_'s_ mind:) What was going on up there, someone just doesn't cut off unless..._

"What?"

"Duck now." Castle remembers that Beckett always yells at him when he doesn't, so he did.  
Then Castle hears the one the one thing that he hates the most. A gun shot. _(Castle's mind:) not again not more...I'm not...I don't._  
_Just stay down _his mind yells_ .that way..._  
_what..._  
_you wont get hit..._  
_but..._

"Stay down, just like..." the man comments. Castle hears more shots and places his hands over his ears to cover them. "I hate that sound, and it's getting darker, I have no." Castle swallows.

"You don't need one. Just stay down son," the man points his gun in Castle's direction.

"Whoa," Castle cries out. "I..." he put his hands up.

_(Castle's mind:) Where have I had that done before. Just like...he wouldn't...but did he...was he the one that..._Castle swallows_. I'm...we're in trouble, I let.._.He blinks_. Was Beckett right, have I let...what have I done..._Castle watches the gun wave back and forth with the slight turn on the wheel. _Is he trying to shot at me...us...I...why...is he the killer..._

"Do you know what 'Duck,' means son...Come on now..." Castle gets down flat, then out of the corner of his eyes see men fall.  
_(Castle's mind:) What the...it was him earlier and..._  
_and what..._  
_wait...why would he..._Then the man's last words came to Castle 'son'. _son what? why would he...call me that...I..._  
_it's just an expression..._his mind comments._...it's means nothing..._  
_yeah it's nothing... _Castle shook his head. _I'm just thinking too much.._he shook his head again. _Yeah that's it._

Silence. That was never a good thing with him these days.

"Beckett, how's Beckett."

"shhhh..."

"Don't shush me." Castle's voice was getting angrier at this guy. (_Castle's mind:) who gives him the right to shush me_  
_just let that go and listen to him...for once...just listen he might know something..._  
_but I..._  
_shush..._  
_you too..._  
_yes...now be quiet..._

"She's..."

"She's what? she's what?" he looks over at her, panicking.

"She's fine, she's sleeping. now shh...before you wake her up."

"And the guns wont." Castle shot back in defense. (_Castle's mind:) that was weird doesn't he know that gun shots are louder than my voice..._  
_that's debatable..._  
_what's that suppose to mean... and what's up with this guy...does he...  
_

"And how do you know...she's..."

"Sleeping..." the man finished his question. "Trust me, I know." _(Castle's mind:) he wants me to trust him...I don't know him, how can I and..._  
_ask him then..._  
_what?_  
_if you want to know the answer then just ask..._

"What, how?" Castle stammers.

"She's been asleep for a while, like I thought you would be too but you..."

"I can't if i don't know who you are...and with that," Castle swallows, "that display I have..."

"To wonder right?" the man comments over Castle, "I can't really tell you who I'm but let's just say, hum...what would I writer say..."  
_(Castle's mind:) what how did he...I didn't...how can...does he..._

"no worries," the man glances at Castle then back to the road. "Now get some sleep we got a long drive back to New York...well I do."

_(Castle's mind:)what...how...did he...  
just do what he says cause I'm tired of arguing with you...  
_

Castle, still trying to figure out how this man knows him and where he was from yawns. _(Castle's mind:) see so are you..._  
_I know but how..._  
_just be grateful for the help and leave it at that..._  
_but I..._  
_you want to know the whole story...let's find that out later...now..._  
_I..._  
_he's watching over you two  
how..._Castle tries to hold back another yawn but couldn't. The man watching through his side view mirror again sees that Castle is trying his best to stay awake.  
_(Man's mind:) why wont he just trust..._  
_his been through too much...he doesn't want to shut his eyes...he feels..._  
_I know that...I seen more than he knows...and will ever know..._  
_are you going to tell him..._  
_when is the right time..._  
_you have to make the time...how long can you keep this from him..._  
_right now I have to protect him and...what is she to him..._  
_to me he's in love with her...girlfriend maybe..._  
_I hope that it's more than that the way..._  
_only his heart knows that..._  
_unless..._  
_oh no, don't get involved...that's the last thing that he needs..._  
_just helping him along with way..._

Looking once again at the couple through his mirror. This time he sees that Beckett to him anyway, looks like she was shivering. _That's not good_. He leans over and grabs a blanket from beside him. _That should help them...if they can get cozy then one thing well let's just hope that one thing leads to another._ he smiles._  
oh no...don't..._  
_just helping him out...that's the least I can do for now..._

"Here...here's a blanket for...well I only have one." which was a lie but the man wasn't going to share that with the two of them. "You'll have to share it." He threw it at Castle who caught it. "Nice catch,"

The man watches Castle as he curls up against Beckett wrapping his arm around her.  
_(Castle's mind:) Now she's in my arms. I can relax...not all the way but..._  
_just hold her... _As Castle pulls the blanket over the both of them Castle lets his eyes flutter shut.

"Finally, you did something that you were told." The man whispers out loud to himself. _(Man's mind:) __he's just like you._  
_I know.._.A tear slid down the mans face._ Just like me...I had that once too...a woman that I loved with all my heart...and would do anything for...even die._  
_I know...you made..._  
_I just hope he will be as happy._ the man sniffs. _as I was...and maybe they will have the chance that I never had with..._He wiped the tears from his eyes. _maybe they will stay together..._

A ghostly vision of the woman that he lost appears, the one that he lost because of what he did for his job. _I forgive you honey, _her soft voice calls out to him. The same voice that he remembers, how could he not he was so in love with her, but things didn't last. He searched for her, but he could never get close enough to her again. He could only watch her...them from a distance. That's the price that he had to pay.

She reaches out and touches him on the shoulder,_ we both forgive you...we both love you.._.then the vision vanishes just as he did many, many years ago. "I love you." the man says out loud. "I want you to know that. Always. I will always love you." more tears slid down his face as he continues to drive the trailer with the two of them safely in the back. "Always..."

**to be continued...**

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**just a note...**

**hope that everyone is enjoying this story...sorry so long. I added an extra scene or two to ch 28 that's why the delay of it, hope to post in the next few days. **


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